B0**0**$ to Blue Monday

Here’s to Happy Monday instead.

You may have seen my post on Facebook last week, frustrated with the continued press coverage of Blue Monday. Every year it’s rolled out, telling us that the unhappiest day of the year is upon us. Well, I say B0**0**$ to it!

How can one day be ‘scientifically’ defined as the least happy day of the year for anyone, let alone everyone? We’ve had to suffer an endlessly negative news cycle for the past who knows how many years now, with the doom and gloom of Brexit followed by apocalyptic levels of misery heaped upon us when COVID hit.

Yes, there have been some hard times, and there’s no denying that many of us have found things tough and had plenty of reasons to feel low, but there’s no need to pre-condition people’s minds to have them believing they’ll feel low just because it’s a certain day on the calendar.

Here’s why I say let’s call Monday 17th January 2022 Happy Monday instead:

1. The power to be happy is in your hands

   I’ve posted and written about happiness many times over the years. It’s something that we place great importance on in modern society, yet we’ve got a little muddled about exactly what happiness is and how we achieve it.

   First off, we think that we need to find some sort of permanent state of happiness. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, being permanently happy would be really weird. You may have read the studies done on lottery jackpot winners that demonstrated how the initial win led to increased perceived levels of happiness but, in the long term, day-to-day happiness levels were similar to people who hadn’t picked the winning numbers.

   Whilst more cash definitely led to more financial satisfaction and fewer financial worries, everyday happiness appeared no different. And that’s because happiness, much like fitness, can’t be stored. You need to keep taking daily action to keep you feeling happy. Seeing friends and family, getting out for a walk in the countryside, playing a game, taking time for hobbies and pastimes, achieving things in your career, or learning something new are just a handful of the things that you can do to maintain decent levels of happiness.

   There have also been some fascinating studies done on happiness and smiling. We know that when we are happy, we smile, but did you know that smiling can make you happy? Curling the sides of your mouth up at the sides can trigger your brain to release those happy hormones and, as a result, make you feel like smiling even more! Just another little piece of evidence to show how the things you do can positively impact how you feel.

2. January is a beautiful month

   Blue Monday is based on some sort of misconception that January is a horrible month. I’d like to ask you to question that assertion. What about the beauty of the frosty mornings, the intense brightness of the sun so low in the sky, amazing sunrises and even more amazing sunsets, the potential chance of snoooooooooooooooooooooooow, the calm after the hectic festive period and a return to familiar routines, great new series to watch on your tellybox, the increasing feeling of wellbeing as your diet starts to improve and you get back to more regular exercise, the excitement of goals, plans, and adventures that lie ahead in the new year.

   And, if all of that doesn't whet your appetite for January, why not search out your Scottish heritage in the family tree and get ready to celebrate Burns Night on the 25th of this month.

3. There are always things to be happy about

   If you can open your mind to the possibilities, you’ll find that there are always that can put a smile on your face. Look for those tiny moments of joy and you may well find that your whole worldview starts to change. You’ll be able to let world affairs and news drift over you and discover great satisfaction in daily life. A text from a friend, the amazing patterns the ice makes on your car windscreen, the taste of your favourite food or drink, the chirp of a robin sitting by your window, happiness is all around you if you just look for it.

   I can tell you that we’ve found much joy in recent years by practising gratitude for the many great things in our lives. You can simply list things in your head, or get a journal and record the things you have been grateful for today before you go to sleep.

Some Monday mood-lifting inspiration

If you still need some help to put a little cheer in your day this Monday, why not do one of the following:

• Get in touch with a friend or, even better, catch up face-to-face for a cuppa.

• Rekindle an old hobby. Get that guitar out of the cupboard under the stairs, pick up your crafting skills, start reading that book you’ve been meaning to start, whatever it is that enables you to feel like you.

• Book yourself onto a course. If that’s too much, do a quick bit of research into a subject that fascinates you, a period from history, your family tree, or some fun facts about where you live.

• Pop your favourite tunes on. Music is well-known to be a great mood-lifter. And science says it can be absolutely anything, as long as it’s something you love.

• Fuss your pets (or go see a friend and fuss theirs if you don’t have one).

• Treat yourself to your favourite meal or drink, or maybe just something from the local bakery or coffee shop.

• Smile.
  

My own recipe for happiness

Use your time to do what you love. Spend your time with the people you love. See problems as challenges. Keep looking for solutions, there is always a way. Be curious. Never stop being childish. Focus on the positives. Be grateful for the many wonderful things your life brings. Eat well but remember that this includes room for your favourite things. Get outside. Move. Smile.

Self-sabotage: Why do you do it? And how can you stop?

Why do you self-sabotage? Why do you sometimes try to undo all of the hard work that you've put in with your exercise routine, eating habits, lifestyle changes, or other self-improvement goals?

It's a question that I've worked through many times with clients over the years. Very rarely do they understand why they do it. And that's one of the issues. Getting to the root cause of a behaviour, understanding what triggers us to act that way in the first place, allows us to either seek to remove the trigger from our life, or to at least recognise what's going on and come up with a plan for when it does occur.

Let's take a look at some of the most common reasons I've heard from clients over time, and some possible solutions.

Why do I press self-destruct?

1. Issues with self-worth

A number of clients I've worked with over the years have come to the realisation that they don't see themselves in a particularly positive light. This can be for a whole host of reasons but, whatever it is, in many instances it has led them to feel as if they're not worthy of achieving the goals they are after.

They see themselves as undeserving of good health or happiness or career success or whatever it is they're working on.

Action: What can you do about it?

In the first instance, you might find it helpful to talk this through with someone; a friend or family member, your trainer, or, if more appropriate, a counsellor. Understanding how you see yourself, and why, can be the first step towards changing that perception for the better.

2. Fear of, or potential drawbacks to the change

Sometimes, when I work through what went wrong with clients, they discover that they were actually harbouring some fears or concerns over the goal they had put in place.

They hadn't consciously recognised that they had legitimate concerns about the changes that would happen were they to succeed. Instead, they had let their subconscious mind sabotage their efforts so that they wouldn't have to worry about these things. Quite clever, and entirely logical if you think about it.

Action: What can you do about it?

Perform a 'Benefits & Drawbacks Analysis' on your goal. What are the potential positives for you of achieving it? What might be the negatives?

Having done this, you can analyse in more detail which of these things is most important to you and decide if the goal is right for you right now. You may find that a simple tweak is all it takes for it to work much better, or you may want to choose another goal entirely. It really doesn't matter. What matters is that it works for you.

3. Negative self-talk - 'I'll never succeed'

This can happen for many reasons. Maybe it's a self-worth thing. In which case, see Point Number One. But, sometimes it can be far simpler than that. Sometimes it's a belief that has been ingrained into your mindset over time. Let's take Newcastle United fans as an example (sorry to any Magpies amongst you). They probably go into each football season firmly believing that they're not going to win the league. Why? Because year in, year out, they don't. If you imagine their belief that they won't win the league as a tabletop, every time that belief is backed up in reality, a leg is added to the table underneath. If it happens just once, the belief is on shaky foundations and can easily be changed. But, when it happens time after time, that table (belief) has many legs and it becomes much harder to topple over.

Maybe you've tried losing weight a number of times but you haven't succeeded in keeping it off. In this instance, you can start to believe that it's never going to happen, so you say to yourself, 'it doesn't matter if I eat those biscuits, because I won't lose weight anyway.' It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Action: What can you do about it?

• Try 'I might' instead of 'I will.' Stable beliefs don't always change overnight. They may take time. I could tell you to just simply believe in yourself, tell yourself you can do it and so on and so forth. But you may just look at me and say, 'Why should I?' In this instance, it can help to start with 'I might.' I might lose weight if I didn't have those biscuits, or I might find running easier if I did 1-mile three times a week for a month. Give yourself a timescale that you're going to try it for, and see what happens. You might just notice some progress.

• Think about times where you have been successful. If you do notice that you feel negative about yourself, think back to times where you have succeeded and it made you feel good. What did you do? How did you do it? Whose help did you enlist to make it happen? What was different about that instance? And how can you use that with this goal?

• Focus on small wins. Set micro-goals. Rather than saying, I'm not going to eat biscuits this month, focus on just one day, or even just half a day. Every time you succeed with one of these little wins, you saw a negative leg off that belief table of yours and replace it with a positive one.

• Reframe. I frequently hear words like 'disaster', 'nightmare', 'failure', or 'self-destruct' from clients who struggle to maintain their goals. I even used that last one myself to title this article. But I did it because, if you're someone who experiences this, you probably use that term too. How about we try reframing it though? Maybe 'blip' or 'stumble' or 'minor setback' or 'one of those days.' Call it whatever you like that decreases its importance, because one unhealthy meal, or one day of too much alcohol, or one day of no exercise, or even a few days, or a week, isn't a disaster. It only becomes a disaster when we get ourselves into the cycle of repeating it again and again. If you had no plan to give up alcohol forever, why are you beating yourself up when you had a few drinks one night? Accept it, downplay its importance, and get back to the better habits you've been doing so well with. Do that, and it really won't make a difference at all.

P.S. Newcastle fans, has your belief about winning the league changed this week with new owners at the club? Has it sawn all of those negative legs off of your table???

4. The happiness trap - Celebrating success (a little too much)

Here's an interesting version of self-destruction. It's the one where you work really hard to achieve your goals, get exactly what you're after, and then go back to all the less healthy habits and undo it all. You get fit, then you stop training completely. You reach your weight loss goal, then go back to your comfort foods. You improve your sleep, then you start staying up late binge-watching Netflix series again!

Action: What can you do about it?

• Remember the pain. Many people come to me when they are in pain. Sometimes physical, but often emotional. The problem is, once you've reached your goal, you're not in pain anymore. You stop doing the exercises the physio gave you to make your shoulder better. You stop preparing your meals for the week and go back to snacking on the go. But, if you can give yourself a constant reminder of what it was like to be in that rubbish place, sometimes you can provide yourself with the motivation you need to not go back there. A photo of you at a weight you hated. An appointment card you had from those oh so painful physio treatment sessions stuck on your computer monitor. Anything that reminds you what it was like.

• Analyse your happiness habits and plan solutions. It might surprise you to know (or not) that many of my clients find being in a positive mood a dangerous time for them in some ways. When they are happy, they drink more, eat more of the wrong foods, stay up later, or find themselves performing less than healthy habits. If you know this is what you do, then at least you can prepare a plan of action for your danger times. If I feel like this (x)...then I will do this...(y). Preparation puts you back in control.

There are, of course, many more ways that you can find the right balance and discover a way to achieve lasting health, fitness, and happiness.

Here's something for you to think about:

Do I ever press self-destruct? If so, why? And what could be a possible solution to this in future?

Should you need any help at all with this, remember that I'm only an email, phone call, smoke signal, or carrier pigeon message away.

Paul

paul@balancehealthandfitness.co.uk

0775 200 1203

How has the easing of lockdown improved your wellbeing?

You might think that a picture of a group of people drinking has no place on a website dedicated to your wellbeing and, in some ways, it doesn't. It's certainly not the alcohol that's the most important element of the picture. Far from it. It's the fact that the people are together, socialising, and enjoying themselves.

Our lives have been changed in so many ways over the past 15 months. We've had many of our freedoms taken away and realised the importance of many things that we simply took for granted.

So what is it about the recent easing of lockdown that's been most helpful in improving your wellbeing? Maybe it's:

Getting to see family and friends.

Studies have suggested that the strength of a person's social circle might be a better predictor of stress, happiness and wellbeing than some fitness tracker data. So, going to the pub for a drink with friends could actually be just as important as going for your morning run! Who knew???

I can't find the reference, but one of my all-time favourite research studies was done on a group of elderly folk who were suffering from mild depression. During the study, half of the participants took part in regular exercise sessions, whilst the others got together for regular tea and biscuit mornings. The results? Both groups saw equal improvements in their mood (and in other markers of wellbeing too)! It seemed just the act of being with others was enough to improve wellbeing. Wonderful news to my ears, as that means not only can I go to the pub, I can have biscuits too!!! ;-)

NOTE: All in moderation of course. It's all about balance.

Freedom

Human beings have been fighting to protect their freedoms for millennia, and no doubt will continue to do so for thousands more years to come. Being able to choose, to do what we want, when we want to, is an essential element of our wellbeing.

Autonomy is well recognised as being vital in so many aspects of our lives. As a child, we grow up wanting the freedom to be able to do the things we want, and this certainly causes a few arguments with our parents along the way! In the workplace, autonomy is recognised as one of the key elements that help workers to feel valued and, consequently, increases the loyalty someone feels towards an organisation, and the productivity of their work.

Many of our simplest freedoms have been missing this past year. The freedom to go where we want to, see who we like, partake in many of our favourite hobbies and pastimes. Maybe getting this back, even just a little, has been the thing you've treasured most in recent weeks?

Spontaneity

'Shall we go out for dinner tonight?' When was the last time you said that? These days, it's more like 'I best book a table at the pub for two weeks Tuesday, just in case they get full.'

I know this is one of the things I've missed hugely. When we did our ride last year, I was hoping that we'd be able to just take each day as it comes, see how far we could go, and then, late afternoon pop into a campsite or B&B that we were passing to see if they had any space. The reality was much different. We had to plan every stay a week or more in advance and stick rigidly to our schedule.

I guess spontaneity is all part of freedom. To be able to go where the wind blows us, to drift on the tide, enjoy the ride, and see where we end up.

Variety

'What day is it?' How many times have you asked that question in recent times? When all days feel the same, it really is hard to tell!

Weirdly, having some structure in our lives also provides us with variety. We know that we do specific things on certain days and at certain times, work being the obvious example. But it's the structure of a working week that allows evenings and weekends to feel like such a wonderful change.

As a self-employed person, I've had to work hard for years to ensure I kept variety in my week. To limit myself to working on certain days between certain times, and even in specific places in the house. It's a vital part of wellbeing. It allows us to compartmentalise our lives into work time, family time, me time, and any other time that's important.

Variety really is the spice of life, so it's quite understandable that many people have found the monotony of lockdowns such a challenge. Hopefully, now your freedoms are beginning to return, you've started to feel like your life has both more structure and more variety again?

How has the easing of lockdown improved your wellbeing?

I’d love to know, so please do reply and tell me in the comments box below. And whatever your reasons, long may it continue!

We had some great news

We have had some great news

It was a drab, grey day in November and I was stood outside an equally drab, grey building waiting to hear from Lou. The building in question was the Royal United Hospital in Bath, and Lou was inside awaiting a scan to see if we had lost our baby. Because of the bloody virus, up and down the country Lou, and other women like her, were having to go through the ordeal of tests like this all alone. All their partners could do was sit outside and wait for news.

‘Had the scan. It’s not the news we wanted I’m afraid.’

I was sat on one of those yellow grit boxes outside the hospital entrance when her text came through. Was the cold, yellow plastic slippery all of a sudden? Or was I just sinking to the floor? Down into the bowels of the Earth, through the tarmac path, through the worms and soil. Dragged deeper and deeper into the damp, dark, underworld of sadness and despair. The rain began to fall. I felt cold and lost.

The building looked uglier than ever to me now. Inside that concrete castle somewhere, Lou was sat, alone, having to grieve the loss of our child. She may have been only a few hundred metres away, but it may as well have been eternity. I couldn’t see her, couldn’t reach her, hold her close, and tell her that it was going to be alright. Because that is what this virus has done to people. It has driven a stake through those vital moments in life - of grief and of joy - when people need to be together. That very day Lou and I could have walked into a supermarket together and carried out our weekly grocery shop, but we weren’t able to be together at a time when we really needed to be. If you’re wondering, I don’t blame anyone for this. Certainly not the wonderful doctors, nurses, reception staff, porters, and cleaners within those four walls. Not even the government for their sometimes-nonsensical rules. This has been a time of great uncertainty, of things that have never gone before, of learning as we go, and of doing what we can. I just wish that it hadn’t needed to be that way, that’s all.

I hauled myself up from the floor. I had to be strong. Lou would be out soon, and she would need my support. Through the windows above, I could see nurses scurrying by, working hard to help others like they always do, but with added pressure on their own lives. A steady stream of large-bellied ladies headed in and out of the large glass doors, a cruel reminder of appointments we would now not get to experience. Scans that we wouldn’t get to see. Stubby, pink, new-born fingers and toes we would never get to feel.

Eventually, Lou emerged through the glass sliding doors, now glistening brightly in the bright sunshine that often follows the rain. But it still felt like a grey day. We held each other and cried, then we climbed into the van and drove away.

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We had only discovered Lou was pregnant a few days before the end of our long-distance charity bike ride. In fact, it turned out she had cycled half of our trip, around 1,000 miles, whilst pregnant. Her tiredness and breathing challenges made more sense now. We thought it had simply been the difficulties of the challenge, coupled with the ongoing breathing problems she had been experiencing over the past year, and for which she’d been undergoing various tests of her heart.

By the time we discovered Lou was pregnant, we’d already made the decision to pause our adventure for the year in a few days’ time anyway. Virus cases were rising across Britain, more local lockdowns were being enforced, and the weather was turning. We knew it was the right decision, but we both hated the fact that we were stopping. We’d set out to complete the challenge, and we didn’t want to give in. Once Lou told me the news though, I was glad we weren’t continuing. I’d been worried enough when I felt responsible for keeping Lou safe. Now I had to make sure I protected her and our unborn child. I considered suggesting we stop straight away, but I knew what she was like and that she would say no. Our plan was to make it through all of the National Parks and National Scenic Areas in Scotland, tipping over the 2,000-mile mark. Exactly halfway towards the total, and meaning that when we did start again in future, we’d be straight back over the border into England for a whole new leg to the adventure. When we rolled into Melrose on that final Friday, I was delighted to have experienced all the things we had over those few months, but more than anything I was relieved that all members of our new family had made it through safely.

Of course, we knew from the outset that miscarriages, especially in the first 12 weeks, are common. We’d heard the statistics that one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. It doesn’t mean you expect it to happen though, and it certainly doesn’t make it any easier to bear when it does occur. You want it so badly that you just hope everything will be ok. You hope that being fit and healthy will increase the chances that everything will be fine. But it doesn’t work like that.

And because miscarriage is so common, it’s often considered perceived wisdom not to tell anyone about the pregnancy in the early stages. But as Lou rightly pointed out in the days after we’d lost Squidge (this was as far as we’d got in the naming process), when you do lose a baby, you then have two pieces of news to tell people - you did have some great news, but very sadly now you don’t. And there’s a danger at this point that it’s now so difficult to talk about, that you bottle everything up inside. Our closest family knew what had happened, but the isolation brought about by the latest lockdown meant that we just didn’t really have the opportunity to tell many people.

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What followed made it even harder for Lou. We were struggling to find somewhere to live. Whilst the wonderful support from our parents meant that we always had somewhere to stay, we were living out of suitcases which is always unsettling. We tried to rent a number of properties, only to lose out to other applicants. In truth, we just weren’t particularly desirable tenants - two self-employed fitness professionals with pets in the middle of a worldwide pandemic and recession. There were other family worries for Lou too, and these were causing her a great deal of stress. To make matters worse, she suffered a number of complications after the miscarriage. She was in a great deal of pain and the doctors were concerned that the medication she was given afterwards had not worked. It was possible that she had an infection, and may need surgery. The pain left her unable to do the one thing she always used as her go to in times of stress - exercise.

I suppose that’s one of the hardest things for us men to understand about miscarriage. For us, it’s a moment of news. Deeply sad news yes, and a feeling of hurt and loss that can go on for a long time. But for the women who experience it, they have to endure the physical side too. Lou’s pain and discomfort went on for weeks, a constant reminder of the loss of the new life she carried inside her. The child she would have cared for every day for the rest of her life.

The loss, and everything else going on, hurt Lou deeply. She struggled with her mental wellbeing, and is still struggling. I think just the sheer volume of everything that had happened in the previous year weighed down on her shoulders. I found it hard yes, but I had more outlets for my stress - I could exercise every day and I was still able to write and post daily to balance. It’s why I turned to writing daily newsletters before Christmas. It helped me as much as I hope it helped you guys. Lou’s first love is teaching yoga, and without a home of our own and the space to deliver it, plus the pain and fatigue she was experiencing, she felt lost.

I could see the change in her too - that vibrant spark of bright energy that so defines her had dimmed just a little. That in itself places strain on a relationship. It’s hard when the person you love is different all of a sudden. It makes sense. Of course, it does. But that doesn’t make it easy to deal with.

Why am I telling you all of this? you may ask. I guess there are a number of reasons why I wanted to share it with you:

1. We’ve always believed that opening up, talking about things, sharing experiences with others, makes them easier to deal with. Bob Hoskins was definitely right - it is good to talk.

2. Because if sharing our experience helps someone else going through similar circumstances, then it’s absolutely worth it. Even if it’s simply for them just to know they are not alone. That others have experienced similar things. That there may be someone they can turn to in order to express how they are feeling. And that as contrived as it may sound, things do get easier in time.

3. More than anything, I guess I really want to reinforce the point we frequently talk about that everyone struggles with their mental wellbeing at one time or another. It doesn’t make you weak, or a lesser person. I know that we aim to come across in a positive way as often as possible through balance. And we do that because we really believe that you have the power within yourself to improve not only your physical, but your mental wellbeing as well, through the things you do every day, the habits you form. But we don’t want people to assume that life is always perfect, or to see a distorted view through the rose-tinted spectacles of social media.

Yes, we’ll remain positive people because that’s who we are. It’s what we help others try to be. Why? Because we know that no matter how much you wish it, you can’t change the past, you can only learn in time to accept it. Instead, we’ll look to the future. After all, who knows what wonderful adventures lie ahead?

If you’re finding things hard right now, for whatever reason, remember that it’s ok to struggle sometimes. It’s ok not to be ok. And when you are ready, it’s good to open up and talk about it with someone. And if you have close family or friends who are going through hard times - please be patient with them. Try your hardest to listen, to understand, to be there. They don’t always want you to try to fix them. They just want you to be there for them when they need you.

Ten awesome benefits of yoga

If you have been doing yoga for a while, then I don't need to convince you of the benefits a regular practice can give you. For those of you new to yoga, chances are you are familiar with this popular practice, but may be less aware of the multitude of benefits that come with it — here are just a few amazing wins you’ll get from giving it a go!

1) Improved strength. Though weights training is one of the most common ways to get stronger, yoga is actually an incredible workout for building strength and power. During a yoga session, you lift your own body weight in a range of ways; from plank pose to headstand you are constantly supporting yourself and holding your entire body up with a mix of stability, focus and discipline. And when you build strength through yoga, you balance it nicely with flexibility.

2) Improved flexibility. Improved flexibility is one of the most obvious benefits of yoga. During your first class, you may not be able to touch your toes, never mind do a backbend. But if you stick with it, you'll notice a gradual loosening, and over time, seemingly impossible poses will become possible. You'll also probably notice that aches and pains start to disappear. 

3) Improved posture. Yoga is great for improving posture. Your spine craves movement - it’s the only way it gets its nutrients and stays supple. Good posture is all about being aware of your body. And with so many of us slumped over computers most of the day, it's no surprise that our posture has a tendency to suffer resulting in aches and pains. Keeping a good posture throughout the day requires a strong spine and engaged core — regularly practising yoga helps to release tight spots and strengthens core muscles, improving your posture over time. 

4) Better all-round fitness. When thinking of improving your fitness, most of us think of huffing and puffing away at the gym. But cardio and weights are not the only way to work out. Yoga can offer some of the same benefits, but in a varied, peaceful, safe and more holistic way, especially if you are new to exercise. It combines aspects of cardio, strength and functional training all in one, providing great all-round fitness for life, sport and anything you need it for. What more could you ask for? The best part about this workout is that it can be done at your own pace, in your own home.

5) Lower stress and improves mood. If you are feeling a bit low, it's very tempting to want to treat yourself to a packet of biscuits, pizza, a glass of wine or buy yourself a new plant to perk you up. (Lockdown made me do it! Not sure how long I can get away with that excuse.) Before reaching for the biscuits or your bank card, try just 15 minutes of yoga; it can have amazing effect on your mood. Numerous studies have shown that it can decrease the secretion of cortisol, the primary stress hormone, which in the short term leaves you feeling calm and relaxed, and long term improves your overall health. 

6) Better breathing. Breathing techniques are a very important aspect of yoga. Your breath is intimately linked to your state of mind. When your mind is happy and clear, your breath is long and easy; when your mind is bombarded with anxious thoughts, your breath becomes shorter and shallower. When you work consciously with your breath, as you do in yoga breathing techniques, you automatically create an environment inside yourself that is conducive to clear thinking. Your breath is your most powerful and effective tool for clearing your mind in a short amount of time.

7) Releases tension in your mind and body. We all hold tension in the body, sometimes without even being conscious of it. For example, when we are driving and have our shoulders hunched up around our ears, holding onto the steering wheel with a death grip, or scrunching your face when staring at a computer screen. These unconscious habits can lead to chronic tension, muscle fatigue, and soreness in the wrists, arms, shoulders, neck, and face, which can increase stress and worsen your mood. As you practice yoga, you begin to notice where you hold tension and over time you become more conscious of these habits and able to change them for the better. 

8) There is a style of yoga for everyone. You may feel slightly intimidated about yoga, thinking that you need to be able to tie yourself in a pretzel-type knot to be able to even entertain the idea. Well, think again! One of the greatest things about yoga is how versatile it can be; there are so many styles of yoga to choose from, each with varying levels of difficulty and benefits to suit your goal. Whether you’re a beginner looking to experience your first downward dog, you’re after a recovery workout, or you’re looking for an intense strengthening yoga flow, this beneficial practice is open to all abilities, ages and genders.

9) Gives you some much needed time to yourself. If you are anything like me, then you definitely need some time-out from your daily routine and some time to switch off.  Life is very different at the moment and most of us are spending a lot of time at home with our significant others or family, and are possibly craving some alone time. Yoga is the perfect solution! As a practice that you can do at home with little or no equipment, a vast variety of styles to choose from and the fact that you can do anywhere from 10 minutes to 90, it's a wonderful way to escape and have some “you time”. 

10) It's fun and challenging. Whatever you do, don’t take it too seriously, it's only yoga! It’s accessible for everyone and is a wonderful practice that is both enjoyable and challenging; the perfect balance. Yoga strengthens and tones the body whilst calming the mind, but in a way that is also fun, otherwise, we wouldn't do it. Some poses come with higher thrill factors, and when you're in them, you can't help but giggle. Yoga can also help bring out that playful, child-like side of us, which in my opinion, we all need much more of!

Whatever you do just dont put too much pressure on yourself. With my yoga practice, sometimes I feel like a graceful swan, other times I feel like a baby giraffe trying to find its legs, but I'm ok with that because it is something that I love practising!

Why plants make me happy, and how they can do the same for you

As we’ve started to settle into this unexpected break from normal life, we’re spending more time than ever at home and, like most people, longing to get out into the great outdoors whenever possible. I am 100% an outdoor person, given the choice its where I am happiest. There are days when I really struggle with the current situation, but one thing that I am so very grateful for are my houseplants and garden, giving me that much-needed connection with mother nature.

Now more than ever it’s a perfect time to start a little house plant collection. Having a bit of the outdoors indoors has some huge health benefits and of course house plants look amazing too! From the healing powers of the Aloe Vera to the air purifying qualities of the Peace Lily, they can bring a little zen to your home and help you breathe easier too. And whether you’re a plant veteran or a new plant parent, there’s something out there for everyone just waiting to brighten up your day.

Having plants indoors also helps to bring you back to nature, which is definitely a good thing right now. When we are feeling a little low it’s amazing how a stroll in the park or woodland, or even just a little time in your garden can work wonders lifting your spirits. Numerous studies show how even just a small amount of time in nature can help reduce mental fatigue, stress and blood pressure, increase feelings of relaxation and bring a sense of calm. Having a few leafy friends around the home is an easy way to reap the benefits.

It may seem far-fetched that having a few house plants could have such huge effects on your well-being, but just the simple act of tending to your plants, watching them grow new leaves, and the look of the beautiful foliage around the house makes a big difference to your daily life. Mine make me smile every day.

So no matter where you live, whether a tiny apartment or a spacious house, an indoor plant will make a world of difference. A plant can instantly wake up a room, literally breathing life into a space and nature into your home.

Some low-maintenance plants to start you off

Not sure where to start? Here are a few ideas of plants that are easy to look after and hard to kill!

1. Spider plant - Chlorophytum Comosum “vittatum”. Spider plants are one of the easiest plants to look after and can grow very quickly in a variety of conditions. A bi-weekly watering will suffice, natural light is essential but no direct sunlight and this cheerful chappy will be more than happy!

2. Peace Lily - Spathiphyllum. The humble peace lily comes with a NASA approved air purification score of 7.5, which is enough to tell you that this little gem is perfect for fighting indoor air pollutants. Very easy to grow, keep them in the shade and water once a week to keep this plant at peace.

3. Snake plant - Sansevieria Trifasciata. This beauty of a plant is easily recognisable by its sharp, pointy leaves, hence the name. You may also know it as Mother-in-law’s tongue! It’s easy to care for, needs very little attention and can go weeks without water. That makes it perfect for anyone who is a new plant parent. It’s also a great green friend to have in your bedroom as it releases oxygen.

4. Dracaena - there are many different varieties in the Dracaena family and they are a great addition to the home, coming in a range of lovely colours! With long striped leaves growing out of a small stem, some members of this lovely looking plant family can grow up to 12ft tall, perfect if you are going for the indoor jungle look! It needs little sunlight and moderate water to thrive

5. Aloe Vera - A Barbadensis. Aloe Vera’s have so many health benefits, from anti-inflammatory properties to air-purifying qualities, plus antibacterial gel inside the leaves. That makes the Aloe a handy plant to have around'; very easy to keep happy with bright light and moderate watering, just ensure it has proper drainage to thrive. Make sure you don’t overwater it and that its never left in standing water.

Have fun, happy planting and I hope you get as much joy from them as I do.

Lou xx

Things that'll make you smile and bring a little balance to the world

We all need a smile on our faces right now, so here’s some things we’ve come across this week that we’ve loved! Please share any of your favourite stories from the week with everyone too by commenting below.

Somewhere over the rainbow

You can’t walk down a street right now without seeing front windows full of brightly coloured rainbows. It’s a beautiful gesture and it sure helps to brighten up the days. And it’s not just rainbows, apparently people are putting up Christmas lights across the UK too; not sure how the Easter Bunny is going to feel about Santa stepping onto his turf?

Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours

Every day there’s a story or two in the news just like this one, entire streets coming out (in a safe way) to celebrate birthdays for elderly residents and those in lockdown. It’s just like Ramsay Street!

A night at the museum…or a day, or an afternoon

We wouldn’t normally share articles from the Daily Mirror as standard, but this one has some great links to virtual museum tours around. There are plenty more to choose from, search a museum and there’s a good chance you’ll be ‘inside’ having a look around within minutes.

The rise of RAK (Random Acts of Kindness)

Worldwide, people are looking out for each other in a way that we’ve not seen for a long time. Check out these stories from the US and elsewhere.

Stay classy!

Fancy doing something you might not normally consider…for free? How about watching a play at the National Theatre, a night at the opera, or ballet classes for the over 55s?

Virtually anything, virtually

There’s almost nothing you can’t do virtually right now. One of the things that caught are eye was this list of virtual cookery classes, something to tickle your taste buds and learn some new skills whilst staying home is the new going out.

Thanks!

Hopefully this becomes a regular thing, a time where we get to celebrate all the wonderful and often overlooked people who look after us and keep our communities safe and thriving.

Stay safe everyone, be thoughtful, be kind, try to stay balanced xxx

Self-isolating in a balanced way...together

Many of us have been thrust into big changes to our daily routine and habits, and whilst it’s definitely the right thing to do, it can be challenging. It’s hard to get the balance of work and play right, to get into a productive rhythm, to concentrate, to relax and switch off, and for all you wonderful parents out there, all of the above and more with the added challenge of schooling your children now.

What can we do then to make our days productive and at the same time maintain positive mental wellbeing? Here are a few key habits to focus on…

1. Fix your sleep-wake cycle

One of the biggest things you can do to keep a sense of normality is to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Don’t be tempted if you’re stuck at home to squeeze in extra episodes of your favourite box set on Netflix; your body loves routine. It’s called your Circadian Rhythm and when you work with it by doing the same things at the same time each day, your hormones, energy levels, concentration, fitness, immune function and much more get into the groove.

Switch off at the same time each evening and set your alarm for a consistent start to each day.

2. Structure your day

Let’s not stop with sleep and wake times; give your entire day some structure. You can do this in a number of ways; some of you will like to set times for schooling, work, breaks, exercise and chilling. Generally, if things are in the diary, they happen.

If you’re like me you might prefer to make a (realistic) list of tasks to achieve and then be flexible about how you do them. Either way, you’ll have some structure that’ll stop you feeling lost and out of sorts.

Little tip for you - share the structure with someone and report into them on how it goes. Being accountable makes things happen.

3. Be familiar

Building on our routine theme, stick to as many of the timings and systems that you already have in place. You know how strange it feels when you go on holiday and you have no rhythm, then how hard it is to get back into it when you get back? It’ll be the same here unless we stick to our daily patterns - we like being creatures of habit.

That said, if there’s an opportunity to make an improvement to your day that’s always been missing; time for exercise or just time for yourself to relax, now is a wonderful time to grab it with both hands.

4. Assign space

Whether it’s an entire room, or even just a designated chair at the dining table, clearly define the spaces in which you work, eat, rest and play. By doing so you mentally set boundaries and can find it easier to switch on and off when needed. Make sure everyone in the house is aware of these spaces too so that they are always respected.

5. Talk to someone every day

Especially if you’re home alone, set aside time for a phone call or even better Skype or Facetime. We all know how much human contact means to us and it’s been taken away like never before. The Mental Health Foundation says it’s a good way to maintain positive mental health and cope with stressful times, just like these.

6. Separate your week and weekend

There are two reasons I say this - firstly because it’s easy to keep working and not give yourself a break (I’m sure the kids won’t appreciate 24-7 schooling either)! The second is because it’s also easy to slip into weekend habits like pouring yourself a glass of wine or helping yourself to some treats when you’re at home.

Keep the structure and you can help your waistline, your energy levels, your concentration, your productivity and your sleep quality.

Maybe even write your glass of wine or beer into your Friday schedule…or two yes, it’s definitely been one of those weeks.

7. Get outside if you can

If it’s safe to do so, the great outdoors will probably feel greater than ever before right now. Get some space, some fresh air and enjoy the rejuvenating powers of spring. Whether it’s a walk, a jog, a bicycle ride, hopscotch, hula hooping or just taking the dog out, get some sunlight on your face and your mental and physical wellbeing will keep some balance.

Now more than ever, let’s focus on the things we can control, the things we have power over that can leave us feeling fitter, healthier and happier.

Seven reasons why we love books!

It’s World Book Day and as you know, we are absolute book fiends! The feel of the cover, the sound when the pages turn, the joy of getting completely lost inside a written world, there’s so much to shout about so let’s celebrate the wonderful book with a look at the many benefits to be gained by reading.

Relaxation: Books are a wonderful source of escape. Whether you’re climbing through those wardrobe doors into Narnia or summiting Everest with your favourite explorer, they help you to get away from the stresses and strains of life, maybe just for ten minutes or maybe an entire rainy Sunday morning. In 2009, a group of American researchers tested the effects of 30 minutes of either reading, yoga or comedy on stress levels. All three significantly reduced acute stress levels by a similar amount, lowering both heart rate and blood pressure in what is a relatively short period of time; great news for book lovers.

Escape from screens and technology: There’s something so different about reading on paper compared to a screen; maybe it’s the lack of brightness and glare, maybe it’s just the fact that so much of our lives these days is a marriage of our eyes and a luminescent screen. Whatever it is, books help you to feel like you’ve escaped to a bygone era, one where the world moves at a slower pace, everybody knows each other and still says good morning, one where the words ‘Brexit’ and ‘Coronavirus’ sound like the gibberish nonsense of an alien being recently crash-landed just outside the village.

Stories and adventures: books are like keys to the imagination, unlocking doors to incredible and unthought of possibilities, opening your mind to facts, ideas and plots beyond your wildest dreams. Through millennia the human brain has thrived on storytelling to pass on fables of quests, incredible feats, pride in our ancestry and just sheer imagination. For much of that time we had to rely on the spoken word but the book opened up the possibility of sharing those stories and ideas with so many more people. Interestingly, some studies have shown that reading fiction books can help improve a person’s empathy skills, possibly because the book takes the person deep into the thoughts and feelings of another character.

Learning: books teach us so much; non-fiction gives us facts, knowledge, records of people’s experiences and ideas for the future, but fiction can teach us many things too - to think in different ways, about politics, religion, love, art, crime and much more all through a cleverly woven story and all books broaden our language skills, introducing us to phrases, sayings, expressions, other languages, grammar and more besides.

Brain function: I don’t know about you but I always feel so much better able to concentrate through reading; to immerse myself in one thing without interruptions. You don’t get that with technology, you try to read an article but get one of an abundance of different noises to signify a message from a friend, an email offering you the best sale prices on your favourite stuff, or alerts to tell you how many people liked your Facebook post earlier. Only in a book can you truly focus - it’s almost meditative in its quality, your eyes scanning the pages line after line, only occasionally looking away to check how many pages until the chapter ends and wondering when would be best to put it down before it draws you in ever deeper.

Sleep routine: reading an actual book before sleep is our nightly ritual - phones safely stored away in another room, it’s where we can truly start to unwind. And because it’s a habit (and you know how much I love those), our brains know that what comes after reading is sleep. It’s a cue that we use to set up a desired behaviour, a extension of Pavlov’s dogs…words on a page = time to snooze soon. One of the biggest wins of a book over an e-reader is that it doesn’t rely on blue light. The brightness of a screen stimulates the brain into essentially believing it is daytime and can increase levels of stress hormones, delaying sleep.

Pleasure: There’s just sheer joy to be had from reading a book; maybe it’s one you read as a child and reading it again, for yourself or to your children evokes memories of happy times. Maybe it’s the places it takes you; to the ends of the earth, alien worlds, a parallel universe or your favourite town or country, to the middle of nowhere or the centre of the busiest city on Earth. Maybe it’s the enjoyment you get from talking through the twists and turns of the plot with friends, maybe it’s the powerful feelings evoked by the writer; happiness, sadness, fear, passion, intrigue, or maybe it’s just the weight of the book in your hand, the smell of the paper or the fact that it signifies time just for you.

Whatever you love about books, keep reading, they’ll definitely help you to find your balance.

What our house will look like one day!

What's it like living with depression?

Some of you will have read my blog a few months ago about habits to help beat depression. You’ll know that this year I’ve had to face the challenge of living with depression for the first time in my life really. I thought I’d share with you a little about what it’s like so that you might better understand and be able to help others you know who will experience it. Of course, these are just my experiences and everyone is different so always bear that in mind and remember three things…

1) Nobody is defined by an illness, no matter what it is. They are not the illness, they are still themselves, they just happen to have a condition

2) Listen - never presume you know what it’s like, even if you’ve been through it yourself. Each person’s experience is different, so take time to listen to them

3) Ask - find out from them how you can best help and be patient, they won’t always know the answer straight away.

What is it like for me?

• Let’s start with what it’s not - it isn’t a constant thing, it comes and goes, sometimes suddenly, sometimes creeping up over days. Sometimes it lasts a few hours, sometimes it lasts a few days. Many days it isn’t there at all whilst on others it’s ever-present

• It also isn’t feeling sad, down or upset, rather it’s feeling empty, lacking in my usual drive to get on and do things which for me is a weird experience. All of my life has always been so driven thinking about my next work or exercise challenge, pushing myself to the next level. But when I feel like this, it’s a challenge to do more than a few hours of work each day, it exhausts me. Many people I’ve worked with find it hard to get the motivation to exercise when they feel this way; for me it’s the complete opposite - the simplicity of putting one foot in front of the other or jut turning those pedals appeals greatly, it’s the effort of thinking for work that’s the real challenge

• Some people might say ‘but you know how to deal with this as it’s you job to help people, so why don’t you just do the things you should and snap out of it?’ It doesn’t quite work like that; depression has many causes and the habits I talk about in balance are just one part of the process of recovery. They definitely help, I know they do - I exercise, I eat well, I drink very little and I don’t smoke or do drugs and all of these habits make me feel good

• The one area I have struggled with is socialising - it’s a strange contradiction as you know that being around people is good for you, yet the malaise you feel makes it hard for you to get out there. Withdrawal is a common challenge in depression and I’ve not quite worked out how to overcome this one yet. I find myself deliberately waiting in bed until my housemate has gone to work, not wanting to communicate. I think you also sometimes don’t want to be seen when you’re not on top of your game, or maybe that’s just me because I think I feel the pressure to always be energised and positive because of what I do

• That pressure to be ‘Mr Balance’ is a bigger one for me than I’d ever thought it would be. One of the main points of balance is that none of us is perfect, myself included - we all have days where we can’t be bothered to exercise, where we make poorer food choices, where we don’t feel perfectly balanced, but I’ve felt more expectation on me in recent times to be ‘perfect’. As an example, I recently posted a little rant on my personal page as I was just frustrated with the state of the world and with many people - I wasn’t feeling depressed or down that day, it’s normal to have a balance of emotions. We should feel positive, happy and energised at times, whilst at others we might feel anxious, sad or tired; most of the time we’ll probably just sit somewhere in the middle feeling not very much at all. For whatever reason, my whinge led to many well-meaning checks that I was ok - I guess it’s my own fault having created the persona of balance. Funnily enough, it was this that actually made me feel down that day, as if I was expected to be Mother Theresa or Nelson Mandela (and I don’t look like either of them…yet).

I started this short blog piece with some suggestions about things you should do with those challenged by depression, so I’ll finish with some considerations for what not to do:

1) I probably wouldn’t ask if they’re ok - they’re not right now. Instead, treat them as you normally would - talk about football, Love Island, the annoying lady at work, just be how you always are with them

2) Don’t make suggestions - ‘why don’t you…’ or ‘have you tried…’ aren’t always what’s required. As I said at the start, listen to them if and when they want to talk and then ask what would be most helpful for them.

Have a balanced week all (and remember, that means ups, downs and just fair to middling).

Paul

Kindness - the most important habit of all?

Ebenezer Scrooge throws open the window on that snowy Christmas morning and throws the young boy in the street some money to get him the prize turkey from the poulterers shop, plus a generous tip for his time. What Dickens is showing us is that a new man has been born, a kind one. It’s the central theme of the book, the notion that being kind and generous not only makes others happy, but you too in the process. Of course it’s framed in Victorian godliness, with kindness ultimately being the way to redemption.

In more modern times, there’s a wonderful episode of Friends entitled ‘The one where Phoebe hates PBS’, where she tries to prove to Joey that selfless good deeds do exist. What follows are numerous attempts by her to show kindness, but frustratingly for her, she keeps feeling good about it, proving Joey’s point that when being kind to others, there’s always something in it for you too. But hey, that’s ok, it’s what the legendary self-help author Stephen Covey would call ‘Win:Win’.

I’ve spent my adult life searching for the magical formula for what makes us fitter, healthier and happier, my very own grail quest if you will. It led me down a long and winding path that ultimately brought me to the point where I realised it wasn’t one single thing that provides us with wellbeing, rather a broad collection of habits that must be regularly performed in much the same way as plants need regular feeding and watering to thrive.

But…what if there were one habit that may just be more important than all of the others? Partly because it’s such a powerful habit in terms of its ability to boost your mental wellbeing, but also because in turn, those changes in mental wellbeing boost your energy and motivation to perform the other healthy habits. I’ve come to suspect that the habit in question might be kindness.

Kindness isn’t an emotion, it’s an action and that’s why it’s so powerful. Unlike say happiness, which we’re all constantly seeking, which we feel pressure to experience more often, especially in the picture-perfect world of social media. But happiness is a feeling, and feelings can need experiences and actions for them to occur. Much like the recent piece I wrote noting that something makes you happy and that happiness makes you smile, but smiling as an action in itself can also make you happy. You can’t just feel happy, something has to happen to feel an emotion. Kindness is different, it’s an act and the wonderful thing is, that being kind makes you happy.

The Mental Health Foundation Report

Back in 2012, The Mental Health Foundation produced a great little free download for Mental Health Awareness Week. In it, they summarised the effects of doing good and helping others on our wellbeing. In brief, they reported that:

• Stress levels decrease and our immune system is strengthened

• There’s a decrease in negative feelings like anger, aggression and hostility

• Our mood improves, as does self-esteem and confidence

• Happiness levels rise quickly and this brings increased feelings of calm in the long-term

• Social connections improve; we have a greater sense of belonging and therefore feel less isolated

• We feel more optimistic about things

As well as just interacting more with people, these benefits could derive from a sense of perspective gained from helping others less fortunate than yourself, an increased level of support due to reciprocity (others tend to help you more when you help them and over time it appears that you can build a ‘kindness bank’ of memories that helps you to feel good about yourself.

Happy hormones

Numerous chemical changes occur through acts of kindness. Dopamine, serotonin, opioid and oxytocin are all increased in the ‘flood that comes from doing good’. Even witnessing others being kind releases the same substances, but doing it yourself delivers a greater dose. These hormones have a positive impact on mood, increase relaxation and lead to less feelings of depression, but also reduce physical measures like blood pressure and feelings of pain. One study showed that levels of the stress hormone cortisol were 23 per cent lower in people who were more kind, and kindness even appeared to slowed the ageing process.

The research

Here’s a collection of scientific studies and their findings in relation to kindness and wellbeing. Just cos you know, it’s nice to know I’m not just making it up! ;-)

• In one study, students from a university were tasked with performing five random acts of kindness (RAK’s) each week. They could be small like making someone a cup of tea or bigger like giving blood, the choice was theirs. Over six weeks, wellbeing scores improved in students who took part, versus those who didn’t

• Another study of Japanese university students found that happy people were generally kinder than unhappy folk. They also found that happiness increased through simply counting the number of acts of kindness you performed, which in turn made them kinder still and more grateful

• MS (Multiple Sclerosis) sufferers who provided peer support to others with the condition had less symptoms of depression and improved their confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem

• In a study looking at how the brain responded to acts of kinds, MRI scans showed that there was increased activity in the meso-limbic system, an area stimulated when we are rewarded. Helping others appears to give us pleasure sensation, a type of euphoria sometimes referred to as ‘helper’s high’ 

Of course, as with everything, we can have too much of a good thing and other research has noted that too much helping or volunteering can overwhelm us, leaving us feeling stressed and at times outweighing the benefits we derive. This has been referred to as compassion fatigue. Helping others to the extent that we don’t help ourselves enough, maybe financially, by not giving us enough time to do the things important to us, or just to the point where we become overly tired (being helpful takes effort) can all have a negative impact on wellbeing, so it’s important to find the right balance.

What can we do?

Acts of kindness can come in many forms, large to small - picking something up for someone if they drop it, holding a door or letting a car out in traffic can all be easy wins. You might go further and provide mentoring services to someone, raise money for good causes or even do some volunteering.

Apparently, we tend to volunteer more as we get older, maybe because we have more free time or generally a better income which allows us to be more generous, or maybe our values change as we age? Whatever the reason, clearly it’s a helpful thing to do; studies show that people of 55 or over had a 44% lower risk of dying young when they did volunteering.

I’ll leave you with two quotes from very different people, but both equally powerful.

“We cannot do great things on this earth, only small things with great love. ”

— Mother Theresa

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give. ”

— Winston Churchill

Be kind,

Paul

Have a little.....................………patience

The stripes would fill the screen, constantly changing colour, accompanied by the noise; a mix of screeching, beeping and static, like some sort of futuristic rave. There were no drugs involved here, just the simple insertion of a cassette tape into the Spectrum ZX. The hope was that at some point in the future, it would finish loading and I’d get to enjoy the modern wonder that was the home computer game. Sadly, this didn’t always happen; with personal computers in their infancy, the error screen (like the one above) was all too common. When this happened, my mom would simply say ‘never mind, you’ll have to play it tomorrow instead.’

And this way I learned the art of patience. Fast forward 30 years and that art is all but lost. The mobile phone, not much larger than a credit card, has 15 times more memory than the Spectrum, is thousands of times quicker and more powerful, and with the advent of the internet, means that almost anything is available in seconds at the touch of a button. Where shall we eat later? Who played that character in Lord of the Rings? When can I get that delivered by? Oh, it’ll be here this afternoon.

We live in an instant world and it’s reflected in our behaviours and attitudes. We’re frustrated when we see the dreaded buffering symbol, when the image pauses, even briefly, whilst streaming a video. We send texts, emails and WhatsApp messages and don’t feel it’s unreasonable to expect an instant reply. Our phones tell us when a message has been read and when someone is online, making us irritated when the person appears to be ignoring us. We have no idea of course what they might be up to at that moment; they could be working, spending time with their family, delivering a baby by the side of the road or saving the planet, but we’re free so they should be too.

But wait, there’s power in patience

Take That told us to have a little, Yoda informed Luke that he must work on it and Guinness said that if we could wait for just under two minutes, good things would come. Science suggests they may well be right.

In 2007, Sarah Schnitker and Robert Emmons showed that people who demonstrated more patience tended to experience less depression and negative emotions, possibly because they could cope better in times of stress. The same authors showed in a separate study that people who demonstrate more patience towards others were more hopeful and satisfied with their lives. Those who get less stressed by traffic jams, queuing and malfunctioning technology also report better mental wellbeing in general.

In a 2012 study, patient people reported putting in more effort and making more progress towards important life goals, and it’s even been linked to less incidents of ill health; coughs and colds, ulcers, headaches, acne and poor sleep. At a physiological level, this may be because they have a better balance in their autonomic nervous system. One half is made up of the well-known, ‘fight or flight’ response, known more technically as your sympathetic nervous system and responsible for the increase in hormones like adrenaline during times of stress. This should be balanced by the parasympathetic nervous branch, your ‘rest and digest’ system, that releases hormones like melatonin to help you sleep, repair and recover. When these systems are not well balanced and you’re spending more time on your accelerator and less on the brake, you’re more likely to suffer physical and mental health issues.

Worth the wait

Back to my Spectrum ZX; I remember the joy and excitement when the game had finally loaded. It was extra special because I’d had to wait for it and because there was always that chance that I wouldn’t get to play Space Invaders or Manic Miner. When you think about it, there are countless wonderful examples of where patience is just better…

• Opening your Christmas or birthday presents without already knowing what they are

• That feeling when the ketchup finally starts to drip out of the bottle and onto your plate, even though the palm of your hand is a little sore from all the tapping

• When you counted the cash in your money box and you were finally able to afford the toy/sweets you so desperately wanted

• Waiting for a letter from your friend in response to the one you sent them ages ago

• The first leaves growing on the plant you’ve been caring for from a seed

• The day you notice those muscles poking through underneath your skin, a little more defined than before for sure, or when you get up that hill without stopping and it takes you by surprise.

What about you? Can you think of things that were just more enjoyable when you’d waited?

Getting fitter and healthier requires plenty of patience, firstly to get there, and secondly to keep it up. If you haven’t been active for a while, changes can happen relatively quickly to begin with, but the fitter you are the slower this change becomes and you’ll have to test those Jedi mind powers to the max. Always remember, your health is the sum of your most frequent, recent habits. You can’t get fitter and then just stop, it doesn’t work like that. Your health, fitness and wellbeing is a lifelong quest and the going isn’t always easy, patience is a must.

How do you stay patient?

In his brilliant book, Misbehaving, Richard Thaler discusses the infamous ‘Marshmallow Test’. In a series of scientific studies, children were offered either one marshmallow (or cookie) now, or they could have three if they waited for 15 minutes. Agonisingly, they were then left alone in the room with the single sugary treat calling to them, tempting them to scoff it down. And of course, many did. Thaler points out that if they’d been offered one cookie at 3pm tomorrow, or three at 3:15, they’d have no problem in waiting the extra quarter of an hour. It’s the immediacy of it that makes it challenging; they can have it NOW…so they do.

The human brain isn’t particularly good at waiting when it can get instant gratification and that’s an important message. It means that if there’s an option to eat all the sugary treats straight away, you probably will. Willpower works on making yourself feel bad for wanting to eat it all and guilt isn’t always the best motivator. Thaler gives the example of a man trapped on a desert island after a plane crash, with only ten energy bars for sustenance. In an ideal world he says, he’d have ten safes each locked and set to a timer, meaning only one bar would be released each day. That’s not the case on a desert island though, so he has to use willpower to restrict himself to just one each day, reminding himself about the long-term benefits of doing so, But our brains aren’t wired that way; studies where people are offered a set amount of money now, say £100, or £120 in a month’s time, often find that people take what’s on offer straight away.

What does this mean for you?

• If you buy lots of sweets, biscuits or crisps, you’ll probably eat them all more quickly than if you just bought one smaller portion at a time

• You have to set up the environment to make it less convenient for you to eat too much or poorly - portion things out into individual containers or even place them in different cupboards. Make it less simple to over consume. As well as being impatient, we’re also lazy. Studies have shown we’ll eat less peanuts if we have to shell them, so buying things like chocolates in individual wrappers will likely mean we eat less.

• When it comes to wanting to achieve big goals quickly, our impatience will often lead us to seek quick fixes, even when we know they’re not healthy and they probably won’t last.

Utilise the psychological tools I talk about so frequently, split the big goal down into smaller chunks and focus only on that. Watch how professional sportspeople talk about taking one game, round or stage at a time. They want the big prize, but they know that patience is the way to get it.

Involve someone else to assist you. Give them your portions of food treats to look after and ration out for you, or report your daily exercise or eating/drinking to them.

Put up visual prompts to remind you what you’re working towards. Bring it back to the forefront of your mind at every opportunity, or else it’ll fall somewhere down the pecking order, likely behind that big glass of wine.

And in life in general, next time you can’t remember what film that guy was in, leave your phone in your pocket and stay in the present enjoying the conversation with your friend or partner. When you’re stuck in traffic, take a breath, put a song on the radio, relax and remember that good things come to those who wait.

Habits to help beat depression

I’ve given many sessions over the years on mental health and wellbeing; it’s part of the courses I teach to Personal Trainers and I’m often asked to talk on the topic in workplaces too. I’ve written articles on it and done numerous pieces on social media, and in all of them, I’ve always argued that the statistic that 1 in 4 of us suffer mental health issues is just plain wrong. It’s undeniably 4 in 4; we all face challenges at some point or another, we don’t have or not have mental health problems, they simply slide up and down a scale. Sometimes we cope with them comfortably, at other times it’s harder.

In recent times, I’ve experienced what it’s like to be much further along that scale, challenged to the point that on some days it has gotten the better of me and I’ve felt unable to defeat it. Other days haven’t been so bad, and some have started well and got harder or started badly and become easier. I guess that’s the thing about it; the scale can move constantly.

What I have had to do though is to use my resources, the knowledge I have about things that might just help me move to a better place on the scale and bit by bit, I’ve found myself moving in the right direction again, back towards a better balance. Here are some of those things that have worked for me…

1) Do something small

One of the most powerful things about depression is its ability to leave you feeling flat, paralysed, unable to do anything. Even the most mundane of tasks can seem like a challenge and you can experience whole days unable to get anything done.

At this point, setting big, challenging goals might not be the best idea as they’ll often take sustained effort and it’s easy to lose motivation along the way, even when you manage to have a good day or even a good few days. Try instead using micro-goals, tiny stepping stone challenges you can set yourself to provide a sense of achievement. The great thing about achieving things, however small, is that your brain recognises it and fires off pleasure-giving chemicals as a reward. That’s why when people make lists, they put things on they’ve already done so they can tick them off straight away and get the feel-good factor response!

This reminded me of the ‘making your bed’ speech from the US Navy Admiral that went viral in recent times. His point is very clear, start small and take it one step at a time. If you have five minutes and you’ve never seen it, I’ve included it below for you. It’s well worth a watch.

2) Move

For people with mild to moderate depression the NHS says that exercise is known to have definite benefits. Studies suggest that the benefits, in particular of cardiovascular exercise, are comparable to medications or talking therapies. Depression often goes hand in hand with fatigue, but by using low-to moderate intensity exercise that you enjoy, you can actually increase your energy levels. Strange isn’t it? You’d assume that if you’re tired, exercise would only exacerbate this, but as long as it’s kept to a sensible level, it has the opposite effect.

There’s no need to worry about exactly what to do or how much to begin with, just pick something; it could be walking, dancing, jogging, swimming, yoga, weightlifting, gardening or anything else you enjoy. Aim to gradually build to up towards the 150-minutes per week of moderate intensity exercise recommended (if you work harder, every minute done counts double towards this target).

3) Even better, move outside

• Two thirds of volunteers for the Wildlife Trust, given tasks like helping to dig ditches or make bird tables, reported improved mental wellbeing within six weeks

• A Norwegian study of 30,000 participants found that just 1-2 hours movement outdoors each week could prevent depression

• In one study of those with depression, a short outdoor walk fared much better than an indoor session on an exercise bike, with participants larger reductions in depression and fatigue

• Exercising in green spaces has been shown to reduce the perceived difficulty of the exercise, increase people’s perception of their own health, leads to lower blood pressure after the workout when compared to exercise in urban environments, and also decrease stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol post-session too.

• Some studies have shown increased rates of depression in the darker months of the year and shown strong correlations between vitamin D levels and the ability to predict episodes of depression. Exposure to sunlight also affects hormone levels, your body’s ability to utilise energy stores, cell function, blood flow and your body clock, all of which can impact energy levels and mood

• Streams, rivers, lakes and the sea can also boost your mood. A study in Hong Kong showed that people who spent more time by natural water reported greater wellbeing and had a lower risk of depression. A review of studies into the subject identified 35 others that backed up these findings, consistently showing positive mental health and stress-reducing effects

Basically, my point is, get outside into natural light where there are trees, plants and water. Your body, and your mind love it!

4) Spend time with friends

When you’re feeling low, it’s common to withdraw. A 2012 study of 100 adults found that 20% had no contact with friends, 33% never interacted with their neighbours, 35% lived alone and 50% never attended social groups. The study supported these people to become more socially active through things like going to see a film, a play, a concert, visiting museums or simply going out for a coffee or a bite to eat. ALL of the 100 participants reported feeling better about themselves, having more confidence and experiencing less symptoms of depression.

People are ok, most of them anyway! ;-)

5) Choose healthier food and drinks whenever you can

A wide range of foods and drinks have been linked to depression, for better and worse. Things that might be helpful to increase include:

• Plant foods - fruit, vegetables, beans, legumes, herbs and spices (aim for your 5-a-day)

• Nuts/seeds - 1-2 handfuls per day

• Oily fish - 1-2 portions per week

• Wholegrains like unrefined rice and other grains, and lean proteins like chicken, turkey, eggs, yoghurt and soya produce - make these a staple part of most meals.

Minimise the more processed foods although there’s never a need to cut these out completely, it’s all about balance remember.

Summary

There are a range of habits that can help prevent or improve symptoms of depression. You can take actions that over time can lead you to a better place. Start small, remember that progress isn’t always linear, sometimes we have better days, sometimes worse, but that just the feeling of doing something can in itself boost your sense of confidence , mood and self-worth.

A balanced approach to IT rage

Technology is wonderful, but these days we have so much if it and use it so often, that occasionally it won’t work as well as we want it to. I can rarely go a week without some sort of issue with computer, phone, iPad or watch and it leaves me feeling like IT is s*IT. It also leaves me feeling frustrated, stressed and angry, so I thought I’d share with you a few ways that we can all manage our IT rage.

1) First of all, try not to do this.

It’s probably going to be a very costly way of getting your stress levels down.

2) What about swearing and shouting?

There are mixed theories on this. One side of the argument suggests that it’s better to let your anger out, but a lot of recent work suggests that it can in fact make anger a learned behaviour, the way you respond when something stressful happens. I’ll be honest, this was my common response when my laptop crashed or phone froze and I lost a big piece of work I’d been doing in the process. Hearing me go nuts at my computer however was not a very pleasant thing for Vicky to experience and so I’ve been working on some alternative solutions.

3) Walk away

If your computer has frozen or isn’t doing what it should, get up and make yourself a cup of tea (a good brew solves plenty of problems), do another task or even go for a short walk. Moderate exercise is great for stress management, especially if you get outside as it can burn off some of the excess adrenaline you’ve built up and being in natural surroundings is known to relax you and improve your mood. When you come back, the problem may or may not have resolved itself, but even if it hasn’t, you’ll find the urge to break the Laptop Shot-put world record may have subsided.

4) Re-boot

In a similar vein to walking away, shutting down and re-starting can have a positive effect. It’s the golden solution to many IT problems anyway, but it also just allows you a pause to calm down a little.

5) Plan ahead

One of the best things I’ve done to make IT failures less stressful is to put in place a series of back-ups to prevent it being a problem. This ranges from more technological solutions like storing back-ups of all files in the mysterious and ethereal ‘cloud’, changing settings to ensure documents are auto-saved as frequently as possible and can be restored and updating software more often, to more simple techniques like copying text from any post I’m about to make to Facebook in case it freezes and I lose it. Even if it does go wrong, it then doesn’t take much to recover or re-do what I was working on.

6) Try some progressive relaxation

Starting at your shoulders, tense them as much as you can for a couple of seconds, then breathe out slowly and focus on relaxing them as you do so. Work down your body, one muscle group at a time; spend a few minutes doing this and you’ll be feeling calmer in no time.

7) Laugh

Watch or listen to a few minutes of comedy; the hormones released can help to leave you feeling better already. Alternately, joke to a family member, friend or colleague about the situation, it may help to take the tension out of the situation.

8) Reframe

More than anything, what we can all probably do better these days is realise that more often that not it just isn’t the end of the world. We can re-do whatever we were working on, we can sometimes recover lost files and it often spurs us into doing something to prevent it happening again in future or trying a different approach. Frame it as learning rather than an annoyance and you may find it helpful instead.

Do any one of these and you’re on the way to slightly better balance.

Paul :-)

Why we ALL have mental health problems...and what we can do about it

Mental wellbeing - more grey than black and white

According to recent statistics, one in four people in the UK experiences mental health problems, or rather, one in four of us gets diagnosed with mental health problems. What if though, WE ALL suffered from mental health issues?

In times gone by, you'd often hear talk of 'mental illness' and the simplified notion was that you were mentally ill or not. In reality, it's just not that simple. In the same way that physical health sits on a sliding scale, with excellent at one end and well, to put it bluntly, at death's door at the other, mental wellbeing can also be imagined on a continuum. It can fluctuate towards better or worse mental health and wellbeing on a weekly, daily and even hourly basis. And it doesn't matter who you are or what you do, where you live or how much money you earn, it does affect you.

There are of course differences between us, with some more at risk of sliding the wrong way along the scale due to genetic influences and uncontrollable life circumstances, but there are also many actions most definitely within your control that affect where you are on the continuum at any one time. It is these behaviours that form the focus of this blog piece and that are the target when I work with individual clients or when helping larger number of people through employee wellbeing initiatives. 

A few principles of mental wellbeing

When you think of mental health challenges, you might often conjure up words like stress, depression and anxiety. You may imagine these to be bad, and they certainly can be, but that's not always the case. Stress can be very good; imagine a lion escapes from the local zoo and appears on your driveway. The stress response that enables you to quickly run inside and shut the door is very helpful! Equally, exercise is a stress on your body; you know the saying 'no pain, no gain' or as I prefer to say, 'no challenge, no change', meaning that you only get fitter when you put your body under stress. Too little stress from exercise and you become unfit and unhealthy, too much and again you can get problems. It's all about finding the right balance for you. Depression and anxiety can have their place too; it's normal to grieve for a lost loved one and part of the healing process, and it's absolutely fine to be anxious about a big exam or interview, in fact science is quite clear that, up to a point it raises performance. 

The problems occur when the stress, anxiety or depression become too much, too severe and also when they go on continuously. Mental wellbeing is present when you have a healthy balance of emotions but if the balance is tipped too far, we can have issues. One of the big difficulties about recognising mental health problems is that for each of us, these issues can be different. This definition of stress by Hans Selye, a scientist famous for his work in this area in the mid-20th century, helps to explain this:

"Stress is the non-specific response of an individual to any demand for change."

What he was saying is that stress could be caused by a multitude of things, basically anything that calls for adaptation from a person. A new form to fill in at work, a house move, changes in job circumstances, a closed road meaning you must drive somewhere unknown or any other number of stressors. 

He was also saying that the way in which we all respond to this stress is unique. There might be a physical response like increased heart rate, sweating or trembling, or a mental response and for some that stress may bring about good changes whilst for others it might cause issues. 

This is what makes mental health problems so hard to recognise and understand. When you get stressed you may lose your appetite, whilst another may comfort eat. One might withdraw from their social circle whilst another might go out and party hard. One person may present with physical symptoms like poor skin or a raised blood pressure, whilst another may suffer psychologically. Always bear these two points in mind when thinking about mental health and wellbeing:

1) What leads to stress, depression or anxiety for one person may not for another.  

The triggers for each individual are unique; it doesn't mean they are weak or 'that's just them', it's a complex interplay of genetics, previous experiences and all of the things that are going on in someone's life at any one time. I've heard a number of times in a work setting, 'How can they be signed off with stress? I do the same job as them and I'm fine.' It simply doesn't work like that.

2) The unique response of each individual to mental health pressures can make them hard to recognise.

It's generally impossible to look at someone and see a mental health problem. Again I've heard lines like 'Well they didn't look/seem ill to me' when referring to colleagues signed off work, but as we've seen above, how the issue shows itself can differ from person to person and over time. Doctors will weigh up all of the signs and symptoms when making a diagnosis; sleep patterns, energy levels, mood, behavioural changes, appetite, thought processes and physical checks of heart rate and blood pressure are just a few of the areas that are factored in.

Load and resilience

Your mental health and wellbeing can be influenced by two major factors; firstly, how much load or stress you are faced with at any one time. In the picture above, this is represented by the jug of water...the more that gets poured in the greater the challenge for you. The second is your ability to cope with these challenges, known as your resilience, represented by the glass. If you reach the point where you've poured more in than your glass can cope with, you overflow and, just like the water leaking over the sides of the glass, it can head in any direction, or in other words, it can represent itself in any number of ways unique to you.

This means there are two things you can do to stay well balanced with our mental wellbeing...

1) Pour less in (decrease the load) 

It's important that you're aware of just how much you have going on and ensure that you're never pouring so many challenges in that you start to overflow. That's easier said than done these days with lives business than they've ever been and the constant bombardment of tasks and information that come out us in all aspects of life. In the 'What can you do?' section below, you'll find a range of suggestions to help you lighten then load.

2) Work on your glass (increase your resilience) 

Alongside pouring less in, you can also work on coping better with what comes your way. This means upgrading your glass from a shot glass to a tumbler or even better still, a pint glass (don't race down the pub just yet)! There are many things you can do to help both your body and mind cope better with the pressures you face. You can also learn ways to tip a little of what's being poured in back out again. This keeps you from overflowing and helps you stay balanced.

What can you do?

Pouring less in - just being aware of the volume of stuff you have going on is a good start. Sometimes you'll find that you only notice you have too much going on when it's already overloaded you and you're struggling mentally or physically as a result. Being consciously aware of how much is going on is a great place to start. Remember too that even things that are enjoyable still count as load. For example, you know how much I love exercise and sometimes I forget that doing a long run or bike ride is still load being poured into my glass. I'll then try to also do loads of work on the garden, catch up on all my emails, write a new chapter of my next book, get my accounts up-to-date and catch up with friends. Then after all that, I'll wonder why I'm feeling exhausted! 

You have to learn some important lessons to get this bit right; how to prioritise some things at the expense of others and also, often, how to say no. You'll know how much you can pour in before you start to feel the effects, so have it in the forefront of your mind when you're planning the days and weeks ahead. This applies both to work and life; here's a little table going you some examples of how you might prevent overload in both situations.

Making your glass bigger and tipping some back out - there are a myriad of tools you can use to do this and for simplicity, I divide them into four categories:

1. Psychological

2. Physical

3. Social

4. Recreational

Psychological tools are any that help to alter your mindset. This might include breathing techniques, meditation, mindfulness, counselling or learning to change your inner dialogue to be more helpful. 

Physical tools include all the things that help your body to cope better and be physically as well as mentally healthier; exercise, better diet, getting more sleep and reducing or quitting smoking and alcohol.

Social tools involve getting help from others. Generally, people are awesome and when it comes to mental health, being sociable is proven to make a difference. How you achieve this can vary from talking about your challenges to joining a club, helping someone else or doing something for a good cause. 

Recreational tools are all the things you can do for enjoyment like your hobbies, listening to music, reading books, playing games, learning and spending time with your pets (I often include this last one in with the social tools because pets are people too right?). All are known to have a positive impact on your mood and send you the right way along the continuum towards better mental health.

Here's a nice little summary of all of them for those of you who prefer pictures to words:

There is without a doubt a crossover between these four areas; for example you might join a Quidditch team...yes you really can do that! That will give you some exercise, time with friends and you get to play a game which all help to distract you from the stresses of daily life and boost your mental wellbeing. The categories are simply meant to guide you towards the many possible tools you already have at your fingertips that can help you find more balance.

All of these tools work through a range of powerful mechanisms, including:

• Altering the levels of feel-good chemicals in your brain that help to make you feel better

• Distracting you from the pressures of daily life

• Enabling you to escape, take a step back and maybe evaluate things in a different way

• Getting help; as the saying goes...'a problem shared is a problem halved'

• Boosting your self-image, self-worth and self-confidence

Key considerations

• There are lots of things you can do to improve your mental wellbeing. You do not have to do them all in one go; just one small change will make a difference and it really doesn't matter what you decide to do. Just pick something that feels right and that you think you'll be able to stick to. No matter if it doesn't work, pick something else and go again.

• Health comes when behaviours are repeated consistently over time. Try to do it just for a day at first, then when you've nailed that, aim for a week, then another week and so on until it's just a normal part of everyday life.

• Managing your mental wellbeing is a constant journey. There is a principle in exercise known as reversibility. This is best described by the phrase 'if you don't use it, you lose it'. You know this well from fitness regimes and diets. If you stop doing your running after that 10k race you lose fitness; if you give up the diet you were following the weight can come back. The same principle applies to mental wellbeing too. If you stop practising the behaviours that help you to manage how you feel, you stop getting the benefits. Life will inevitably throw in challenges that mean some days and weeks aren't as good as others but the great news is, you can always start doing the right things again and get yourself back to balance.

Please do get involved in the conversation below. What do you do that helps you balance your mental health and wellbeing? What tips would you offer others? Anything you'd like to share that helps people to be fitter, healthier and happier.

Thanks, 

Paul

This blog was adapted from a seminar I gave recently for Origin Workspace, an exciting new co-working and start-up support business based in Bristol. You can find out more about them here.

If you'd like to make sure you never miss a new balance blog, you can sign up to our newsletter for automatic updates and much more help to you get fitter, healthier and happier HERE.

Have we lost our balance when it comes to technology?

The walk home from school was a short one, about 10-15 minutes, and even less if I ran back which I often did. If it was summertime and still light in the evenings, I’d disappear off to play football with my mates from Atcham Close and the surrounding streets. You could always be guaranteed of good numbers for a game, often way too many leading to a good pile of jumpers for goalposts. Occasionally we’d mix it up with ‘acky 123’ (a bit like tig/tag) or ‘tracking’, both great childhood games, or exploring on our bikes and climbing trees. It mattered little if it rained; you just got wet. 

It was only in the very worst weather and during the darker months that we needed to occupy our time indoors. And that’s where the legendary Spectrum ZX came in to its own…well, sometimes. Games were all on cassette tapes and took an age to load, I’m not sure exactly how long as time seems vastly different when you’re a child, but in my mind, it seemed to take 20 minutes or more, watching the multi-coloured stripes roll across the screen, changing constantly like some sort of psychedelic art display. Quite often, towards the end of the lengthy loading process it would error, and my mom would say ‘never mind, it’ll have to wait until tomorrow’. The disappointment was short-lived as it normally meant it was time for tea!

Computers at school were limited to Acorns, where we’d be given a sheet of commands to type in that would draw shapes on the screen. Outside of these ‘high-tech’ experiences, there was very little interaction with technology, except the original Atari and Sega video games in the arcades of Britain’s seaside resorts. They were fun but to be honest, we always ended up veering back towards the 2p slot machines, reserved these days purely for contestants on the decidedly average ITV gameshow, Tipping Point.

Family holidays were instead spent walking, playing any number of sports, exploring castles, on the beach or if confined indoors again because of the less than reliable British Summertime, playing cards, board games, reading books or watching one of four TV channels.

Today's tech-filled world

Fast forward to 2018 and how different the world has become in just one generation. I suppose every generation says that, but I wonder how our technology legacy is affecting the physical and mental health and wellbeing of the current generation and those to come? 

Don’t get me wrong; there are many wonderful things that technology has brought for society. The ability to keep in touch at a distance, business communications, medical advances, environmental benefits from the reduced need for paper, and assisting in running our increasingly busy lives. In fact, I recently read that 90 per cent of the jobs we have today didn’t even exist 30 years ago, largely because they’re so heavily reliant on new technologies, which must be good for the economy right? I do wonder though if we haven’t lost our balance in recent times. Technology once felt like it helped in our daily lives; now it feels like it runs them.

Take a recent train journey home I was making from Birmingham as an example. I’d been teaching a Personal Trainer course and had walked to Fiveways station to jump on the train, avoiding the busier New Street. Stood on the platform I looked across at those waiting to head in the opposite direction and it is not an exaggeration to say that every single one of the roughly thirty people stood there were looking down at their phone screens. I considered the irony of pulling out my own phone to photograph the scene and decided against it. Now I doubt very much, that in times gone by, this group would be merrily chatting away to the strangers they stood next to; they’d likely have had their heads buried in a book or newspaper instead, but it seemed to me as if we’d lost touch with our surroundings and our ability to sometimes just stand and take in the moment.

Technology, particularly our phones, is often credited with bringing us together, helping us live more sociable lives. We certainly can keep in touch with more people, or rather we can ogle the filtered versions of each other’s daily lives presented in the form of posts, photos and videos on ‘Twittergrambook’. 

I’m a user myself, a self-confessed addict. Social Media is a huge part of my business and the main way I seek to reach and help people. Most likely you’re reading this because you clicked the link from the Facebook page so I’m certainly not preaching going off the grid completely. I just wonder if we’ve lost our balance a little; if we could spend more time disconnected. I know I certainly could. Did we once have better balance and better relationships with the fewer people we kept in touch through the ancient arts of letter writing and telephone calls? 

The effort of writing a letter, card or postcard, scripting it, locating an envelope if needed, and back in the day licking the stamp, then making time to post it represents a huge amount of thoughtfulness on the part of the sender. Once sent you were content and certainly didn’t expect an immediate response; you simply got on with life and then one day had a pleasant surprise when you received a reply.

We live in an instant world. On a given day I’ll have text messages, emails, voicemails and Facebook messages all piling up, awaiting my reply. Even if the sender doesn’t intend it, you feel pressure to respond quickly, as if you’re being rude by not doing so. At its worst points, this has led me to check my phone almost constantly, concerned that I’ve missed a message from someone, and I’ve even suffered from ‘Ghost Phone’, that sensation that your mobile is vibrating in your pocket with a message from someone, when in fact it hasn’t. 

Vicky has rightly admonished me on more than one occasion for checking my phone for news, football scores or messages whilst we’re out and about, at dinner or on holiday. It has become so endemic that we have a name for it; absent presence. It means we’re there in body, but our mind is away in our digital world. Take this current TV ad from Tesco mobile which states ‘Your phone is more than just your phone…it’s kind of your life.’

‘So what?’ you may ask. Well, overuse of technology can lead to a wide range of issues:

 

Illness and injury

• Postural, muscular and joint problems. Spending too much time sat at a desk can lead to tight hamstrings, hips and shoulders, pulling you out of your natural alignment and creating pain and injuries everywhere from head to toe. Overuse of a phone and other handheld devices has led to the creation of a whole range of new injury terms including a few years ago ‘Blackberry thumb’ and more recently ‘Text Neck’.

• It’s not just your musculoskeletal system that can be impacted; your eyes can too. Computer Vision Syndrome covers a range of eye issues that are caused by too much screen time, with various studies reporting than between 50 and 90 per cent of us have been affected.

• In the news this very week has been the potential link between mobile phones and brain tumours. At present the stance of major organisations such as Cancer Research UK and the International Agency for Research on Cancer (part of the World Health Organization) say that there is no clear evidence of a link between phones and cancers, but that more research is needed for a definitive answer to be given.

Mental health

It’s not just physical ailments we need to be wary of when trying to find the right balance, there are mental health considerations too:

• Loneliness and self-esteem issues have both been linked to the use of Social Media, but the picture is complex. Some studies show increased issues with greater use of Social media sites, whilst others show the opposite. The real answer as always likely lies somewhere in the middle, in finding the balance right for the individual. Studies have suggested that viewing others social media whilst not getting involved yourself, known as ‘social snacking’ may cause feelings of loneliness to be exaggerated afterwards, whilst comparing yourself with others can affect self-esteem.

Comparing yourself to others is not a new phenomenon and certainly not exclusive to social media. Before the popularity of YouTube and Instagram, it was magazines who courted much of the attention for airbrushing celebrities and publishing unrealistic lifestyles that youngsters tried but failed to copy. Wanting to be like others has always been an issue creating envy and self-esteem issues, technology now just heightens it through its ability to reach almost the entire planet.

It’s not all bad though. Research in elderly subjects has suggested that having contact with others through social media helped to lessen feelings of loneliness and very recent studies have suggested taking a smiley selfie can boost mood and confidence.

• There’s no off-switch. Phones and computers so allow us to connect with others, to take our work out with us wherever we are and to keep up with the latest news around the world, that can also mean we never truly switch off. It’s no coincidence that the boom in technology has also seen a growth in techniques like Mindfulness. Our brains are deluged with so much information on a daily basis that we desire, and need, the ability to shut down and process it all.

• Read about any ancient culture, tribe or civilisation and one of the most common themes is an awareness of your own mind and body, and an inter-connectedness with nature. Yoga, tai chi, any number of martial arts, the practices of Shaman and wise tribal elders the world over are all evidence of a once strong connection between people and the nature which surrounded them. Just one example of how this has changed in modern times is the map. Once we studied these on pieces of paper, planned our routes and used them to guide us along when needed. This progressed to the printing of multiple pages of written instructions in the late 90s and early 2000s from the AA or RAC, where you’d sometimes forget how many roundabouts you’d gone straight over at and have to stop (or not) whilst you attempted to count them on the page to work out where you are. Today we don’t even bother to navigate at all; in cars we type in our destination and are told where to go, completely oblivious to our surroundings, whilst on foot we run the risk of ‘text neck’ and head-on collisions with others as we focus on the blue dot as it moves around the map.

• Anger. This is one I definitely need to work on. The pace at which technology has developed has left many of us behind, meaning what we think it can do versus what we're capable of making it do don't always match up. Add to that the fact that technology is made by humans and we should realise it's as prone to error as anything else, yet when we can't get it to work it can lead to 'tech-rage'. As with all stresses, this stems from a lack of control and is a response to just how much we rely on technology to live our daily lives.

• Safety and security. You can't have escaped the news headlines of recent times about the improper use of our personal data. Add this to online bullying, trolling, hacking and cyber-crime and there's a strong movement towards getting our identities offline for fear of the above. The pressure caused by recent events has led to changes for the better but many people are still fearful of the consequences of their online presence.

Fitness and Energy expenditure

Technology has affected our exercising too. When I started working in gyms I’d often notice people moving incredibly slowly or sometimes even stopping on the cardiovascular machines and standing stock still whilst starting at the screen, before starting again at a very laboured pace. I’d go over to chat and discover that the machine was telling them their heart rate was too high and they were moving out of the legendary fat-burning zone. I’d ask how they were feeling and they’d always reply to say they felt fine, not in the slightest bit breathless at all and I’d try my best to get them to ignore the data and go on how they felt, working to a point where they were warm and slightly breathless.

More recently I’ve become a slave to fitness devices, evidenced by the Garmin on my left wrist and the Fitbit on my right. The Garmin is fancy and suggests how many hours of recovery I need before I can exercise again. Whilst useful, I know my own body and can disagree with Mr Garmin’s suggestions not to exercise for the next three days. I do however make use of the resting heart rate tool, knowing full well that when this is elevated by a few beats I’m a bit tired and if five beats more than normal, it’s definitely time to ease back. Again, it’s all about striking the right balance.

The increasingly easy nature of our lives is most certainly connected to a decrease in health and fitness and increase in waist sizes across the planet. Gone are the days of walking miles to work in a job that involved hard graft and carrying our shopping home from the supermarket. One wonderful childhood memory I have is of Saturday mornings when I’d visit my nan and grandad. Their back garden had a gate that led right out onto the canal and from there we could walk along to the local shops, my nan with her trusty black leather and tartan trolley in tow, me racing along with the dog, stock up on supplies and make our way back in time for Grandstand.

Today it’s different. Technology allows us to reduce calorie burn at every opportunity. We can order almost anything online and have it delivered to the door, drive to and from work and spend the whole day sat down, enjoy hobbies that involve nothing more than flicking our thumbs around a game control and even our cars these days save us the bother of turning on lights, windscreen wipers or lifting the handbrake. 

We have learned to be lazy. Survival of the fittest has become more survival of the tech-savvy, or has it? All of those little calories we would previously have burned add up over weeks and months to weight gain and precede further health issues. Muscles become weakened and waste away, or to give it the fancy term, atrophy due to the lack of challenge they receive. This includes the most important muscle of all, your heart.

How can you find a balance?

Whilst my intention is not to paint a picture of some sort of dystopian science fiction future Earth where technology has taken over, it is to present an argument that we might need to make some changes and that these involve rediscovering things from times gone by, simpler forms of living. Here are my top tips for a balanced lifestyle when it comes to technology. I shall be working hard to practice some of them myself.

1)         Make a stand. Avoid sitting all day at work; if you can, get a standing desk. The fancy ones allow you to lift and lower them as desired, so you can mix sitting and standing. If not, be sure to take regular breaks away from your desk and walk around. Speak to people across the hall rather than email them, make a drink, get out to buy lunch or walk in the park, anything that keeps you moving.

2)         Set technology boundaries. This might be times of day when you won’t look at your phone or laptop, or maybe even ‘tech-free days’ for the whole family where you can enjoy active hobbies or relive times gone by with cards, board games or whatever takes your fancy. You can set most technology these days to silent or to power down between certain hours, so use the fancy features to help you find a better balance.

3)         Consider how you communicate. Could you call or visit someone rather than text or email? Or if you’re feeling really nostalgic, write a letter or send someone a postcard.

4)         Think about how you use social media. Is it a positive influence in your life or do you feel it affects you in a negative way? I’ve had positive experiences in the past by reducing the number of social media sites I use and also by vastly reducing the time I spend on my particular addiction, Facebook. 

5)         Escape. Get out in the great outdoors, somewhere you’re surrounded by nature and just take in the present moment. Listen to the birds singing, the wind in the trees, the sound of the river flowing by and refresh and reinvigorate yourself. It’s also a great way to get your exercise in which is a sure-fire way to help you feel balanced.

Yours in balance,

Paul

A balanced take on stress

Stress.

It’s hard to escape it. Everything is so fast-paced these days and there are so many demands for our attention and time at home, at work and online. It’s thought we process 34 gigabytes of data through our brains each day, around 105,000 words absorbed through emails, the internet and other sources. It’s no wonder we sometimes struggle to cope.

And we do struggle; in 2013, the mental health charity MIND reported that 34 per cent of people surveyed said that work was either quite or very stressful. Last year the HSE reported that 12.5 million work days were lost due to stress and it was recently reported that stress affects one in five of the working population.

What if that last statistic was wrong? I’m going to argue that stress affects five in five of the working population and in fact, the population as a whole. It’s an inescapable part of life; in fact, it’s essential to your survival and needed to get you out of bed in the morning.

Just what is stress?

A very clever man named Hans Selye once defined it as:

         “the non-specific response of the body to any demand for change”

Simply, it’s the changes brought about by something new that we’re not used to. As he rightly points out, these changes aren’t specific; they’re unique to the individual. Some of the changes are physical, some psychological and often we experience both. Here’s a short-list of just some of the possible changes that can occur in a stressful situation.

Physical

-       Increased heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate

-       Sweating

-       Dizziness and fainting

-       Pins and needles

-       Tight, achey muscles

-       Indigestion

-       Fatigue

Psychological

-       Unable to sleep

-       Inability to switch off

-       Changes in appetite

-       Irritability

-       Difficulty making decisions

-       Restlessness

-       Mood swings

-       Loss of interest in activities and withdrawal

There are many more and that’s what makes it challenging to diagnose and treat; we all get stressed in different ways.

Good and bad stress

How can any of the changes above be good? Well, let’s give you a simple example. You’re sat at your desk one day when a hungry lion, recently escaped from the zoo, wanders in. At this point, your heart rate, breathing and blood pressure increase, as do levels of stress hormones, firing you into action so that you can run away and hide in the store cupboard. Stress can be a real life-saver.

The word stress comes from the Latin word ‘stringere’, meaning to draw tight or put something under tension or pressure. We all need a little pressure in our lives as that’s what brings about change. Exercise is the prime example; your heart only gets stronger when you challenge it with a run, bike ride, Zumba, Insanity, walk up the stairs, spot of gardening or whatever takes your fancy. Your skeletal muscles only get stronger when you challenge them with weights, Pilates, gigantic elastic bands or heavy shopping. In fitness, it’s known as the principle of overload, or as I like to say…no challenge, no change.

Equally, in life, we need a challenge. Ever had a job that was so easy it was stressful? What did you do? You went and sought out a tougher job to get a bit more stress in your life, because you knew it would be good for you.

This good stress is known as Eustress, and, as always in life, this is balanced out by the bad stuff, which is termed Distress.

Distress occurs when stress takes us beyond our ability to cope, or rather sometimes, our perceived ability to cope. It may actually be that there is a way to cope; we just can’t see it at the present time.

Our clever chap Hans Selye, who we mentioned earlier, identified three clear stages to stress, which he called his General Adaptation Syndrome or GAS for short.

1) Alarm – our initial reaction to a stress. This might be a sudden increase in workload, or the lion entering the office, which leaves us with any combination of the signs and symptoms discussed earlier.

2) Adaptation OR Resistance – Stage 2 is pivotal. We may discover a way to adapt to the new circumstance; maybe we can shift our working day around to fit in the work or discuss with our line manager that it can’t be done to the deadline being requested and agree a new date or get someone else in to help, or in the case of the lion, we run into the store cupboard, close the door and phone for help. At this point, the stress levels reduce.

If we don’t do this however, that’s when resistance occurs, which essentially means we don’t find a way to adapt.

3) Exhaustion - The lack of adaptation means the stress continues over time and that’s when the changes we’ve talked about become an issue; for example, blood pressure stays higher, our appetite is increased causing weight gain or our lack of sleep affects our mental and physical state and ultimately, our health.

It’s vital to say here that what classes as eustress and distress is unique to everyone. Some people find a certain job, workload, task or process highly stressful, whilst another absolutely loves it. It’s why sometimes people find it hard to empathise with other’s stress; ‘but I do that job and it’s absolutely fine.’ That really isn’t the point here.

What can we do about bad stress?

Essentially there are three things we can do to lessen the likelihood of distress and deal with it better when it occurs:

1) Increase our resilience to stress

2) Decrease the amount of stress placed upon us

3) Distract ourselves from the stress or learn to see it in a different light

Resilience – here we build up our minds and bodies to be able to cope with more stress before it becomes distress. Imagine your body as a drinking glass, and stress the water that you pour in. The aim is to turn it from a small tumbler into a pint glass, able to cope with more fluids before it spills over. If you can increase your reservoir, you have the capacity to deal with more stress without being negatively affected.

We can make both our minds and bodies more resilient to stress; here are just a few ways:

• Exercise – there are so many benefits of exercise for stress management. Your heart is stronger and healthier and more able to cope when placed under pressure, moderate intensity activity helps to control levels of stress hormones, it can act as a distraction from work and life, socialising with others whilst doing it is known to reduce stress and getting outdoors, particularly into green space or around water is a proven way to reduce stress levels.

• Healthy eating – certain foods and drinks can help with stress management. Reducing caffeine and swapping for herbal teas like chamomile or Rooibos is a particularly powerful technique, as is ensuring you get all the vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and other plant nutrients you need. This helps to keep your immune system on top form as it’s known that stress is particularly potent when it comes to lowering your body’s natural defences. If you can get your 5-a-day that’s fantastic; if not can you simply increase your intake by one or two above where you are now?

• Sleep – another powerful protector of your immune system, sleep is when your body repairs, recovers and files away the day’s stresses and challenges. It also helps regulate your mood, meaning you often find it easier to cope with stressful situations. Look to go to bed a little earlier, ensure the environment is calm, quiet and cool, and if you have stresses on your mind, attempt to wind down from them at least an hour before bedtime with a hobby or something more relaxing; music, reading, puzzles, it doesn’t matter so long as it works for you. Some find writing down tasks for tomorrow or current concerns helpful, as it means they won’t forget about them tomorrow but don’t need to deal with them now.

• Psychological techniques – there’s been a boom in recent years in tools and techniques to help us manage stress. Mindfulness, meditation and relaxation are all hot stuff right now and that’s because many people find them to be powerful tools.

Here are a few simple tools you can try:

Progressive relaxation – this is my go to technique. Sit somewhere quiet, just for a few minutes. Begin by taking a few deep breaths, then starting at your toes, tense the muscles for a second or two and then focus on letting them relax completely. Repeat the process for your calf muscles, thighs, hips, core muscles and all the way up to your shoulders, neck and even face. You’ll be amazed how much more chilled you feel by the end.

Count your breaths – another one that’s quick and easy to do. Sit or lie somewhere comfortable, although you can do this stood in a queue for your lunch or in the post office too. Breathe out through your mouth for a count of eight, pause briefly then in through your nose for four. Repeat for around 60 seconds.

Mindfulness – there are numerous mindfulness techniques; this one is great as it can be done anywhere. When you feel yourself getting stressed, pause and just focus on the things around you at present. Look away from your laptop or phone and work through your senses, noticing three things you can see around you at present, three you can hear, smell, touch and even taste. It’s a great little distractor to bring you back to the present.

Affirmations – I often notice how my clients are their own biggest critics, but during our conversation, I’ve noticed a range of things that seem to be going extremely well. It’s easy to focus on the negatives and leave ourselves feeling stressed and down. When this happens, get a piece of paper and make a list – what have I done well today or this week? Give yourself some praise for these things and sometimes things feel a little better.

There are of course other tools and techniques you can use; here’s a link to a fantastic website with a whole host of others for you: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/stress/developing-resilience/#.WnReFq10dp8

Decreasing the amount of stress we’re under

This bit is all about taking stock; asking ourselves ‘can I do all of that in that time-frame?’ or ‘am I taking on too much?’

If the answer is yes, here’s some stuff you should consider:

• Do I need to have a conversation with my boss, colleagues, partner, friend or other person who can act as support crew about it? As Bob Hoskins once said, it’s good to talk and it often leads to solutions that can decrease our stress load

• Look at where else we can reduce stress. I know when I’m super busy that trying to push myself really hard in exercise sessions doesn’t help. I need to work out for my sanity, but long runs, heavy weights and tough intervals are replaced by low-intensity, shorter workouts to help me stay balanced without becoming completely worn out. And to prove that I sometimes get this wrong, last week I was very busy with work and then at the weekend I decided to lift the heaviest weights I've done for some time and run the furthest I've gone in ages; result? I now have a cold. Well...man-flu and we all know how bad that can be! ;-) 

• Always remember that change is possible – we’re never really stuck in a situation. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to change but there’s likely something that can be done to make it better.

• Ask for help. Reaching out to someone, be it a medical practitioner, counsellor, manager, colleague or friend, is not a weakness, it’s a strength. And it’s the first step in reducing our stress levels.

Distraction and reframing

One of the reasons exercise is thought to be a great tool to combat stress is that it takes your mind off it. Whilst you're thinking about getting enough air into your lungs, making it up that hill, lifting that weight or getting that ball back, it's hard to also think about work deadlines and finances. It offers an escape.

And there are other escape tools too; yoga, tai chi, meditation, listening to music, reading a book, socialising with friends, taking the dog for a walk, stroking your favourite pet, playing games; it really is whatever works for you. 

There are of course less healthy distractions like smoking and alcohol. Don't get me wrong; they work to distract you from the stress but at the same time they add physical stress to your body so they aren't ideal long-term solutions.

Reframing is the art of looking at something in a different way. Think about these two words:

- Stress

- Challenge

The first is often thought of as being negative, whilst the second more positive, but they can actually mean the same thing. If you see a workload as a challenge then it's something you want to conquer and might actually enjoy whilst doing so. Are there any stresses in your life that you could reframe? Thinking about them in a different way may make a surprising difference to their impact on you.

Important points to stress

1) Can you build your resilience to be able to better cope with the stresses you face?

2) Can you reduce the amount of stress you are under?

3) Can you find a way to distract yourself or see the stress in a different light?

Doing just one of these may help you to find a little more balance.

Thanks,

Paul

Developing better relationships with food

If I could achieve just one thing for my clients, it would be to help them to enjoy a better relationship with food. It can be such a wonderful thing, so good for us and with so many tastes and textures to enjoy. It’s difficult though as there’s so much media coverage around food these days, what’s ‘good’ and ‘bad’ for us, what we ‘should’ and ‘must not’ eat. Then there’s the pressures of society to look a certain way, the quest for the body beautiful and the insecurities brought about by seeing other’s ‘wonderfully perfect’ lives through the filter of social media.

What follows are some things to consider when looking to improve your relationship with food. This is not designed to help if you feel or know that you have an eating disorder. In this instance, you should seek medical help as your health is at risk in the long term. Instead, it’s targeted at the largely unrecognised group in the community who have ‘disordered eating’; you have a poor, negative relationship with food which can strongly impact your mood, making you stressed about food choices and often guilty afterwards and lead to an unbalanced approach to what you eat and drink.

1)        Recognise that you must eat and drink

We must have food and water. Without them, we cannot survive. This means that far from being bad for us, they’re the stuff of life. This makes them very different from things like alcohol or cigarettes, where we may look to quit completely. Accept food and drink as an essential and inevitable part of your life and work to better your relationship with it from there.

2)        Understand that no single food is ‘good’ or ‘bad’

So often you’ll hear that this is bad for you and this is good for you, but the reality is that no food or drink is either when consumed as a one-off, then it’s just food. Things become good or bad over time when we have too much of certain things or too little of others. With that in mind, you can worry much less about what you have today.

3)        Opt for a balanced approach instead of abstinence

Did you ever see the episode of Derren Brown’s show where he placed the animal-loving lady in a room with a kitten inside a glass box? As he closed the door, he gave her specific instructions not to touch the button in the room or the cat would come to harm. There was even a big sign…’Whatever you do, don’t push the button.’ What do you think she did? Of course, the cat wasn’t harmed, but it went to show that human beings in their nature are rebellious. If we say ‘I won’t’ or are told, ‘you can’t’, then it’s probably more likely that we will. And after a period of resistance, we often end up overdoing it in response.

If you know this to be true for you, tell yourself that you absolutely can have the less healthy foods, just recognise the consequences of having too much too often.

There are a small number of people for who going cold turkey and removing a certain food from their diet works. This is usually because they have a very powerful motivation for it, so if you know that’s you then that is of course absolutely fine, you’re always free to do what’s best for you.

4)        Eat consciously, because you’re hungry and stop when you’re full

This is a big part of this step and the portion control step. Tuning in to your body helps you to understand if you’re eating because of hunger or emotion. Slow yourself down around food, become conscious of what you’re doing and you may find you eat less or even change your mind before you reach for the less healthy options.

5)        Accept that you will slip up, and at this point you only have two choices

As we said in point 1, you are going to eat on all, or at least most of the rest of the days of your life. That means it’s almost impossible to eat and drink well every day, nor do you need to. There are lots of studies to show that taking healthy eating to the extreme is unhealthy, it’s known as orthorexia and it can be harmful to your physical and mental health. Raw food diets and restrictive eating affect the digestive system and are linked with anxiety and depression.

The key with food is that once you’ve eaten something less healthy, you only have two choices:

1)   Get back to eating healthily most of the time and then it won’t have made any difference

2)   Continue to eat poorer choices and then you know you’ll feel bad about it, your health will worse and you’ll likely gain weight

Which choice would you prefer?

6)        Work to remove the connection in your brain between food as a treat or reward

This is ingrained in our culture and society so it won’t happen overnight. It is worth working on though. We often call less healthy foods ‘treats’ or label them as ‘naughty’ which in itself makes eating them an act of rebellion like we discussed in point 3. There are some simple things you can do though:

   Regard all foods and drinks as simply food and drinks. They’re not good, bad, treats or anything else. Each is simply a mix of the different nutrients – carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, minerals and water

   When you set yourself tasks and goals and achieve them, reward yourself with things other than food and drink. Clothes can be a good choice as they reinforce the benefits of the new healthier you, as can experiences like days out, things that make you feel good without guilt.

7)        Enjoy the less healthy options when you have them

The worst thing of all is to eat something and feel bad about it. Make a conscious decision to have something, and if you’re going to have a less healthy option, choose one that you particularly enjoy, that you love the taste of and when you have it, savour it. Take your time with it, savour every last mouthful and then move forwards without regrets.

Above all else, work on finding a balance that works for you.

Bring me sunshine - how the yellow ball in the sky impacts your health

We all enjoy it when we wake up, peek through the curtains and discover that the sun is shining. Just what is it that makes catching a few rays so good for us? Here are seven great reasons:

1)   Sunlight boosts your stores of vitamin D, which works with calcium to give you healthy teeth and bones. What you may not know is that it also plays a role in keeping your eyes healthy and may help protect against heart disease, cancers, diabetes, arthritis and MS.

2)   Exposure to sun and heat improves your body’s ability to sweat efficiently, enabling you to stay cooler better. Effectively it helps you develop a better air conditioning system.

3)   Sunlight has also been shown to boost testosterone levels in men, which may help to improve muscle growth and increase your sex drive.

4)   It boosts your body’s natural defence mechanism; your immune system by improving the function of special cells whose job it is to protect your from illness.

5)   Sunshine increases levels of a substance known as Nitric Oxide within your body. This causes your blood vessels to widen and can lower blood pressure as a result.

6)   Ever wondered why you feel so happy and relaxed on sunny days? Well, one reason may be that it boosts levels of serotonin, a chemical in your brain known to elevate your mood and regulate your appetite. This may also be why we find it easier to eat lighter meals in the summer.

7)   It’ll help you remember everything you’ve just read! Exposure to sunlight has been shown to improve memory and help you get better sleep. Getting more of the latter also improves memory.

The clear message – be sure to get some sunshine as often as you can. Be sensible though; too much in one go on very hot days can lead to sunburn and may increase skin cancer risk in the long-term; as with all things it always comes back to balance. 

Stressed? Here's how to find some balance.

Do you often feel stressed? How do you know? What do you feel? How do you feel? What do you see and hear?

The word stress is one that you’ll probably hear many times these days, but its meaning is probably more complex and controversial than you may imagine.

The word stress comes from the Latin word stringere, meaning to draw tight. This is a good analogy, as it’s true meaning is to put strain on something. When thinking of it in relation to you, it relates to anything that challenges your body and takes it out of its comfort zone. This could be a mental stress, challenging your brain, a physical stress challenging your body, or both.

When most people think of and use the word stress these days, it generally carries a negative meaning, yet that does not always have to be the case. There are in fact two distinct types of stress:

Eustress

This is good stress. What’s that you say? How can stress be good? Well let’s look at a few examples.

Exercise - you know it’s good for you, or you do if you’ve been reading the balance blog and Facebook posts! Exercise involves physical exertion, placing stress upon your body. In fact, one of the key principles of exercise that any fitness professional can tell you about is called overload. In simple terms, your body will not adapt and get fitter unless you challenge it. Why would it? If you’ve ever taken up exercise, you’ll know that feeling of discomfort in the first few sessions, then after a while you don’t find it so hard. You have stressed your body enough that it’s decided to change, primarily because it’s quite lazy and doesn’t want to have to work hard. Suddenly you find the same exercise session pretty easy, and the only way to get more changes from your body is, you guessed it, to work harder still. Of course, you need to do this sensibly and gradually or you place your body under too much stress and increase the likelihood of overtraining and injury.

Challenge - ever had a job that was just too easy and you were bored? Many of you will have experienced this and will have spent time trying to get promoted or looking for a career change. You’re basically trying deliberately to add more stress to yourself, but that’s because you need it and want it. Imagine if there was no challenge to life, what would be the motivation to continue? It could easily be argued that stress is actually what keeps you alive.

However, as with all things in life, it’s all about balance. Too much stress, or unwanted stresses can have a negative impact.

Distress

This is the term for bad stress, any stressor that puts your body under too much strain or has a negative effect. This is what most people think of when they use the term stress.

What causes distress?

• Work - being overworked, not enjoying your job, demanding deadlines, pressure passed on by your boss or by targets set for your team, bonus schemes, long hours, there’s a whole host of reasons why work can stress people both mentally and physically.

• Money - life these days can be expensive and throws up unexpected costs when the car breaks down or a utility bill is bigger than you thought.

• Family life - it’s hard to get on with the people you love all the time. Even when you do, you want to look after them and time apart, exam pressure for children, job interviews, university placements, holidays, illness and a million other things can make life feel complicated and stressful.

• Lack of sleep, too much exercise, exposure to electrical and chemical radiation, taking exams, and even sitting down place stresses on your body, the latter putting your knee joint under strain by tightening the muscles that attach around it.

Whether you are affected by stress (I mean distress) depends on a number of things:

1) Your balance of eustress and distress.

2) The coping mechanisms you have in place.

Let’s have a look at these and see what can be done. Firstly, it can be useful for you to identify all of the things that create good stress and bad stress in your life.

Make a list like the one below.

Eustress

• My gym visits

• Taking exams for my courses

• Rehearsing for a play that you’re going to be appearing in

• Preparing to go self-employed

Distress

• Lack of sleep

• Work pressures

• Getting the kids to school on time in the morning

• Flying on holiday next week and hate flying

• Fitting in visits to the family around after-school clubs, visits to the doctors, going shopping, picking up a prescription, posting your tax return on time and a million other things you struggle to make time for

• Spending 10 hours a day sat in front of a computer

Now you’ve got your list, don’t get stressed if you think you’ve missed something, you can add it at another time, it’s worth looking at the balance of good and bad and asking yourself two questions:

1) Can I add more things that will give me eustress to my life?

• Take up yoga or meditate

• Go for a walk outside at lunchtimes or at least get away from my desk more often

• Book a race to raise money for charity

• Spend time playing sports with my children

• Go to sleep half an hour earlier

These are just a few examples, you’ll have plenty of your own.

2) How can I manage or remove the things that cause me distress?

Some would call this stress management or stress reduction, you can call it distress disposal, Fred or whatever you like that makes most sense to you. Let’s choose one possible cause of distress and look at ways to reduce it; in this case the fear or hatred of flying. Hate is a strong word so it must be pretty stressful. What can you do to manage this stress?

1) Avoidance - in this case don’t fly. Go on holiday in the UK? Nah, no sunshine! Drive and take the ferry? Too far and would take up half the holiday.

2) Drink - many choose this as a way to remove stress as it makes them feel relaxed. You need to ask yourself though, is it a good method? One or two drinks may supply an instant feeling of relaxation as the alcohol acts on the nervous system, any more though and guess what, you’re actually placing your body under distress as it then has to cope with the increased level of toxins in the body and the dehydration. Your liver and other organs end up stressed and long-term this won’t be a good solution for removal of stress, you simply replace one stress with another. Some go even further in times of stress and take drugs, the consequences of which are much the same if not even more severe. Getting out of it is not a great way to get over it.

3) Distraction - I know, I’ll read a book, listen to music, do a puzzle, plan a presentation, schedule my exercise for the next 12 weeks before my race. This is a great option if it works, as it uses eustress methods to overcome distress.

4) Rationalise - I could read up about the statistical likelihood of being involved in a plane crash, and reassure myself that I’m far more at risk statistically when going for a walk than I am when flying.

5) Mind tricks - I could use hypnosis, have counselling, practice meditation or anything else that I thought may help me to overcome or allay my fears.

As you can see, I have options open to me and this is a good thing, as it means I can take action and do something. Try it for yourself, pick one of the things that cause you distress and make  list of methods you could use to remove or manage this. You can try them all or even use just one of them, it really is up to you. The key thing you need to ask yourself though is, will the things I have written down have a positive impact on the health of my mind and body, or will they cause me further distress? Opt for the ones that have a positive impact. Smoking, alcohol and junk foods are common ‘stress relief’ methods employed by millions of people across the world, but they’re not effective because they end up loading different and equally harmful stresses onto the body.

The advice above serves only to help you manage stresses you feel you are able to control without seeking further help. What you may have discovered by doing this task is that there are some stresses in your life that you feel are deep-seated, that you can’t think of a way to remove or that you feel are causing you real harm. If this is the case, you should seek medical advice in the first instance and then work with your GP to find suitable solutions to balance your stresses and improve your health. 

Let’s have a quick re-cap:

• Stress can be both good and bad for you. You need good stresses in your life to motivate you, but too much stress or negative stresses can affect you both physically and mentally.

• Spend time considering the balance of your good stress (eustress) and bad stress (distress). Do you need to take action to redress this?

• Add as many things to your life as you can that cause eustress - exercise, get outside, listen to music, dance, paint, read, have a bath, spend time with friends, go for promotion, set yourself a challenge, whatever it is that you personally find challenging but enjoyable.

• Identify ways in which you can manage or overcome things causing you distress. Sense check these to ensure that they themselves will not cause you further physical or mental distress. Choose realistic changes that will help bring you back into balance.

• Accept that 'stress’ is a part of your life, now and forever but recognise it is essential to your life. It will come and go, rise and fall, but you need to find the stress management techniques that work best for you.

• Always seek medical advice if you feel a stress is having a negative consequence on your mental or physical wellbeing. Your GP can discuss a range of options available to you that best suit your needs and circumstances.