Fuel for thought: What the petrol 'crisis' can teach you about forming healthy habits.

We had to travel quite far to find some petrol last week! ;-)

Sometimes, things happen during the week that spark my brain to life. (Not very often, I'll admit, but it does happen!) And, when it does, I can instantly see a great connection between whatever it is and the important messages that I try to pass on to you in my newsletters and blogs about how to make your healthy habits stick.

Bizarrely, you might think, this week's fuel 'crisis' was one such moment. Here's how my little grey cells connected a lack of petrol and diesel with lasting weight loss, improved energy levels, better sleep, less stress, increased strength and all-round wellbeing for you.

1. URGENT ACTION REQUIRED!!!!!!!!

We take action when things are urgent. When they need our attention right away. That's why we got on board with the vast changes to life that we felt were required at the start of the virus. That's why people raided petrol station forecourts this week like packs of hungry wolves.

And, it's also why we're often so slow to react when it comes to things like the environment or our own health and wellbeing. These changes happen slowly over time. So slowly, in fact, that we barely notice them. And so, when it comes to taking action, it feels like something we can put off until tomorrow. We have time for that, but there's more urgent stuff that needs attending to first.

How can you use this to your advantage?

In reality, unless you've had a major health scare, it's difficult to make prioritising your wellbeing feel urgent. But, there are some things you can do to help bump it up the priority list:

• Set frequent short-term goals with fixed timelines/dates in which to achieve them. Yes, the big goal may be some time away, but breaking it down into more bite-size chunks helps to keep it higher on your list of priorities.

• Be accountable to someone for the progress you're making on these short-term goals. If you have to report in, this creates a sense of urgency, much like projects at work with set dates and the need for weekly updates to your boss. You get these things done!

2. DON'T PANIC BUY!

A message you've heard many times in this past week. But, what do people do? They top up their tanks, just in case. Sometimes because they are very much panic buying. Sometimes because they think, 'well, I best fill up anyway because everyone else is stupid and they definitely will.'

Our brains just don't really compute the word 'don't'.

Whatever you do, don't think about pink elephants. So what did you just do? You imagined Dumbo in a nice shade of candyfloss pink, didn't you? For your brain to process the negative 'don't', it has to imagine the very action it's being told not to perform.

As I heard those messages this week, all it brought to mind for me was Private Jones in Dad's Army saying, 'Don't panic Mr Manewaring' in that increasingly agitated manner of his, working himself up into a lather and a state of absolute panic. The irony wasn't lost on me.

How can you use this to your advantage?

When you're trying to improve your health and fitness, focus on the habits you want to form, rather than those you don't.

Instead of saying, 'I'm not going to eat biscuits', try 'This week, I'm going to snack on fruit, nuts and seeds during my breaks at work.' Rather than saying, 'I don't want to feel tired anymore', try, 'I want to have the energy to get through my day and still have time to do something fun with the kids in the evening.'

3. IT'S REALLY NOT A BIG DEAL. THAT'S WHY WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT THE FRONT PAGE HEADLINE EVERY DAY AND START EVERY NEWS BULLETIN WITH IT!

Think logically for a second. We're told that it's all fine, that there's plenty of fuel to go around if we all just fill up normally. But, at the same time, we're informed every day that it's a 'crisis'. I don't know about you, but if something is a crisis, then I imagine that it must be pretty bad.

It's always in the news. We're reminded of it constantly. Why would they keep going on about it if it wasn't a problem, right? I'm sure the media knows this, and they also know that they can essentially create a story by reporting it before it's even happened. They talk about it enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

How can you use this to your advantage?

You want to do something. Find a way to remind yourself of it constantly. Keep it in the forefront of your mind and you can make it happen.

Very often, people assume that they fail with their health and fitness goals because they weren't motivated enough. It obviously wasn't that important. But it probably was. It's just that every day their brain got deluged with millions of pieces of information and endless life and work and family tasks that they had to do as well, many of which were 'crises' or needed urgent attention. Their goals simply got pushed to the back of their minds.

In order to keep them at the front, you have to create constant reminders. Alarms on your phone telling you to drink some water. Meetings in your diary for gym sessions. Post-it notes on the kettle or laptop informing you to have a piece of fruit.

You can think like any good media outlet. Keep your health and fitness story front-page news in your life and you'll make the headlines you want to read.

How has the easing of lockdown improved your wellbeing?

You might think that a picture of a group of people drinking has no place on a website dedicated to your wellbeing and, in some ways, it doesn't. It's certainly not the alcohol that's the most important element of the picture. Far from it. It's the fact that the people are together, socialising, and enjoying themselves.

Our lives have been changed in so many ways over the past 15 months. We've had many of our freedoms taken away and realised the importance of many things that we simply took for granted.

So what is it about the recent easing of lockdown that's been most helpful in improving your wellbeing? Maybe it's:

Getting to see family and friends.

Studies have suggested that the strength of a person's social circle might be a better predictor of stress, happiness and wellbeing than some fitness tracker data. So, going to the pub for a drink with friends could actually be just as important as going for your morning run! Who knew???

I can't find the reference, but one of my all-time favourite research studies was done on a group of elderly folk who were suffering from mild depression. During the study, half of the participants took part in regular exercise sessions, whilst the others got together for regular tea and biscuit mornings. The results? Both groups saw equal improvements in their mood (and in other markers of wellbeing too)! It seemed just the act of being with others was enough to improve wellbeing. Wonderful news to my ears, as that means not only can I go to the pub, I can have biscuits too!!! ;-)

NOTE: All in moderation of course. It's all about balance.

Freedom

Human beings have been fighting to protect their freedoms for millennia, and no doubt will continue to do so for thousands more years to come. Being able to choose, to do what we want, when we want to, is an essential element of our wellbeing.

Autonomy is well recognised as being vital in so many aspects of our lives. As a child, we grow up wanting the freedom to be able to do the things we want, and this certainly causes a few arguments with our parents along the way! In the workplace, autonomy is recognised as one of the key elements that help workers to feel valued and, consequently, increases the loyalty someone feels towards an organisation, and the productivity of their work.

Many of our simplest freedoms have been missing this past year. The freedom to go where we want to, see who we like, partake in many of our favourite hobbies and pastimes. Maybe getting this back, even just a little, has been the thing you've treasured most in recent weeks?

Spontaneity

'Shall we go out for dinner tonight?' When was the last time you said that? These days, it's more like 'I best book a table at the pub for two weeks Tuesday, just in case they get full.'

I know this is one of the things I've missed hugely. When we did our ride last year, I was hoping that we'd be able to just take each day as it comes, see how far we could go, and then, late afternoon pop into a campsite or B&B that we were passing to see if they had any space. The reality was much different. We had to plan every stay a week or more in advance and stick rigidly to our schedule.

I guess spontaneity is all part of freedom. To be able to go where the wind blows us, to drift on the tide, enjoy the ride, and see where we end up.

Variety

'What day is it?' How many times have you asked that question in recent times? When all days feel the same, it really is hard to tell!

Weirdly, having some structure in our lives also provides us with variety. We know that we do specific things on certain days and at certain times, work being the obvious example. But it's the structure of a working week that allows evenings and weekends to feel like such a wonderful change.

As a self-employed person, I've had to work hard for years to ensure I kept variety in my week. To limit myself to working on certain days between certain times, and even in specific places in the house. It's a vital part of wellbeing. It allows us to compartmentalise our lives into work time, family time, me time, and any other time that's important.

Variety really is the spice of life, so it's quite understandable that many people have found the monotony of lockdowns such a challenge. Hopefully, now your freedoms are beginning to return, you've started to feel like your life has both more structure and more variety again?

How has the easing of lockdown improved your wellbeing?

I’d love to know, so please do reply and tell me in the comments box below. And whatever your reasons, long may it continue!

Think like a professional sportsperson to get fitter, healthier and happier

This weekend sees the World Cup final, sadly without England, the finals of Wimbledon and the continuation of the Tour de France. You'll see men and women at the very pinnacle of their sports, performing at the highest level. It's not just physical ability that sets them apart; they're also mentally strong and have developed a range of psychological tools to help them stay focused, positive and calm when the pressure is on.

You might not want to be amongst the best athletes on the planet but you can still learn from them and use their techniques to help you achieve your health, fitness and wellbeing goals. So what exactly do they do that makes such a difference?

Chase your dreams

A study in the New England Journal of Medicine suggested that people who set themselves tougher goals were more likely to achieve them. The reason proposed is that tougher goals enable you to maintain higher motivation levels for longer. Don't just accept average, go after the dream.

Focus on the process

Whilst you might do better having a bigger goal to work towards, you then also need to be capable of focusing on the things you need to do to get there. Whilst Serena may say to herself that she wants to win Wimbledon, her first goal will be to get her first serve in. Mark Cavendish will set himself the target of being in bed early enough to ensure he gets enough rest ahead of tomorrow's stage, and we all know how Gareth Southgate got the England players thinking about their roles for every single set piece in the game. It's the repeated achievement of these smaller goals that makes the big one possible. For you it might be to have a healthy breakfast every day before leaving for work or making sure you've made your food and snacks for the next day the night before. It might be having your gym kit packed and having your lights out by 10:30 so you can be in the gym for 6:30. 

                "I was expecting a few more baby steps, but every time I go out there, I want to take a giant step forward, keep improving." 

                                 Serena Williams, on wanting to make small improvements after coming back from giving birth, but surprising herself by reaching the Wimbledon Final.              

Chunk it down

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. If you think about the epic goal you're working towards, it can feel overwhelming. How many times do you hear sportspeople say 'we'll take it one game at a time.' It sounds a bit boring when they keep repeating it, but it's true and it's this fantastic ability to make it seem smaller that helps them through it. Marathon runners don't think about the whole 26.2 miles, they just focus on getting over the crest of the hill. You can focus on just eating healthily today; worry about tomorrow when it comes. 

Show bouncebackability

Tennis players can be 0-40 down on their serve and fight back to win the game. Only the other day, Kevin Anderson came from two sets down against the mighty Roger Federer to win in five sets, taking the last one 13-11. He was only capable of this because he could forget what had gone and focus on the next point, and the next, then the next. 

You can do the same if you choose something less healthy for lunch or if you miss a gym class. Does it matter? Not if you pick yourself up and get back to it. It matters if you let it matter and get yourself on that negative hamster wheel - 'I ate something bad, I feel rubbish, so I can't be bothered to go for my run tonight - and that makes me feel down so I'll have a few drinks.' Athletes don't let the wheel start to turn; they recognise that something hasn't gone well, forgive themselves, forget about it and go again. You can too.

Use the power of words and pictures

Top athletes are very good at using their mind to good effect. They can visualise the successful outcome they're after. Jess Ennis-Hill used to picture herself performing the precise technique she was looking for and Jonny Wilkinson famously used to repeat the same routine before every kick, picturing in his head the feeling of the ball as it struck his foot and watching it fly straight between the posts. You can practice seeing yourself lifting the weight you've been targeting, getting into the clothes you want to feel comfortable in again, or crossing the finish line in that race. When you do, really take yourself there; imagine what it looks like, the sounds you'd hear and the smells, tastes and feelings you'd experience.

They're also great at positive self-talk. Many clients have told me over the years how they struggle to manage the voice in their head, the one that tells them to eat the packet of biscuits in the cupboard or have some more of that cake in the office kitchen to celebrate Jennie's birthday. And why not? You won't achieve your goal anyway so it doesn't matter. Instead, use mantra's like the pro's. Gwen Jorgensen, two-time World Triathlon champion and Olympic gold medallist, says to herself 'These are not sacrifices, but investments. I truly believe they will pay me back ten-fold.' This could just as easily relate to dietary changes for a weight loss goal as it does to the hopes of a gold medal.

Distract yourself

What about when you're exercising? What do athletes do to get through the hard training? Many people assume that they enjoy it because they're so fit but that just isn't the case. They get so fit because they can endure the pain and tiredness required to reach that level. And that means they need ways to distract themselves when the going gets tough. Here are a few things you can try to get you through those tough workouts:

1) Think about the process - if you've gone for a run and you're struggling, focus on the actions of moving your arms and legs, the soft landing of your foot, relaxing your shoulders, standing tall. If you're lifting a weight, talk yourself through the key technique requirements as you do it

2) Breath - hopefully that's a given, but sometimes focusing on your breathing, especially when doing cardio, can make a real difference. Try to make your breaths slower than your movements. In turn it will slow your heart rate and make it feel easier

3) Count - you might use your watch on a run to do some calculations in your head. 'If it's taken me this long to get here, it'll take another 7 minutes til I reach the corner'. Alternatively, you can break things down into numbers - 'I'll just do another 15 minutes on the bike', or simply count your steps or pedal turns - 'I'll just do another 20' and so on.

4) Drift off - especially helpful in repetitive exercise that doesn't need to much concentration, make your shopping list, plan your holiday or one of mine and Vicky's favourites, think about what you'll have for dinner.

Any one of these techniques done regularly can help take you a step closer to your goals. Give one a try, and if it doesn't work for you, don't give up, simply try something else until it does.

Hope springs eternal

As I ran in the rain this morning (yes the world has definitely returned to normal), I thought about the what-ifs of England's performance last night. What if Kane had taken his chance in the first half or Lingard had put his foot through the ball instead of trying to side foot it into the bottom corner? What if we'd managed to stop them delivering the ball from wide areas, or if the ref had decided that the equaliser was actually a foul for a dangerously high foot?

What I realised was that none of it really mattered. In fact, it wasn't even football that mattered. What counted was that the nation of England had come together with one thing driving them; hope.

Before the game yesterday, Goran Ivanisevic the giant Croatian tennis player had berated the English for their arrogance in thinking that we were already in the final, we'd already won it. Roy Keane did the same after the game in an entertaining spat with Ian Wright. Luka Modric accused England of not showing Croatia enough respect, but all of them missed the point, except Wrighty who captured the mindset of the English nation perfectly.

We didn't think we'd won it, we never even thought we'd make the final, we just hoped. And about three weeks ago, if you'd asked most people, they'd have said we had no hope. Listen to the lyrics of the rejuvenated Baddiel and Skinner song, most of them are about our disappointments, the moments when we lost hope. 'It's coming home' doesn't represent an arrogant notion that the Jules Rimet trophy will again be paraded through the streets of England on an open top bus, it just reflects our hope that one day, it might.

The performances, actions and behaviours of the England team and management reignited hope in the last few weeks. A hope we haven't seen in football for over twenty years. We've had it in the tennis, with Murray finally bringing a British victory at Wimbledon and the 2012 Olympics ignited it for athletics and sports rarely watched at other times. And look what happened there; Murray did it again a few years later and Team GB went on to better their 2012 medal tally in Rio 4 years later.

Of course, hope for the sporting performances of our superstars is one thing, but it's not in our control. We can only support them, cheer them on from the sidelines. But it's well established that sporting successes bring a feel-good factor to a nation, a stronger bond and a sense of identity that may sometimes be hard to feel, especially in a world of Brexit, Trump, terror and fear.

Science tells us that hope is a good thing. Positive language has been shown to be contagious; it literally infects the mind of others. Obama's famous slogan 'Yes we can' probably wouldn't have gained as much traction if he'd opted for 'Erm...well maybe we could' and Martin Luther King's 'I have a dream...but it's not very likely' speech wouldn't have gone down in the history books.

There's also work to suggest that optimism, which is closely linked to hope, can positively affect wellbeing. But optimism is different to hope. We were optimistic about England's chances for the first time in years, and whilst this positive feeling will have been acknowledged by the players, it couldn't directly affect the outcome. Yes it could have made them feel better, inspired them and therefore boosted performance that way, but there was no direct link. 

But hope about your own situations is different. If you're hopeful of achieving better health and fitness, science suggests you'll be more determined to get there and less likely to give up should the path to success not run smooth. And that's the key to health, fitness and happiness; the repetition of behaviours frequently over long periods of time. A few weeks of exercise followed by months of nothing, or 9 days of dieting after which you revert to unhealthy habits will not lead to balance. If you give up, you'll never reach your goals, if you keep going, you might just get there.

Hope appears consistently in human history, from the works of ancient Greece to Shakespeare, the romantic poets, Dickens and Tolkien, from politicians and influencers like Lincoln, Churchill, Luther King, Mandela and Lennon, it's ever-present. It's one of the key tenets of the Star Wars films and maybe its popularity endures because, at the end of the day, no matter what happens, there's always hope.

This is summed up brilliantly by two very different characters. Martin Luther King said "we must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope", whilst last night in his on-air tiff with Roy Keane, Ian Wright repeatedly asked him 'why shouldn't we get excited about being in a semi-final?'

Be like Ian Wright, be hopeful, good things might just happen.

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Why we ALL have mental health problems...and what we can do about it

Mental wellbeing - more grey than black and white

According to recent statistics, one in four people in the UK experiences mental health problems, or rather, one in four of us gets diagnosed with mental health problems. What if though, WE ALL suffered from mental health issues?

In times gone by, you'd often hear talk of 'mental illness' and the simplified notion was that you were mentally ill or not. In reality, it's just not that simple. In the same way that physical health sits on a sliding scale, with excellent at one end and well, to put it bluntly, at death's door at the other, mental wellbeing can also be imagined on a continuum. It can fluctuate towards better or worse mental health and wellbeing on a weekly, daily and even hourly basis. And it doesn't matter who you are or what you do, where you live or how much money you earn, it does affect you.

There are of course differences between us, with some more at risk of sliding the wrong way along the scale due to genetic influences and uncontrollable life circumstances, but there are also many actions most definitely within your control that affect where you are on the continuum at any one time. It is these behaviours that form the focus of this blog piece and that are the target when I work with individual clients or when helping larger number of people through employee wellbeing initiatives. 

A few principles of mental wellbeing

When you think of mental health challenges, you might often conjure up words like stress, depression and anxiety. You may imagine these to be bad, and they certainly can be, but that's not always the case. Stress can be very good; imagine a lion escapes from the local zoo and appears on your driveway. The stress response that enables you to quickly run inside and shut the door is very helpful! Equally, exercise is a stress on your body; you know the saying 'no pain, no gain' or as I prefer to say, 'no challenge, no change', meaning that you only get fitter when you put your body under stress. Too little stress from exercise and you become unfit and unhealthy, too much and again you can get problems. It's all about finding the right balance for you. Depression and anxiety can have their place too; it's normal to grieve for a lost loved one and part of the healing process, and it's absolutely fine to be anxious about a big exam or interview, in fact science is quite clear that, up to a point it raises performance. 

The problems occur when the stress, anxiety or depression become too much, too severe and also when they go on continuously. Mental wellbeing is present when you have a healthy balance of emotions but if the balance is tipped too far, we can have issues. One of the big difficulties about recognising mental health problems is that for each of us, these issues can be different. This definition of stress by Hans Selye, a scientist famous for his work in this area in the mid-20th century, helps to explain this:

"Stress is the non-specific response of an individual to any demand for change."

What he was saying is that stress could be caused by a multitude of things, basically anything that calls for adaptation from a person. A new form to fill in at work, a house move, changes in job circumstances, a closed road meaning you must drive somewhere unknown or any other number of stressors. 

He was also saying that the way in which we all respond to this stress is unique. There might be a physical response like increased heart rate, sweating or trembling, or a mental response and for some that stress may bring about good changes whilst for others it might cause issues. 

This is what makes mental health problems so hard to recognise and understand. When you get stressed you may lose your appetite, whilst another may comfort eat. One might withdraw from their social circle whilst another might go out and party hard. One person may present with physical symptoms like poor skin or a raised blood pressure, whilst another may suffer psychologically. Always bear these two points in mind when thinking about mental health and wellbeing:

1) What leads to stress, depression or anxiety for one person may not for another.  

The triggers for each individual are unique; it doesn't mean they are weak or 'that's just them', it's a complex interplay of genetics, previous experiences and all of the things that are going on in someone's life at any one time. I've heard a number of times in a work setting, 'How can they be signed off with stress? I do the same job as them and I'm fine.' It simply doesn't work like that.

2) The unique response of each individual to mental health pressures can make them hard to recognise.

It's generally impossible to look at someone and see a mental health problem. Again I've heard lines like 'Well they didn't look/seem ill to me' when referring to colleagues signed off work, but as we've seen above, how the issue shows itself can differ from person to person and over time. Doctors will weigh up all of the signs and symptoms when making a diagnosis; sleep patterns, energy levels, mood, behavioural changes, appetite, thought processes and physical checks of heart rate and blood pressure are just a few of the areas that are factored in.

Load and resilience

Your mental health and wellbeing can be influenced by two major factors; firstly, how much load or stress you are faced with at any one time. In the picture above, this is represented by the jug of water...the more that gets poured in the greater the challenge for you. The second is your ability to cope with these challenges, known as your resilience, represented by the glass. If you reach the point where you've poured more in than your glass can cope with, you overflow and, just like the water leaking over the sides of the glass, it can head in any direction, or in other words, it can represent itself in any number of ways unique to you.

This means there are two things you can do to stay well balanced with our mental wellbeing...

1) Pour less in (decrease the load) 

It's important that you're aware of just how much you have going on and ensure that you're never pouring so many challenges in that you start to overflow. That's easier said than done these days with lives business than they've ever been and the constant bombardment of tasks and information that come out us in all aspects of life. In the 'What can you do?' section below, you'll find a range of suggestions to help you lighten then load.

2) Work on your glass (increase your resilience) 

Alongside pouring less in, you can also work on coping better with what comes your way. This means upgrading your glass from a shot glass to a tumbler or even better still, a pint glass (don't race down the pub just yet)! There are many things you can do to help both your body and mind cope better with the pressures you face. You can also learn ways to tip a little of what's being poured in back out again. This keeps you from overflowing and helps you stay balanced.

What can you do?

Pouring less in - just being aware of the volume of stuff you have going on is a good start. Sometimes you'll find that you only notice you have too much going on when it's already overloaded you and you're struggling mentally or physically as a result. Being consciously aware of how much is going on is a great place to start. Remember too that even things that are enjoyable still count as load. For example, you know how much I love exercise and sometimes I forget that doing a long run or bike ride is still load being poured into my glass. I'll then try to also do loads of work on the garden, catch up on all my emails, write a new chapter of my next book, get my accounts up-to-date and catch up with friends. Then after all that, I'll wonder why I'm feeling exhausted! 

You have to learn some important lessons to get this bit right; how to prioritise some things at the expense of others and also, often, how to say no. You'll know how much you can pour in before you start to feel the effects, so have it in the forefront of your mind when you're planning the days and weeks ahead. This applies both to work and life; here's a little table going you some examples of how you might prevent overload in both situations.

Making your glass bigger and tipping some back out - there are a myriad of tools you can use to do this and for simplicity, I divide them into four categories:

1. Psychological

2. Physical

3. Social

4. Recreational

Psychological tools are any that help to alter your mindset. This might include breathing techniques, meditation, mindfulness, counselling or learning to change your inner dialogue to be more helpful. 

Physical tools include all the things that help your body to cope better and be physically as well as mentally healthier; exercise, better diet, getting more sleep and reducing or quitting smoking and alcohol.

Social tools involve getting help from others. Generally, people are awesome and when it comes to mental health, being sociable is proven to make a difference. How you achieve this can vary from talking about your challenges to joining a club, helping someone else or doing something for a good cause. 

Recreational tools are all the things you can do for enjoyment like your hobbies, listening to music, reading books, playing games, learning and spending time with your pets (I often include this last one in with the social tools because pets are people too right?). All are known to have a positive impact on your mood and send you the right way along the continuum towards better mental health.

Here's a nice little summary of all of them for those of you who prefer pictures to words:

There is without a doubt a crossover between these four areas; for example you might join a Quidditch team...yes you really can do that! That will give you some exercise, time with friends and you get to play a game which all help to distract you from the stresses of daily life and boost your mental wellbeing. The categories are simply meant to guide you towards the many possible tools you already have at your fingertips that can help you find more balance.

All of these tools work through a range of powerful mechanisms, including:

• Altering the levels of feel-good chemicals in your brain that help to make you feel better

• Distracting you from the pressures of daily life

• Enabling you to escape, take a step back and maybe evaluate things in a different way

• Getting help; as the saying goes...'a problem shared is a problem halved'

• Boosting your self-image, self-worth and self-confidence

Key considerations

• There are lots of things you can do to improve your mental wellbeing. You do not have to do them all in one go; just one small change will make a difference and it really doesn't matter what you decide to do. Just pick something that feels right and that you think you'll be able to stick to. No matter if it doesn't work, pick something else and go again.

• Health comes when behaviours are repeated consistently over time. Try to do it just for a day at first, then when you've nailed that, aim for a week, then another week and so on until it's just a normal part of everyday life.

• Managing your mental wellbeing is a constant journey. There is a principle in exercise known as reversibility. This is best described by the phrase 'if you don't use it, you lose it'. You know this well from fitness regimes and diets. If you stop doing your running after that 10k race you lose fitness; if you give up the diet you were following the weight can come back. The same principle applies to mental wellbeing too. If you stop practising the behaviours that help you to manage how you feel, you stop getting the benefits. Life will inevitably throw in challenges that mean some days and weeks aren't as good as others but the great news is, you can always start doing the right things again and get yourself back to balance.

Please do get involved in the conversation below. What do you do that helps you balance your mental health and wellbeing? What tips would you offer others? Anything you'd like to share that helps people to be fitter, healthier and happier.

Thanks, 

Paul

This blog was adapted from a seminar I gave recently for Origin Workspace, an exciting new co-working and start-up support business based in Bristol. You can find out more about them here.

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Why do you try to do too much and fail, and what can you do about it?

I'm an optimist, always have been. I firmly believe that I can do more in the time I have available than I actually can. I always think it will take less time to get somewhere than it does, that the roads will be traffic-free and a smooth journey awaits. I also believe that I'll be able to get through the list of ten things that I set myself to do each day, and that I'll also fit in two exercise sessions around this, and do the housework, and have time to read my favourite book in the evening.

But I don't.

And I'm not alone. Many of us will take on too many things at once, try to fit a new course in around a busy work schedule, imagine that we'll have time to cook all of our meals for the week ahead on Sunday afternoon, or tell the gym instructor when we join the gym that it'll be no problem to go seven days a week. Stand up if this last one is you. Now sit down again, at least you've got a squat in today even if you haven't quite squeezed in that workout.

Now I'm not saying optimism is a bad thing; we need it to motivate ourselves and research has often found that working towards something positive is more effective than working away from something negative, and that people with a strong belief in themselves are often more likely to achieve. But sometimes we go too far and this can be as problematic as being too negative; what we need instead is to strike a nice balance.

So let's look at why it is in our nature as humans to overload ourselves with things to do and then repeatedly come up short? And after that we'll look at some possibilities to change in future.

Optimism feels good

It takes us to an imaginary place where everything is how we want it to be and that makes us feel good. Because we feel good we decide that's where we'd like to be instead and so we rush to get there, attempting to do everything all in one go. This can lead to a mismatch between our dreams and desires and our current situation and abilities. I'm sure you know it, I call it 'X-Factor Syndrome'. "I want to be the next Mariah Carey." And ok, that's cool, what's sometimes forgotten is how long and hard the journey is to get that far, let's just settle for singing in tune first and go from there; if we still want it, we keep working at it step-by-step, often for a long time to really master it.

Memory is always rose-tinted

If you've ever done something silly like a marathon, or other suitably big challenge, you'll know what I'm talking about here. You finish the race and you say it, you always do...'never again', and you mean it. You feel terrible, exhausted, your whole body hurts and you can't stomach food or drink. But as the days pass these aches and pains become less and you start to think, 'maybe it wasn't that bad?' Within two weeks you're trawling websites looking for future marathons because you're sure you can go faster, and then boom, you've entered! 

The same happens here, we forget that we took on too much and it didn't work, or we push it to the back of our minds or assign the failure to maintain our change as down to chance or something beyond our control. It may well have been; what we often don't do though is to look at why it didn't go as planned. What have I really learned? What needs to be different this time for me to get there? These are deep and painful questions sometimes, and we don't like to recognise 'failures' on our own part, although it is helpful to do so and even to look at them not as failures, simply as learning. 

We prefer it to feeling 'negative'

Even if we've had a go at something and it hasn't worked out, it's better not to be down about it, right? If we start saying things like 'I can't do that' these days, it's easy to be labelled as a pessimist or just being negative. Society puts a lot of pressure on us to be cheerful and upbeat, when sometimes we don't want to be, and actually, it's not always helpful to be. As with most things, it's about striking the right balance, it's not about saying 'that's impossible' or "I can never achieve things', it's about saying 'what's realistic to do right now given what's going on in life/work/at home.' In the long run, this can help us more than blind faith and endless positivity.

Thinking positively is a start...but it's doing that actually makes things happen

One thing I've discovered over the years is that sometimes we just don't feel very positive. Some days I wake up and think 'I can't be arsed to train today' or 'that plan I have for the business is useless.' I've worked with many clients too who turn up for sessions feeling down or tired or lacking belief they can achieve their goals. We work on the mantra of 'let's just do it anyway.' So we do some exercise or we eat well even if we're not feeling it, and lo and behold, our mood improves and we start to feel a bit more positive about things.

If you struggle with positivity, taking the 'just do it anyway' approach might help. It's certainly better than thinking positively but not doing something about it, that's just praying for luck and whilst sometimes it can happen, what you want becomes much more likely with doing.

Optimism prevents us from examining potential problems,  barriers and drawbacks

Being positive and believing things will work out in the end can stop us from examining why we haven't got there already. A reality check allows us to look more deeply at why we've not achieved the goals we set, and most importantly, create an action plan for the future.

So we've established that for many of us, it's in our nature to be overly optimistic and set ourselves up not to achieve. In fact, did you know there are even different types of optimists! Check them out here to see which you are, then come back quickly so we can do something about helping you to achieve lifestyle changes, or whatever else it is you're after.

What can we do about all this?

Firstly, let's state that it really depends on whether you think it's a problem or not. Are you happy as you are and the change you want is just an added bonus, but not that important? Or does it really frustrate you that you can't get to where you want to be? In which case, you must understand the things that bring about change. Change comes when:

1) I am confident that I can do it.

This is our self-belief. If we have high self-belief, sometimes known as self-efficacy (confidence in our ability to do a certain thing) then the likelihood of success increases. As we've been talking about in this article, it's not just about this though. Some X-Factor contestants have very high self-belief, but they lack in the other areas below, namely point 4! 

2) There is a reason or reasons for me to do it.

Seeing the values change brings can help us to change. It may be that we'll gain something important from doing so; energy, health, self-esteem, or we lose something by doing it; embarrassment, anxieties, a feeling of worthlessness, a health issue. 

3) It is important for me to do it.

This is the motivation bit. Knowing that there are benefits is not enough though; many people know that quitting smoking is good for their health, but they still don't do it. That's often because the thing they get from smoking they value more than their health, or at least equally as much. The change you want to make has to fit in with your values as a person for it be important enough to make the effort to change, or you must at least see how it benefits the things you value in a roundabout way. For example, someone may not value their health, but they may highly value their family and feel it's important to spend quality time with them, so they're driven to change because they know their family are worried about them or they wish to be able to continue to provide for them.

4) I have the skills and resources to be able to do it.

The final piece in the jigsaw is about the things you can actually do, your skills. I can believe that I can win the X-Factor all I want, but if I can't sing there's a fair chance it ain't going to happen (I might still make the final 12 in some years though)! It may well be that I need to develop some skills, or at least consider which ones I'll need to use. I need to think about the resources I have to do the job; do I need time, money or support from someone else with the skills I lack?

Bearing all of this in mind, here's your 5 point change checklist. Try it for me now with a lifestyle goal you're looking to work on; grab a pen and paper and follow these steps:

1. Pick a change (remember, less is more, get this one done first and then come back to do the others later)

2. Ask yourself how confident you are that you can achieve it on a scale of 0-10. Write down why you chose this number and not a lower one?

3. Write down all the good things you'll get from this change.

4. Write down why you want to make the change now.

5. List the skills and resources you need to make this change. If you don't have any on your list, write next to them how you can get them or who you'll need to help you, there's nothing wrong with asking for help.

A few other pointers for you too; look back at what's gone wrong in the past when you've tried to do this (or something similar if doing it for the first time). Be honest, or better still, ask someone you know to tell you why they think you didn't succeed. Then come up with some ideas for how you can get over this hurdle this time.

And if you're sat there feeling like you can't achieve your goal, you can always change it you know, or change the answers to any of the questions, or just crack on and do it anyway like we said before, as you get closer so will your belief rise.

I'd love to hear how you get on with your goals in the comments box below, or if you have any questions you'd like to ask.

balance on...barriers

                                              Image courtesy of ddpavumba at Freedigitalphotos.net

Barriers, obstacles, challenges, problems, hurdles, difficulties, road blocks, impediments, hitches, snags or drawbacks. Whatever you call them, we all face them in many aspects of life and they often appear when we attempt to achieve our weight loss, health and fitness goals.

So what can you do about them? How do you get over them? Or round them, through them or even under them! What happens if you moved them out of the way instead, or got someone else to help you push them to one side? 

The truth is, there are many ways to overcome the challenges you face and achieve your goals. Hopefully this blog will provide you with a few ideas to help you get past yours and onwards to what you want.

First things first, you need to identify what the challenges will be, or may be when working towards your goals. How can you know this? You’re not psychic, you don’t have a crystal ball or a time machine, well it’s unlikely you do! So how do you identify these barriers?

          1) Think about things that have got in the way if you have tried to achieve the same or similar        goals in the past, what were they?

          2) Think about your life, what things take up your time? This doesn’t make them bad things, it just means that they may limit your ability to focus all of your efforts on you and what you want.

          3) Look forwards. Imagine yourself doing your new exercise routine, eating more healthily, getting to bed early, drinking plenty of water. What situations, scenarios, times and places might make it challenging to do these things?

Hopefully now you have a list of at least a couple of things that may get in the way. These may be common barriers like lack of time, work or family commitments, financial constraints, motivation and times of temptation or something more personal to you.

Failing to plan is planning to fail

Now you have your list of likely barriers, you’ve taken the first step towards overcoming them already! Just knowing that they might happen means that when they do you can say ‘I knew that was going to happen.’ Maybe you are psychic after all?

But the best thing about knowing what could go wrong is that you can plan in advance some methods for getting around, over, under or through these obstacles and challenges. And now is as good a time as any to start planning so you will need:

• A piece of paper and a pen (or an iPad, laptop or you’re phone if you’re more technologically minded).

• Lots of positivity and creativity!

• A cup of tea.

The three things method

For each of the barriers that you have identified, write down at least three ideas for how you can overcome them. They can be absolutely anything at all, it really doesn’t matter. If you have more than three ideas then fantastic. If you struggle to think of anything, ask yourself if you have ever had a problem. What did you do to overcome it? What skills or tactics can you take from it that you may be able to use here?

Once you have your methods, number them in order of preference as to which you think is best. If you have more than three that’s fine, just keep numbering them from favourite to least favourite.

You are now armed with a raft of solutions, so when those challenges come this is exactly what they will be, not problems, as you already have solutions. You have the ladder to get over the wall or the sledgehammer to knock it down. You have the raft to get across the river and you have the rope to climb your mountain.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net

It’s important that your perception of challenges changes to. You can see it as a threat, something that will come along and defeat you or you can see it as an opportunity, something that will make you rise to the very best you can be, performing amazingly in the face of adversity. A sportsperson may see a big event as a scary thing where they could get beaten, or they can see it as the chance for them to show just how good they are on the biggest stage. It’s time to find your very best you!

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net

Enjoy the journey.

balance your life, balance your scales

balance on…………block rocking' beats

Do you run faster as soon as your favourite tune starts playing on your MP3 player? Do you find extra energy in your class when those block rocking’ beats start playing? Many people will tell you that music makes a huge difference to their mood, energy levels and exercise routine. But does the science back this up?

Yes!

Music increases the work output in people exercising at sub maximal intensities.


I feeeeeeeeeel good!

Mood and psychological state are improved or increased with moderate to intense exercise.


Keep on running!

Music has been shown to decrease the perceived effort during exercise and also in some studies to increase time to exhaustion. Basically some people can go further before they tire if they are listening to music.


Easy like a Sunday morning.

Music is well-known for its relaxing effects, well as long as it is calming (heavy rock or hard house does not have the same effects)! Some exercise studies have suggested that it may aid muscle relaxation and decrease lactate production, allowing people to train harder for longer.


Push it……

So it seems clear that exercise may well play a major role in helping you to train harder and longer, and make you feel good along the way. The key it seems is in listening to music that you enjoy. Some studies have suggested that calming music can improve endurance (Copeland and Franks, 1991) whilst others suggest that more upbeat dance music may act as a distraction and help to increase endurance at lower intensities (Yamashita et al, 2006).


I like to move it, move it

So get that I-Pod exercise playlist on, turn up the radio, take your MP3 player to the gym or if you’re feeling old skool, put on a CD, get that mix tape in the Walkman or even get the needle on that gramophone!!!

Choose music that you enjoy and pick tracks that link to the goals of your workout. If you’re going long and steady relaxing music may help, but if you want a big session then loud and heavy may be the way to go!

The right music can mean that Sunday, Monday are happy days, Tuesday, Wednesday happy days, Thursday, Friday happy days, Saturday what a day, Trainin’ all week with you!!

Rock on. Move.

Yours……….balance