Be a collector of healthy habits

When I was a kid, I loved collecting all sorts of things. I had collections of stickers, playing cards, beer mats, small china animals (the type you get from gift shops in seaside resorts), and Liverpool FC badges. Each time we went to a game at Anfield, my dad would buy me one from the stalls that lined the streets on the way into the ground. And yes, I was also a rather avid collector of stamps! But, to be fair to me, they were special ones - the First Day Covers that commemorated the release of a new set of stamps or that marked special occasions like the anniversary of D-Day or the Queen's birthday.

OK, that's probably too much information about stamps. But there is a reason why I'm telling you about my geeky childhood - healthy habits.

As I'm sure you know by now, I'm a big believer in developing healthy habits. Why? Because of the principle of 'Reversibility'. Or put more simply, the 'if you don't use it, you lose it' principle. Mostly you hear about this principle in relation to exercise. If you stop being active, then you lose your hard-earned fitness gains. But, the truth is it applies to every single healthy habit going. You cannot store physical or mental health, fitness, and wellbeing for very long. It's a bit like looking after a plant. You must feed and water it regularly to ensure it survives and grows. In the same way, you must keep feeding and watering your body and mind with healthy habits. Only that way can you thrive.

So what? That sounds fairly obvious.

It does. And it is. But that doesn't mean that we humans are very good at following the principle. On the contrary - we often find ourselves trying hard to take up one healthy habit or another, only to give it as soon as something goes wrong.

If you want to find lasting wellbeing, you have to find another way. I believe that way lies in thinking of yourself as a collector. Your challenge in life is to collect as many healthy habits as you can along the way. You might review how you're doing in the same way that children compare their sticker collections in the playground: 

    'Got, got, got, need.' (Children of the 80s and 90s will know what this means).

Take a moment to look at your lifestyle - highlight the healthy habits you already have in place, and then pick a new one, a 'shiny one', that you want to collect next. I say a 'shiny one' because those were the stickers we desperately wanted for our albums when we were kids. It was always football stickers that I collected. The shiny ones were usually the club badges, and I thought they looked amazing!

As kids, we never gave up until every gap in our sticker album was filled. And that's the way you have to see collecting healthy habits. It's a lifelong quest to collect more and more. And unlike stickers, you can also refine the ones you have already collected. If there are no new habits that you want or feel able to work on right now, is there anything you can do to improve an existing one just one per cent more?

Working on healthy habits has to be a lifelong quest because, as I've already mentioned - if you stop practising any one of them, you lose the benefits. Yes, you have the choice to give up, to stop one healthy habit or another, or even all of them. But are you sure you want to? Or do you know that in a few weeks, you'll regret it and want to start again? Only with even more work to do to get back to where you were - like a real-life game of snakes and ladders.

In reality, your wellbeing is one giant game of snakes and ladders. Sometimes you're doing well, climbing the rungs each day, and feeling great. At other times things are tough, and you're sliding down the back of that slippery serpent. When that happens, you have to learn to go again. Winning comes from being determined, stubborn, never giving up, trying with everything you have, forever. 

What will you collect next?

That's my question for you today. And I don't mean stamps! What's next on your healthy habits list?

Portion control...seven simple tricks to get into the habit

How can I eat less? I’ve probably been asked this question more than any other in my twenty years in the fitness industry. In times gone by I’d have probably talked about the importance of counting calories, weighing food, measuring out portions etc, and whilst they’ll certainly work, there are other, quicker, niftier little tricks you can use to ensure you don’t over-indulge. Here are a few of my favourites, taken from a mixture of scientific studies, my own thoughts and tricks my clients have taught me over the years.

Share and share alike

When it comes to takeaways and eating out, you’ll often find yourself with a massive portion that you just can’t eat. Fish and chips is a prime example, you’re sure that they’ve illegally battered a whale and wrapped it in paper for you. Why not just order one portion between two? You can also use this technique in pubs and restaurants; have a main meal each but share starters or desserts. It sounds simple but it literally halves the calories you could have consumed if you’d gone it alone.

The only issue you may have is if you’re like this guy!

The Rule of 3

Here’s one for buffets and takeaways - real danger spots when it comes to portion control; choice means calories. There’s a large element of FOMO at work here, you really must try a bit of everything just in case it’s amazing. Chinese and Indian takeaways are also notorious - you always order too much and even if you can’t eat it all, you don’t want it to go to waste so you stuff in as much as possible before you’re literally ready to burst.

With the Rule of 3 this won’t happen - you simply limit yourself to just three choices. Your absolute favourite things maybe, or possibly three different options every time if you’re an adventurous soul.

Halve it

Do you always have two slices of toast? Do you butter both of sides of the bread when making a sandwich? For that matter, do you use two slices of bread to make the sandwich? If so, try going halves. One slice of toast, butter only one side of your sarnie, or even take on slice of bread, cut it in half and cut your portions and calories in the process. Equally, if you know you normally spoon yourself two portions of roasties with Sunday lunch or two scoops of ice cream with dessert, you can cut one of these in half instead.

This doesn’t need to be an extreme measure; it’s certainly not something to do at every meal but done at times when you know you normally over-indulge or for just one meal each day, it can gradually add up to an effective change.

Get stuffed

In a nice way I mean; healthier food choices are generally higher in fibre and therefore more filling. Snacking on carrot sticks before a carb-heavy dinner can help you feel fuller quicker and control your eating. Celery or pre-dinner salads have the same effect.

All of the suggestions so far work, but they require willpower. If you want to make it easier to eat less, you can physically alter your eating environment using the following tips.

Is it small, or just far, far away?

Those of you’ve followed balance for a while know I’m a big fan of this one - it’s known as the Delboeuf Illusion. It’s all about perception; in much the same way that Dougall is confused about the proximity of the livestock in Father Ted.

Take a look at the image below from my book The Complete Guide to Weight Loss - which of the inner circles is the biggest?

If you’ve seen it before, you’ll know they’re the same size; if not that may come as something of a surprise. Even when you do know, it takes effort for your brain to overrule your eyes - the one on the left clearly looks bigger. The (apparent) size of the inner circle is directly related to the size of the larger outer one; the smaller the outer circle the bigger the one in the centre appears.

When it comes to plate and bowl size, this works wonders for making you feel full. Food tends to pile up when you use smaller china, also giving the appearance that there is more. And when you think there’s more, you feel full more quickly - downsize your plates and downsize your appetite.

Split it up

How often do you open a large bag of crisps, have a few, feel satisfied and put the rest away for another day? What about sweets? Biscuits? Or anything that comes in large portions for that matter. The human brain is incredibly poor at judging how many calories you have actually eaten - we all like to believe that we can total up how much we’ve had as we go along, stopping when we’re full. The reality is that we eat what’s there; maybe it’s still harking back to a time when if we had an opportunity to gorge, we took it, unsure when we might have that possibility again.

So what’s the solution? We have to prepare our food in such a way that it is much harder to eat more - portion things out into tupperware tubs or bags, buy smaller packets or multi-packs where at least the items are separately wrapped. You’re less likely to eat six small packets of crisps in one sitting than you are to much down a giant sharer bag. Having to stop and open a new packet acts as a natural pause; time to consider your choices. We also tend to naturally assume that if something is wrapped in its own packet then by default that is a sensible portion to consume.

Make it inconvenient

Want to eat less of something? Place it on a higher shelf, put it at the back of the cupboard or fridge, pop it in a drawer at work, better still, a lockable one and then place the key on the other side of the room. Use the method I mentioned above of individually wrapping foods so that it requires more effort on your part to get at it.

Studies have shown that people will eat considerably less peanuts when they come in their natural ‘monkey nut’ form with shells still on, compared to when they’re covered in shelled, covered in salt and conveniently placed in a giant bag for you. Usually laziness is a problem when it comes to weight control but here you can use it to your advantage to reduce your portion sizes.

You’ll have your own tools and techniques for controlling how much you eat; please do share them in the comments below to help others find their balance.

What would a perfectly balanced day look like?

If finding your balance is all about repeating good habits over time, then the first step is to work out what one perfectly balanced day looks like, and then repeat it as often as possible.

Let’s have a look at what that nicely balanced day might contain…

1. Seven to nine hours of sleep. According to the National Sleep Foundation, most adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep each night. That means the perfect day actually starts the evening before, going to bed at the right time in order to meet your requirements. One scientific study even went so far as to calculate the ideal time to get out out bed - apparently it’s 7:22. The researchers found that people who rose at or after this time had lower levels of cortisol, possibly because it enabled them to get adequate amounts of sleep.

2. The ideal breakfast. Some would argue for porridge; the oats and low Glycemic Index serving to fill you up and energise you throughout the day. If your dietary choices allow for them though, you can’t go wrong with eggs. They’re packed full of important proteins to stave off hunger and increase alertness, there’s vitamins for a healthy body and good fats to keep your brain and heart in peak working condition. A study by Direct Line, yep the ones with the musical phone, found that giving yourself 22 minutes to enjoy your breakfast in a calm environment was optimal.

3. The work bit. Dan Buettner, author of The Blue Zones, a book about why it is that people in certain parts of the world live longer, happier lives, has reviewed research on more than 20 million people worldwide through the Gallup-Sharecare Well-Being Index, and says “When it comes to your work, try to work part-time, 30–35 hours a week.” Working less is consistently linked to increased health and happiness, but maybe surprisingly, doesn’t seem to affect productivity - people get the same amount done in less time. A working day starting at 9/9:30 and finishing around 4/4:30 would meet these requirements comfortably.

4. Free time. Returning to the Direct Line survey, they claimed we should all have 6 hours 59 minutes of awake, non-work or ‘free’ time. This includes 18 minutes on social media (some of us may need to work on this one), 2 hrs 21 minutes eating, including 53 mins for lunch, 1 hour for TV watching and another hour for ‘me’ time.

5. Exercise. In terms of cardiovascular activity, the current guidelines are actually based on weekly totals - either 150 minutes of moderately hard exercise or 75 minutes of very hard training; working harder gives the benefits in half the time. As a daily average, that equates to around 21 minutes, 30 seconds of moderate activity, or 10 minutes 45 seconds of hard effort. A very short amount of time for a very large level of reward.

6. Socialising and family time. Back to Direct Line world again, where everyone is comprehensively insured. Their report suggested we get 45 minutes-1 hour of socialising each day and research is clear; people who spend more time with friends live longer, happier lives. Another hour is given for quality family time, whether you want it or not. ;-)

7. Bedtime. And so we’re back where we started, where all days start and end. Matthew Walker, author of Why We Sleep, says that whilst there’s no specific time to get to sleep, there does appear to be an idea window somewhere between 8pm and 12 midnight. As I talked about right at the start, it’s worth working backwards to ensure you get your 7-9 hours. If you’re getting up at 7:22 this means anywhere from 10:22-12:22 should be fine. If you’re a night owl you may shift this later if you can rise at your own leisure, whilst if you’re a morning lark you’ll likely want to shift this forwards.

And there we have it, seven habits for a balanced day. Repeat them often enough and health, fitness and happiness are just around the corner. :-)

How long do habits take to form?

It’s 21 days right? Everyone knows that. Those of you who are qualified Personal Trainers and/or have studied the Stages of Behaviour Change model might be saying ‘isn’t it 6 months until you’ve made a permanent change?’

A study of 96 people at University College London came up with some different answers. Participants were asked to choose just one health behaviour to turn into a habit; maybe adding a piece of fruit to their diet or increasing their daily step target for example. On average it took 66 days for a habit to become automatic; one person took just 20 days for drinking water with a meal, a 10-minute morning walk took 50 days for another, whilst one had’t manage to form a habit of sit-ups in the morning by day 84. Indeed, simple habits seemed to be formed very quickly in a matter of weeks (18 days was the quickest), whereas harder ones were estimated to take just over eight months. Missing single opportunities to build new habits did not affect the overall chances of them forming; this is great news as it means there’s no reason for you to give up if you don’t manage a perfect transition to your newly desired habit straight away.

So where does the 21 days thing come from? In the 1950s a surgeon, Dr Maxwell Maltz, was interested in how long it took patients to get used to the effects of their surgery, including everything from nose jobs to amputations. The answer? About three weeks. He then observed that this seemed true of many habits in his own life and the seed was sewn in much the same way that we believe that body language makes up 55 per cent of communication (that’s definitely not always true, but that’s for another time). He didn’t do any formal studies into it so it’s impossible to say how accurate his observations were. Single scientific studies, or even a sentence (or just part of one) can easily be picked up and become catchy soundbites that spread to all four corners of the earth. What Maltz actually said was that it probably took AT LEAST 21 days, so even he recognised right from the outset that the time it can take may vary.

How is a new habit formed?

A new habit is said to be formed when we reach automaticity; that’s the ability to do it without really having to think about it. All habits have three distinct stages:

1) A stimulus - the thing that causes us to initiate the habit. For example, your morning alarm can trigger you to perform a variety of actions.

2) A response - that alarm first and foremost will act a stimulus to get up; and that in turn can be the stimulus to head to the bathroom and brush your teeth, or to make a morning brew

3) A reward - you’ll be rewarded for brushing your teeth with that clean feeling and in the longer term, with healthier teeth and gums and Colgate advert modelling potential. Your tea or coffee will reward you with that kickstart you need to face your day.

Building habits in your brain is like creating a path through a field of corn. At first, there’s no discernible route through, but once you start to tread down a path, it gets easier each time to get across the field. And then why would you bother trying to make a new path. In the same way, the more a stimulus leads to a set response and the reward is consistently reaped, the more defined the neural path becomes, reaching a point where it fires instinctively as soon as the stimulus is sensed. This can be good, in that it stops you having to consciously think about something you do every day, saving time and energy, but also detrimental if you want to make a change. The habit is engrained and it can take time to build a new path.

You might be sat there thinking, ‘I’m not very good at forming habits’ - oh yes you are! Your whole life revolves around them. Do you go to work every day? Remember to take the kids to school? Eat dinner, always watch your favourite tv show, put your clothes on? Then you’ve formed plenty of habits. It can just take time to blend new ones in when you already have so many in place.

Some changes come instantly; for example if you touch a hot stove when you’re a child, it doesn’t take you 21 days to learn not to do it again. If the motivation is high enough, it is possible for new habits to form straight away. It’s usually the exception rather than the rule, with most taking time to bed in to your routine. Elliot Berkman PhD, Director of Neuroscience at the University of Oregon considers that there are three main things that determine whether a new habit is likely to be formed…

1) The availability of an alternative - he notes that it appears much easier to replace a habit with another one than to merely stop doing something. Good examples are Vaping or chewing gum rather than smoking, or having a soft drink with dinner rather than a glass of wine.

2) The strength of motivation - using smoking as an example again, some people find that they’re able to quit when they hear they’re going to become a parent, and weight loss can be inspired when you can no longer fit into your favourite clothes.

3) The ability to change - you may need certain skills or resources in order to change. If you have these or they’re easily available, change can be quick. If planning and effort are needed, say you need to buy things or learn a new skill to make it happen, change will be slower.

The good news

As the University College London study mentioned earlier showed, failure to perform a new habit perfectly from the off is not fatal. Author Toni Bernhard refers to doing something differently just once as laying down a small groove towards changing the neural pathway. Think of it like this - imagine a river flowing through a valley. It has a set pathway, but it begins to erode a small section off to one side. At first, only a tiny bit of water flows in, the rest holds it’s course. Over time though, the new flow begins to further erode the bank, sending more and more water along the new path, until eventually a whole new route is formed. If you can work away, bit by bit, you can form a new route too. And along the journey, if you’re doing something more than you were before, then you’re improving your health, fitness and happiness.

Remember the 3 pillars of balance:

1) Your health is largely the sum of your most frequent, recent behaviours - what you do each day makes the biggest difference.

2) You have the power to change - new habits can be formed at any time in life. Sometimes it will be easy, sometimes it won’t, but it’s always possible.

3) There is no failure, only feedback - it’s not about trying once and giving up. Change is an ongoing process; you learn from your mistakes and you improve. Even then, you’ll never be perfect. Some days will be better than others, but the aim is to work towards more balanced days, more often.

Look out for the launch of my free online animated challenge coming soon; Habits for a Healthier Planet (working title) where I’ll be inviting you to join me in making small changes that help to protect our wonderful world.

Habits to help beat depression

I’ve given many sessions over the years on mental health and wellbeing; it’s part of the courses I teach to Personal Trainers and I’m often asked to talk on the topic in workplaces too. I’ve written articles on it and done numerous pieces on social media, and in all of them, I’ve always argued that the statistic that 1 in 4 of us suffer mental health issues is just plain wrong. It’s undeniably 4 in 4; we all face challenges at some point or another, we don’t have or not have mental health problems, they simply slide up and down a scale. Sometimes we cope with them comfortably, at other times it’s harder.

In recent times, I’ve experienced what it’s like to be much further along that scale, challenged to the point that on some days it has gotten the better of me and I’ve felt unable to defeat it. Other days haven’t been so bad, and some have started well and got harder or started badly and become easier. I guess that’s the thing about it; the scale can move constantly.

What I have had to do though is to use my resources, the knowledge I have about things that might just help me move to a better place on the scale and bit by bit, I’ve found myself moving in the right direction again, back towards a better balance. Here are some of those things that have worked for me…

1) Do something small

One of the most powerful things about depression is its ability to leave you feeling flat, paralysed, unable to do anything. Even the most mundane of tasks can seem like a challenge and you can experience whole days unable to get anything done.

At this point, setting big, challenging goals might not be the best idea as they’ll often take sustained effort and it’s easy to lose motivation along the way, even when you manage to have a good day or even a good few days. Try instead using micro-goals, tiny stepping stone challenges you can set yourself to provide a sense of achievement. The great thing about achieving things, however small, is that your brain recognises it and fires off pleasure-giving chemicals as a reward. That’s why when people make lists, they put things on they’ve already done so they can tick them off straight away and get the feel-good factor response!

This reminded me of the ‘making your bed’ speech from the US Navy Admiral that went viral in recent times. His point is very clear, start small and take it one step at a time. If you have five minutes and you’ve never seen it, I’ve included it below for you. It’s well worth a watch.

2) Move

For people with mild to moderate depression the NHS says that exercise is known to have definite benefits. Studies suggest that the benefits, in particular of cardiovascular exercise, are comparable to medications or talking therapies. Depression often goes hand in hand with fatigue, but by using low-to moderate intensity exercise that you enjoy, you can actually increase your energy levels. Strange isn’t it? You’d assume that if you’re tired, exercise would only exacerbate this, but as long as it’s kept to a sensible level, it has the opposite effect.

There’s no need to worry about exactly what to do or how much to begin with, just pick something; it could be walking, dancing, jogging, swimming, yoga, weightlifting, gardening or anything else you enjoy. Aim to gradually build to up towards the 150-minutes per week of moderate intensity exercise recommended (if you work harder, every minute done counts double towards this target).

3) Even better, move outside

• Two thirds of volunteers for the Wildlife Trust, given tasks like helping to dig ditches or make bird tables, reported improved mental wellbeing within six weeks

• A Norwegian study of 30,000 participants found that just 1-2 hours movement outdoors each week could prevent depression

• In one study of those with depression, a short outdoor walk fared much better than an indoor session on an exercise bike, with participants larger reductions in depression and fatigue

• Exercising in green spaces has been shown to reduce the perceived difficulty of the exercise, increase people’s perception of their own health, leads to lower blood pressure after the workout when compared to exercise in urban environments, and also decrease stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol post-session too.

• Some studies have shown increased rates of depression in the darker months of the year and shown strong correlations between vitamin D levels and the ability to predict episodes of depression. Exposure to sunlight also affects hormone levels, your body’s ability to utilise energy stores, cell function, blood flow and your body clock, all of which can impact energy levels and mood

• Streams, rivers, lakes and the sea can also boost your mood. A study in Hong Kong showed that people who spent more time by natural water reported greater wellbeing and had a lower risk of depression. A review of studies into the subject identified 35 others that backed up these findings, consistently showing positive mental health and stress-reducing effects

Basically, my point is, get outside into natural light where there are trees, plants and water. Your body, and your mind love it!

4) Spend time with friends

When you’re feeling low, it’s common to withdraw. A 2012 study of 100 adults found that 20% had no contact with friends, 33% never interacted with their neighbours, 35% lived alone and 50% never attended social groups. The study supported these people to become more socially active through things like going to see a film, a play, a concert, visiting museums or simply going out for a coffee or a bite to eat. ALL of the 100 participants reported feeling better about themselves, having more confidence and experiencing less symptoms of depression.

People are ok, most of them anyway! ;-)

5) Choose healthier food and drinks whenever you can

A wide range of foods and drinks have been linked to depression, for better and worse. Things that might be helpful to increase include:

• Plant foods - fruit, vegetables, beans, legumes, herbs and spices (aim for your 5-a-day)

• Nuts/seeds - 1-2 handfuls per day

• Oily fish - 1-2 portions per week

• Wholegrains like unrefined rice and other grains, and lean proteins like chicken, turkey, eggs, yoghurt and soya produce - make these a staple part of most meals.

Minimise the more processed foods although there’s never a need to cut these out completely, it’s all about balance remember.

Summary

There are a range of habits that can help prevent or improve symptoms of depression. You can take actions that over time can lead you to a better place. Start small, remember that progress isn’t always linear, sometimes we have better days, sometimes worse, but that just the feeling of doing something can in itself boost your sense of confidence , mood and self-worth.

Why do habits stick?

Behaviours are things you do; habits are behaviours that you get into the ‘habit’ of performing time and again.

I’ve written a lot recently about the importance of building healthy habits in order to find your balance. That’s because health and fitness aren’t permanent, they improve as your health behaviours do and they worsen if you start to spend less time down the gym and more time up the pub.

Essentially, all of my work with clients is in helping them work out how they can increase their healthy behaviours, decrease their less healthy ones and turn these new actions into habits. But what is it that makes this most likely to happen?

The three bits of habits

Habits share three things in common:

1) They’re triggered by certain cues

2) After the cue, the behaviour (doing bit) occurs

3) They stick long-term because there’s some sort of reward for doing them

Cues (and behaviours that follow)

When you see a traffic light change to red, you hit the brakes and come to a stop (hopefully)! The colour of the light is the cue for your habit of pressing the middle pedal.

Cues come in various forms:

• Times - for example, it’s likely that most of you will brush your teeth just after getting up and going to bed, and when we eat certain meals and types of food is cued by the time of day

• Places - the dancefloor in your favourite club is likely where you’ll bust your moves, less likely is that you’ll get your groove on in the Post Office (unless you’ve watched the Full Monty recently)!

• People - it could be that your mate at work is the trigger for you to go for a pint after work, or your nan could be the trigger for cake consumption. Equally, you might have a running or gym buddy who’s a trigger for healthier habits

• Emotions - food and mood for example are inexorably linked. In fact, there are two types of hunger - homeostatic hunger is what you feel when you actually need calories; hedonistic hunger is when you want to eat because of your mood, it could be stress, tiredness, being upset or even feeling great that triggers you to chomp down the calories.

• Rituals - it’s Monday, you get up in the morning and go to work. You don’t debate it, even though you’d like to, you just go. Going to work has become a ritual and you have plenty more things that you just do because you always do. Some are routines that you do on autopilot because it’s much easier to spend most of your time not having to think about what you’re doing - driving being a great example. You change gear when you need to, indicate when required and know to put the handbrake on when you park.

Every day you’ll receive thousands of cues that lead you to respond in an almost automated way. You’ve programmed yourself to carry out specific behaviours in response to each one, and they’ve become habits.

Rewards

Rewards come in many guises; medals at the end of a race, the tingling of your taste-buds when you eat something you really like, the sense of satisfaction when you complete a challenging task like decorating a room, the happiness you get from helping others, that sense of relaxation when all the things on your to-do-list have been ticked off, or the buzz on your phone that lets you know your friends have contacted you.

They can be tangible things or feelings; and they may not always appear obvious. Ultimately it doesn’t matter what they are, as long as you feel they bring some gain, something positive to your life. When a behaviour leads to a rewards, much like in the original Pavlov’s Dog experiment, we repeat that behaviour hoping for and eventually expecting, the same outcome.

This reward mechanism is what makes certain habits so addictive; drugs, alcohol gambling, sugary foods - they all lead the brain to fire off a series of powerful chemicals including neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin and endocannabinoids. The latter have a role to play in mediating the effects of cannabis, hence their name and are also thought to play a significant part in ‘runner’s high’, the state of euphoria that many people feel from exercising. And by the way, the reason why they can become addicted to it and over-train - they love the reward so they repeat the habit regularly.

The three bits of habits in action

Take brushing your teeth as a simple example of a habit that sticks for most people. What are the cues? Well, early in life when the habit isn’t as well embedded, one of the main cues is your mum pestering you to brush your teeth. There’s also the visual reminder of the toothbrush and paste often sat in the glass in front of the bathroom mirror. You’re bound to see it when you visit the bathroom in the morning and before you go to bed, and it acts to remind you what you need to do. There’s also the time of day; you probably don’t brush your teeth when you go to the loo mid-morning do you, but the same visual cues are there, it’s just not the right time for the teeth-brushing thing.

On the rewards side, there are a few reasons why you continue to brush your teeth. The smile is a hugely important part of body language, hence why marketing companies have been able to sell us more and more things that help to keep our teeth white and our breath fresh. We like to be seen to have white teeth, it’s a sign of beauty and health; we want fresh breath when we’re talking to colleagues at work, when we’re with our friends and if we’re out on a date. So brushing your teeth might reward you with confidence, with self-esteem, with a successful outcome at a job interview, or on that date! You’re also rewarded by doing something to move away from the fear of having yellow teeth, or worse still, no teeth at all. Fear of cavities and gum disease is a big part of the reason why we brush twice a day. Then of course there’s the knowledge that your mum would be proud of you!!

What does this mean for your health?

We often focus our efforts on the specific health behaviour that we want to work on; drinking less alcohol, going to the gym more often; eating more vegetables, but maybe we spend less time on the other two parts of the habits triad - the cues and the rewards.

Try the following:

1) If you have a specific behaviour that you’d like to turn into a habit, create a cue for it. Here are a few ways you might do that…

• Anchor it to an existing habit. Your physio gave you some calf raises to do to help with that sore Achilles. She suggested doing them twice a day but you just haven’t gotten round to doing them. Try linking them to something that you know you’ll definitely do twice a day, like for instance, brushing your teeth.

• Use visual or audio reminders. Post-it notes, phone alarms, placing fruit on your desk at work or a water bottle on your bedside cabinet. Better still, put stuff in the way - kit bags in front of the front door, fruit on your car seat so you have to move it to sit down; anything that makes it impossible to ignore.

• Get others to cue you - go to exercise classes with a friend so that they’ll text to ask if you’re going or pair up with a work collage to act as support partners in the fight against the office cake culture.

2) Next, spend some time ensuring there’s a strong reward system in place for your new behaviour…

• List the rewards that you’ll get from doing the behaviour and remind yourself of these regularly. You can even print them out and stick them somewhere you’ll see them - that way they can act as both the cue and the reward

• Be accountable to someone - and make it someone who you want to impress. Being able to tell them that you’ve been doing well will fire off all this mood-boosting chemicals, rewarding you with your own happiness high

Get these two things in place and the behaviour itself is much more likely to happen, until eventually you perform it instinctively and then you’re in the habit.

Stay balanced,

Paul :-)

The 52 habits of balance

Part 2: eat

Last week I introduced you to the 15 habits that make up the think element of balance.

This time I’m going to give you a taste (pun very much intended) of the food and drink habits that I work on with my clients, highlighting seven I’d term ‘big rocks’, major behaviours to focus on. Some of them are about things you might want to do more often, whilst others are about things to consider doing less frequently.

Nothing is considered ‘good’ or ‘bad’, only better or worse. No foods are banned and you certainly shouldn’t feel guilty if you’re not perfectly balanced for all of the habits…very few people are (myself included).

So let’s go, score each habit and then afterwards, pick one that you feel you can work on to improve your balance.

Habit 1: Get your 5-a-day

Whilst there’s debate about how many portions of fruit and veg you should have, there’s good evidence that your health improves the more you get. Aim for a minimum of five portions a day, and get a good variety of types and colours over time.

Score:

1 point if you rarely eat fruit or veg at present

3 points if you often get close or sometimes you get your five, sometimes you don’t

5 points if you’re diet is always the colours of the rainbow

Habit 2: Go nuts and get a little seedy

Nuts and seeds provide a wealth of nutrients; protein, fibre and a wide range of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. Recommendations suggest we should have at least 1-2 handfuls every day.

Score:

1 point if you rarely eat nuts or seeds at present

3 points if you do so occasionally

5 points if nuts and seeds are a staple in your diet

Habit 3: Get the oh so mega Omega3

The essential fats found in high quantities in oily fish as well as flax and chia seeds, walnuts and soya beans, are as their name suggests, vital to your health. Healthy fats help to strengthen your immune system, prevent inflammation and help your brain to function at its best. We should aim to get at least 2 portions of fish every week with at least one of them being an oily fish like salmon, mackerel, herring or sardines.

Score:

1 point if you rarely eat fish, seeds or soya produce

3 points if you get one portion a week or don’t consistently have two

5 points if you regularly have two or more portions of fish a week or get your Omega 3 from alternative sources

Habit 4: Munch your wholegrains

Providing you with slow-release energy and plenty of fibre, wholegrains have been shown to keep your heart healthy, lower your cholesterol, look after your digestive system and help with weight management. An easy way to ensure you get the right amount is to aim for 6-8 cupped handfuls each day. That can include breakfast cereals, bread, rice, pasta, couscous, quinoa and other grains.

Score:

1 point if you rarely consume wholegrains

3 points if you have better and worse days or you have some every day but don’t hit the required portions

5 points if you regularly get your 6-8 portions a day

Habit 5: Daily dairy & alternatives

You’ll get plenty fo great things from dairy or alternatives like soya and alternative milks; protein, healthy fats, vitamin D, calcium and lots of other micronutrients. Research links them to better weight management, healthier bones and teeth, lower blood pressure and gut health. Aim for 3 portions a day, with a portion of milk or yoghurt the size of a clenched fist, and cheese equivalent to two thumbs.

Score:

1 point if you rarely get your daily dairy

3 points if you get some or hit your 3 portions on a few days each week

5 points if you’re king or queen of the dairy (or alternatives)

Habit 6: Hydrate and feel great

We all know we need to drink enough water. It makes up around half of your body and you’ll find it in every cell you possess. Figures vary on how much you need, with the average being around 1.6 litres for women and 2 litres for men, but food can contribute and exercise, age and environment can affect your needs. The easiest way to know you’re well hydrated is to check your pee colour. It should be light or straw-coloured; if it’s darker that suggests you’re dehydrated.

Score:

1 point if you know you don’t drink enough and your pee looks like Guinness

3 points if sometimes you’re well hydrated but not always

5 points if your water-bottle is like an extension of your arm

Habit 7: Alcohol

Some studies suggest that in small quantities there may well be cardiovascular health benefits but there’s much debate about this. What we do know for sure is that there’s no harm in not drinking and there’s definitely harm from having too much. A few years ago the guidelines were altered to be a maximum of 14 units per week for men and women, spread over the week with a few drink-free days.

14 units is roughly:

• 6 small glasses of wine

• 6 pints of standard strength beer

• 5 pints of standard strength cider

• 14 single shots of spirits

Score:

1 point if you are often over the 14 units per week, tend to drink lots in one go or rarely have drink-free days

3 points if you have better and worse weeks

5 points if you consistently meet the guidelines

How did you do?

Add up your scores, what was your total?

7-16: Out of balance at the moment

17-26: On the way to balance

27-35: Well balanced

Whatever you scored, if you feel there’s room for improvement and you’d like to do something about it, write down your answers to the following questions…

1) What is the one habit you’d like to work on?

2) What could you do to achieve that? List all the ideas you can think of, no matter what they are.

3) Pick your favourite three methods and number them 1, 2 and 3 in order of preference. This week, try method 1 and see how it goes. If it works then great, if it doesn’t, you have a ready-made back-up plan.

You know me by now; change is challenging and it requires a little effort on our part. Just by working through this you’ve shown you want to do something so good work. Give it a go and slowly work towards a better balance for you, it’s all about turning those behaviours into habits over time.

The 52 habits of balance

You may have read my recent blog on what balance is and what it isn’t. In that piece, I included the three fundamental principles of balance, including the first…

You are the sum of your most frequent, recent behaviours.”

Essentially, your health, fitness and happiness is most impacted by your habits, the things you do day in, day out. When interviewed, highly respected American Cardiologist Donald Lloyd-Jones cited research showing that even people over the age of 65 with existing heart disease could reduce risk of heart attacks by 45% through healthy habits.

The analogy I often use when explaining this to clients is the bullet and the gun. Some people have a higher genetic risk for certain medical conditions than others, with illnesses such as heart disease and type 2 diabetes common in their family. What this means is that the bullet is already loaded in their gun. For the bullet to be dangerous though, someone has to pull the trigger. The triggers in this case are lack of exercise, a poor diet, stress, alcohol, inadequate sleep, smoking and other behaviours. Leave the trigger well alone and you have a much higher chance of remaining fit and healthy.

Fifty two is a magic number

The number of white keys on a piano, the number of playing cards in a pack, the number of weeks in a year and now, the number of habits that make up the balance method.

I’ve spent years looking into all of the behaviours that could impact your overall wellbeing and as it stands, this is my total. They’re broken down across the four elements of balance; think, eat, live and move. Some are habits of the brain, some to do with eating and drinking, some from all aspects of your life from work to sleep, learning to socialising and some are exercise-related.

i’m not saying without a doubt that there aren’t more than 52, that would be naive and set me up to look foolish in future if and when I discover one. I remember reading the Stephen Covey book, ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’, (which by the way, is an awesome book) and then being somewhat disappointed a few years later when a sequel entitled ‘The Eighth Habit’ came out. I’ll keep looking and add other behaviours to the method if and when I find them, and you’ll be first to know of course!

Go on then…what are they?

I figured by now that you’re thinking ‘come on, get on with it, tell me what these healthy habits are then’. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do; just not all in one go. Fifty two things is a lot to take on board in and you know me, I'm all for breaking stuff down into more manageable chunks.

Over my next four blogs, I’m going to provide you with a short quiz where you can score yourself against the habits for each of the elements of balance. As everything always starts with a thought, in this first one we’re going to look at ‘think’, the 15 mind habits I’ve identified; the thinking and planning behaviours that those who successfully make lifestyle changes use to great effect.

The scoring system is simple; give yourself the following points based on whether there’s lots to be done, you’re getting there or you’ve got it nailed:

• Out of balance = 1 point

• On the way to balance = 3 points

• Perfectly balanced = 5 points

A score of 15-29 points means there’s a fair bit of work you can do, 30-55 points suggests you’re on the way to a good balance, and 56-75 points means you’re well balanced.

Before you even decide to make a change…

1) Do you have a clear idea of your values? By this I mean the things most important to you in your life. You’re likely to be more successful with attempts to get fitter and healthier if you make sure that any changes you make are in line with your values. If they conflict then it’ll be much harder to stick with them.

2) Are you really sure that you want to change? Sounds like a daft question doesn’t it? Thing is, sometimes we do want something different, but part of us also wants to cling on to the habits we have now. We know we need to cut down our alcohol but we’re concerned we’ll lose our social life, we want to stop smoking but it relaxes us, or we want to do more exercise but we’re embarrassed about joining a gym. That’s why I made this one of the habits; it’s important to spend a little time weighing up the pros and cons of change and making an informed decision. It doesn’t matter whether you decide to change or not at that time, but you know the decision is the right one.

When planning for change…

3) Do you have a goal that is clear, challenging and exciting? Knowing exactly what you’re after and being excited about what it will be like to achieve are great for motivation. It’s important that your goal doesn’t feel too easy either; studies suggest that something we really have to work for pushes us to strive harder to make it happen.

4) Do you know where you’re starting from? Do you take some form of measurement that you can track over time; weight, shape, fitness, mood or something else that let’s you know how far you have to go and if you’re making progress?

5) Do you focus on the process? Many people will have a clear idea of what they want, but it’s equally as important to know the actions to take to make it happen. These are known as Process Goals, for example, Usain Bolt wanted to be the fastest man on Earth but his process goals were set around how many training sessions he should do a week, the foods he should eat, hours sleep required and the other habits he had control of that could ultimately influence the outcome.

And when you’re actually making a change…

6) Do you do one thing at a time? Knowing the actions you need to take is one thing, prioritising which you need to work on is another entirely. Often, especially at this time of year, we make all sorts of commitments to change. It’s easy to be overconfident or just want to change so much that we try to do too much in one go. Focusing on just one thing at a time is a surefire way to increase your chances of success.

7) Do you identify the challenges you might face along the way and plan ahead for how you’ll deal with them? Pre-empting what could go wrong and identifying solutions can give you confidence when it doesn’t all quite go to plan. Many will fall at the first hurdle, but if you know it’s coming and have a way around, under or over it, then it’s much more likely you can stay on track.

8) Do you create an environment for change? What do I mean by this? Do you set things up that make it easier to change and harder to stay the same? For example, if you want to do more exercise, do you get your gym kit ready the night before and put your bag right in front of the door so that you’ll definitely pick it up on the way out? Or do you make sure there are no crisps in the house if you’re looking to cut down?

9) Do you use nudges or reminders to keep yourself on track? This could be post-it notes, alerts on your phone, pictures on the fridge or whatever it is that keeps your goal and actions right at the forefront of your mind.

10) Do you check your progress regularly? I mentioned taking starting measurements earlier; do you also have a schedule in place for checking how you’re getting on? Weekly weigh-ins, monthly fitness tests, or apps to track your food or exercise daily?

11) Do you get by with a little help from your friends? Do you have a support crew in place? People who can assist, remind, cajole, motivate, encourage and sometimes kick you up the backside? It’s much more likely you’ll succeed when you don’t go it alone.

12) Are you accountable to someone? Much like having a support crew, having to check in with someone about your actions or progress can be a fantastic tool for success. None of us like telling someone we’ve failed and so having a little pressure on you can make a major difference.

13) Is there an element of competition? It could be against yourself or someone else but competing is another way of helping you to up your game when it comes to achieving your goals.

14) Do you have rewards in place for success? Regularly rewarding yourself for reaching milestones along the way is a great idea. It gives you a boost of the neurotransmitter dopamine, making you feel good and increasing your confidence and desire to keep going. It also helps to make a big goal feel smaller with clear marker posts en route. Just be careful not to reward yourself too much with tasty stuff; using food and drink as a reward can lead to a cycle where you feel you need them to feel good.

15) Do you have bouncebackability? For me, this is the biggest of all the habits. The ability to keep going even when it’s not gone as you’d liked recently, to adapt and try a new method should the previous one have failed, is the difference between success and failure. It’s going to take time, it won’t be straightforward but you will make it if you persist.

How did you do?

What are the scores on the doors? Whatever you’ve scored, is there one behaviour that you feel you could do more often, turning it into a habit that will make you fitter, healthier and happier?

Three tips for balanced New Year's Resolutions

Here we go again!!

Christmas has been and gone and it’s January, the time of year when we we all feel like we should decide to do something differently. Maybe it just seems like a good time for a fresh start; the past can be filed away under ‘well, that was last year’ and new goals, opportunities and dreams feel like things that can take its place.

But you’ve heard the scare stories right? People fail when they set New Year’s resolutions. One often quoted piece of research from Scranton University claims that just 8% of people stick to resolutions, a poll for BUPA in 2015 reported that about 12% of Brits successfully kept to resolutions that year, with 66% giving up inside a month. Then Strava said last year that the second Friday in January was the day when motivation was likely to wain, lovingly referred to in the press as ‘Quitters Friday’.

It’s as if they’re trying to tell us that goals set at the start of a year are somehow less likely to succeed. Why would that be? What mystical powers does the month of January hold that doom our plans to fail? Maybe our resolutions are over-reactions to a few weeks of unhealthy behaviour; we determine to banish ourselves of these heinous habits and then, after a few weeks of doing so, balance is restored and we simply return to the middle ground. In that sense, we’re not failing, rather we’re balancing out (mentally at least) the unhealthiness of December.

Or maybe it’s how we’re setting the resolutions. Maybe we’re being overly optimistic and trying to change too much in one go. Possibly we’re not being clear enough about what we want and so it’s hard to judge if we’re being successful or not. Only you’ll know the reasons why yours have or haven’t worked, but below I’ve offered three suggestions that might help you to be a little more successful with this year’s attempts.

1) Have a good reason

If you’re going to make significant changes to your lifestyle and stick to them, you need strong motivation to do so. Setting yourself a challenging goal for the year ahead can kick your bum into gear to do the things you need to. It might be entering a race of some kind, setting a weight loss target, a strength goal or health-related. If there’s an important reason behind it; raising money for a charity close to your heart, building your self-confidence or staying healthy so you can enjoy time with your family, there’s a strong driver at the wheel steering you towards your goal.

2) Forget New Year’s Resolutions; think Weekly or even Daily instead

One of the things I like most about New Year’s Resolutions is that they’re generally focused on things we’re actually going to do. As you know, one of the three key principles of balance is that you are the sum of your most frequent recent behaviours; put simply it’s the things you do regularly that determine your health, fitness and wellbeing.

The problem is that by thinking of them as tasks for the year ahead, they begin to feel daunting. A year seems a long time and so our confidence in sticking to resolutions is often low. This is where the art of ‘chunking’ comes in to its own, breaking the year down into smaller, more manageable parts. Not eating chocolate for a day or taking part in Dry January all seem a bit more doable and there’s lots of evidence that people who take part in shorter challenges tend to continue behaving more healthily after they’ve finished.

I’ve set myself a target to cut down on the sugary foods I enjoyed daily over the Christmas break, targeting no more than 3 per week. My first and only goal is to achieve that this week, then I’ll evaluate ahead of the following week.

3) Be like a rubber ball; develop bouncebackability

Another of the key principles of balance is that there is no failure, only feedback. Giving up always guarantees you won’t get what you’re after, but by utilising the chunking technique I’ve just discussed, you can wash over bad days and even bad weeks, reset and go again. Say you only manage to drink more water on three days in the first week, that’s still three more than before. Next week target four, and so on. If you’re halfway through a week and the plan has gone horribly wrong, challenge yourself to see how many times you can achieve it in the remaining days.

Groups like alcoholics anonymous often use the ‘one-day-at-a-time’ mantra and it’s brilliant, it means that every day can be New Year’s Day, a fresh start.

I wish you all the very best with your goals and challenges in 2019. If I can be of any help, please do get in touch. Oh and if you fancy taking on a fitness challenge, remember we have a range of walks and rides you can take on and help raise money for some fantastic charities in the process! Check them out here.

Here’s to a balanced year!

Paul

What is balance...and what is it not?

What is balance?

 What does balance mean? In the dictionary it’s defined as…

         ‘a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions’

or

                  ‘to put something in a steady position so that it does not fall.’

Both are important in describing my concept of balanced living. My original PT business at the turn of the century was called motiv8; it was the in-thing at the time to use numbers in place of letters! I was young, keen to inspire people and I was very focused on high energy sessions with lots of encouragement. At my busiest point, I worked 16 hours a day Monday-Friday, 12-16 sessions a day on average, and I often worked Saturday and Sunday too. The 80-100 hour weeks took their toll, with me sometimes cramming in flapjacks or pasta whilst my clients warmed up, just to get some food on board, and often running 10-20 miles a day with clients too. I picked up injuries and eventually burned myself out, becoming completely exhausted. I’d lost my balance.

I learned a lot about my own body from this experience and my clients also helped to educate me through my work with them. I learned that what worked for one person didn’t always work for another, that different things motivate some but completely put others off. I learned that there were so many factors that went into whether someone succeeded or not and that my job was to be a sort of detective, listening out for the things that seemed like they may be important for that person. I also started to understand that each of our perceptions of health, fitness and wellbeing is different and that my job was to help someone achieve theirs rather than push my own or someone else’s belief’s onto them. I learned that exercising hard wasn’t always the best option; in fact I learned that sometimes exercise wasn’t even the best option! Clients who’d had emotional days were exhausted and needed a cup of tea and a chat rather than a workout. I learned that the recommendations for exercise are just guidelines, a framework on which to build. I had one lady who used to do 15-minutes with me every week, not hard but just something. She rarely did anything on her own in the week and a number of the PT’s used to ask me what the point was. I guess in my head the point was, that was what she felt she could do at that time and that something is always better than nothing. What was the alternative? To tell her not to bother doing any exercise at all? Or encourage her and gradually help her improve on it over time?

Through all of these experiences; with my clients and learning how my own body responded to exercise and tiredness and stress, the word ‘balance’ seemed to keep popping up. I’d talk about it in conversations about diet and exercise programmes, about sleep and workload. I started to work on some writing about it, which went on to form the majority of my book The Complete Guide to Weight Loss.

Over the years it developed into a sort of philosophy, with key pillars and principles and when I launched my second business in 2012, there was only one possible name for it. Ever since, I’ve used them to help many people get themselves fitter, healthier, happier and most importantly, stay that way. In that sense, just like the dictionary definition, it is very much about helping you not to fall, and also about how to help you get back to better balance if you do.

So what is it, and what it is not?

Let’s start with what it definitely is not. It most definitely isn’t…

• Based on fads, gimmicks and quick fixes. There’s no 9-day, 21-day, 28-day or 12-week plan that suddenly comes to an end and leaves you wondering, ‘what now?’

• Being on a diet you don’t enjoy, where foods are banned or restricted and you know you won’t stick to it. In fact. it’s not about anything that makes you feel bad or guilty or not worthy.

• Treating foods and drinks as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, they’re neither. Some are worse for us if we have too much and some are better and we should have more of them. Genetics and the situation both impact whether a food is better or worse for you; for example, someone at risk of diabetes needs to eat less high sugar foods, but a Mars Bar becomes a good food 20 miles into a marathon

• Doing exercises that you hate or feel uncomfortable with. There are many ways to get fit and as long as you follow the principles of a balanced routine, you can choose the one that works best for you

• Getting fit or lean at the expense of health. No extremes required here

• One size fits all. As you’ve seen in the previous points, we’re all different, so balance is more about general principles than rules. I’d look incredibly stupid very quickly if I told you that this definitely works and that doesn’t, because one of you out there would be able to provide evidence to the contrary from your own experiences.

Instead, this is what balance is…

It’s based on three key principles…

1) You are the sum of your most frequent recent behaviours

Certain things you should do more often, like exercise and eating your greens, whilst some need doing less, like drinking alcohol or sitting down, if you’re to achieve health, fitness and happiness.

Consistency is key. It’s about doing them day in, day out, as without this your health and fitness starts to fall away, and it’s why making small, gradual changes is better as it means you’re much more likely to stick to them. No behaviours are ‘good’ or ‘bad’, only better or worse. For example, smoking one cigarette isn’t great, but it won’t cause you much long-term harm if you never have another. Foods and drinks aren’t ‘good’ or ‘bad’ either, what’s helpful for one person may not be for another, we know this from the uniqueness of food allergies, as the saying goes ‘one man’s food is another’s poison’ and from how some achieve great success on one type of diet, whilst others find it doesn’t help them at all. As with other behaviours, eating one chocolate bar or cake, or even one occasionally, isn’t the problem, it comes down to the amount we consume and how frequently. All health behaviours sit on a scale, with better or worse alternatives. The aim is simply to do the better ones more often.

The behaviours encompass a holistic approach. For total wellbeing, you need to work on your mindset, nutrition, lifestyle and exercise, which is why I created the ‘think’, ‘eat’, ‘live’ and ‘move’ pillars that underpin the balance approach. Balance always uses the available research to provide information on all of these areas that is considered trustworthy and current best practice, but always ensures that it’s relevant to you, jargon-free and easy-to-understand.

2) You have the power

That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but there is always a way to change your behaviours. That way will be different for everyone and based on your situation, what motivates you and what’s within your capabilities at that time. The balance goal is to act like a sherpa, guiding you towards the right behaviours and helping you to understand the things you need to do to make them happen, but never being too prescriptive or telling you that you must do it this way or that. I know from experience that adults are the biggest children; they don’t do what they’re told! With the right guidance and support though, anyone can achieve better health, fitness and wellbeing.

3) There is no failure, only feedback

As there’s no right or wrong way, there can be no failure, only learning over time. It would be naïve to think with such a wide range of health behaviours and complex lives that the first thing we try will always work. What is absolutely true though is that giving up NEVER works; as you know it’s all about finding a way to carry out the better behaviours more consistently over time, that way lies the path to better balance.

How do you know when you’re well balanced?

Firstly, think of it like a scale, something that you move up and down rather than something that you either have or don’t. If you’re moving further along the scale towards better balance, then you’ll be in a place where:

• you look the way you want to, feel good in yourself, have energy and self-confidence

• both your physical health and mental wellbeing are good and you feel in control, able to maintain it and get back on track should something get in the way

• you sleep well and wake feeling rested and energised on most days

• you have the energy to do the things you love and spend quality time with family and friends

• you eat what you want because you want it, not because you’re tired or stressed or feeling low. It’s about really enjoying foods free of guilt, knowing you can say no to food and understanding that you can eat and drink anything if consumed in the right amounts

• you feel able to cope with the stresses in your life, finding ways to switch off from them and have mechanisms in place that relax you and keep you healthy

• you have a good mix of exercise that you really enjoy and that fits into your daily life.

Most of all, you know when you’re well balanced when you have the right balance of behaviours that give you the outcomes you’re looking for and when those healthier behaviours begin to feel like a natural part of what you do, a normal and actually essential part of your routine and who you are as a person. When they’re not there you don’t like it and so getting back to them becomes easy.

I hope this was interesting and helps you to understand the philosophy I try to bring to everything that balance does.

Please do write in the comment box below to tell me what balance means to you and how you know when you’re feeling well balanced. Your thoughts and comments inspire me to improve what I do and come up with new and better ways to help in future.

Stay balanced,

Paul

Choice: The good and the bad

Eighteen years ago, a much younger me (with less grey hair, and much more of it) did a Fitness Instructor qualification and began working in a gym for the princely sum of £5 an hour. At the time, I was under the impression that my courses were about gaining knowledge - learning about diet and exercises and that I'd then be able to go out into the world, tell people what to do and they’d get fitter and healthier as a result…

How naive and wrong I was!

Adults are essentially taller children. If you tell them what to do, they rebel just as much as their five-year old son or daughter would. Over the years I read everything I could about behaviour change, psychology and neuroscience, trying to understand how the brain works and I how could apply this knowledge to help people change. I came to the conclusion that my job was to let people choose their changes for themselves, so I started balance to coach them through this. I was convinced that my job was never to tell people what to do, just to be there to support them in making choices for themselves…

How naive and wrong I was!

What I’ve essentially discovered is that choice is hugely important to people and that any programme where you are told what to do will eventually fall down, but that providing people with too much choice can be overwhelming and leave them feeling paralysed…it’s all about finding the right balance. Here we’ll take a look at why choice can be both good and bad, and how you can use this knowledge in your quest for balance.

The bad

The amount of information we process in our brains each day has increased to unbelievable amounts in recent years, more than five times what it was just 30 years ago. Estimates put it at the equivalent of 174 newspapers every 24 hours…that’s a lot of reading! Comparing to computers (which of course, your brain is an extremely high-tech model of), it’s though we each process around 34 gigabytes of data a day. As a kid, my dad would have salivated at the thought of owning a device so powerful…which funnily enough, he did, it was just between his ears.

Right, that’s quite enough extra data for your brain to process, what’s my point? Even the highest quality computers begin to work more slowly when they’re overloaded with data. Have you ever gone shopping and been unable to choose between the 78 different breakfast cereals on offer, the 146 different loaves of bread, 24 different suntan lotions and 16 types of apples? It gets worse if you shop on the internet. Many a time I’ve tried to buy a new pair of trainers, book a hotel or a holiday and spent an hour or more trawling through comparison sites, links to special offers, Amazon, Google searches, eBay, villa listings and the myriad of other sites where choice is endless. All i often end up with is a headache. Back in the day, there’d be a handful of trainer brands and I could choose between black ones or white ones. With holidays, I’d go to a travel agents where they’d do the searching for me and narrow it down to about three for me to choose from. All this meant that my brain hurt a bit less.

It’s clear that choice can be bad. In fact, it can be paralysing. When you try to multi-task, your brain repeatedly switches between each of the things you’re trying to do; back and forth, back and forth, and each time it uses energy to achieve this, making it very tired. In much the same way, having to switch from option to option, trawling through page after page of 3-star hotels in central London, hoping to save £20 or get the nicest looking room and breakfast included, fatigues your brain and makes choosing seem much harder.

If you’ve watched Kirsty and Phil on Location, Location, Location, you’ll know what I mean; they’re often introduced to couples who’ve seen 50 houses or more but, as of yet still haven’t been able to pick one to live in. And if you’ve sat in a restaurant where the menu is so vast you don’t even know where to begin, pawing over it for some time before eventually choosing the dish you always have because it requires less thinking, you’ll know what I mean. Choice can be tiring and lead to inaction. It’s no coincidence that people who are stressed often talk of being unable to make decisions; their computer is full and no longer has the processing power.

It’s no wonder then that diet plans and exercise programmes that restrict choice are hugely popular, they save us having to make yet more choices about what exercise to do or what to eat for breakfast, mid-morning, lunch and dinner every single day. The problem is that one of the fundamental traits of being human is our innate desire to control our own destiny. And when we feel like the ability to choose has been taken away, we rebel. We don’t stick to the calorie-controlled diet, we don’t continue to cut out caffeine, alcohol, sugar or whatever else it is we’re not supposed to be having, and we don’t do the exercises our personal trainer told us to. We choose to take back control…isn’t that what the whole Br**it thing is about?

The good

As I’ve just mentioned, we don’t like to be shackled. We’re independent creatures and our desire for free will means we like to make our own choices. Choice is empowering and it also helps recognise that we know ourselves best and can often decide what’s in our best interests. Choice allows us to do things that fit with our values and beliefs, it allows us learn and to change things when they’re not working

The fact that each of us has our own unique genetic blueprint and our own mind creating unique thoughts every second of the day means that choice is a must. Because humans are all unique, programmes designed for the masses can never exactly fit our needs. I could no sooner write an exercise programme now that would work for 50 different people as I could walk to the moon for a nose around.

The balanced approach

So what takeaways are there from this very deep, philosophical wandering of mine?

1) Choice can be both helpful and unhelpful, so choose your choices wisely.

If you waste all of your brain power deciding what brand of couscous to buy in the supermarket, you’ll have very little left for making decisions like which mortgage to get, who to marry (if anyone) and the other big stuff!

Daniel Levitin, in his book The Organised Mind, suggests limiting less important choices to a set number of options, say three. Browse the stationery sections of three websites for a new diary and pick one from the selection that best suits your needs. It might not be perfect, but unless you design your own, it probably never will be, but it’ll save much needed energy for other big decisions and it’ll prevent you walking away with nothing.

In the context of health and fitness, you might weigh up two or three choices of gyms, footwear, trainers or apps and go for the one that seems right. The great thing is, if it’s not right, you can always choose to change your mind.

2) Delegate choices to others who can help

Joining Weight Watchers or hiring a PT is doing exactly this; you are choosing to pass on some of your choices to someone you trust. They can then provide you with the diet or exercise routine to follow so that you don’t have to make all of the choices. You have 34GB of data floating around your head so there’s no room to pick between the rower and the cross trainer or the myriad dinner options in the supermarket.

The growth of the meals delivered to your door industry is evidence of this delegation of choice; either you get something that’s ready to go, or you get all the ingredients and a recipe card, no need to think, just follow the instructions. If you love your exercise classes, you’re choosing to be told what to do, maybe because it just removes the stress of choice.

The key comes in point 1; take time to choose the best person or service that will meet your needs, that’s the most valuable choice. And hey, if you chose the wrong one, don’t be afraid to choose another.

I myself am using this knowledge to guide the structure of my latest book, working title ‘Think: How to achieve changes and make them last.’ In the past, I’d have left it completely open to you how you worked through it and that may well have left you overwhelmed by choice. This time around there’s a set, step-by-step structure to follow, allowing you to be guided through the process of change without having to make too many choices. The option to rebel and read it in a different order will of course always be there.

Big Hairy Audacious Goals

This fella is definitely big and hairy. And it appears that maybe your goals should be too.

In their book about building habits that last, James Collins and Jerry Porras believe there’s a huge amount of benefit in setting powerful, bold, life-changing goals that take you outside of your comfort zone. It should be a clear, compelling goal that literally inspires you.

A famous example of one of their so-called BHAG’s (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) might be America’s desire to put the first person on the moon. Of course you don’t need to travel into outer space, but you do need something that’s equivalent to shooting for the stars.

Make sure your goals are HARD

You’ll be very familiar with the SMART acronym commonly used with goals, the A of which stands for Achievable. We’ve long been told to set goals that we know we can achieve, and whilst we need to believe we can do it, it appears there’s a lot to be said for being a dreamer.

Edwin Locke and Gary Latham conducted a review of years worth of research into goal-setting; indeed across the studies they looked at, 40,000 people had set goals of some kind. What they uncovered was that difficult goals consistently led to higher levels of performance in a wide range of settings, indeed they note that…

“the highest or most difficult goals produced the highest levels of effort and performance.”

It’s thought that setting tougher goals helps us to focus our mind on the task at hand, filtering out other things that may distract from the main target. They also act to energise us, increasing our drive to succeed, and they help us to develop persistence as they can’t be achieved overnight. Finally, they appear to make us use our brains more, increasing ingenuity.

You’ll know you’ve set yourself a HARD goal if it is:

• Heartfelt: Do you have extremely important reasons for wanting to achieve your goal?

• Animated: Can you picture yourself clearly having achieved the goal? What’s it like? What does it look, feel and sound like to you?

• Required: Have you worked out clearly the tasks you need to do in order to achieve your goal? more on these shortly/

• Difficult: Have you identified the knowledge and skills you need in order to make your goal a reality.

Focus on the process

Because BHAG’s can take time, focusing solely on the outcome can be demotivating as even if you’re making progress, it can still seem like a long way away.

This is where you need to mix your gigantic goal with more frequent stepping stones. Process goals are ones where you set yourself targets around what you’re going to do as opposed to what you want as a result. So for example, when NASA wanted to put Neil Armstrong on the moon, they had to set themselves hundreds if not thousands of smaller goals around things like rocket design, fuel to be used, coping with G-Force, designing a moon-landing craft and of course getting the astronauts home safely.

Process goals should be at the forefront of your mind at all times, giving you daily tasks to achieve to inch your way towards the dream. Make a list of all the things you need to do and then identify the very first one you need to do. Once done you move on to the next and so on. Think of it as project management; you’re moving one step at a time towards completing your mission.

If you didn’t get chance to read my blog earlier this week on quick wins, make sure you take a look at it here as there’s more on process goals to help you.

So, dream big and you might be surprised what you can do.

Why is your brain so addicted to quick wins?

You may have seen my post on Facebook yesterday about that moment when you achieve something that wasn’t even on your to-do list, add it to your list and then tick it off straight away! It seems ridiculous doesn’t it, but there are powerful factors at play here that lead you to behave this way, and these things also heavily influence your approach to your health, fitness and wellbeing. Before we go on, here’s a link to the Daily Planner I took a picture of yesterday to use alongside my post, as there seemed to be a lot of love for it!

Ok, hands up, who clicked on the link straight away? Keep your hand up if you bought it. Why did you do that? Instant gratification. It’s highly powerful, addictive actually and it influences the fitness regimes you choose and your love for online shopping. Plus it was half-price so your brain loved it even more!!!!! Here’s what happens…

Your brain is hard-wired to look for quick wins and it loves stuff that’s shiny and new too. If you can get something done quickly, like buying an organiser with 1-click so that you feel like you’ll be more on top of your busy life, or you can lose four pounds in a day just by using the latest weight loss programme, a part of your brain known as the nucleus acumbens in your limbic system lights up. It’s the same part of the brain that lights up when you reach the next level on that addictive game, the same part that lights up when you tear open that chocolate bar and wolf it down in one go, the same part that lights up when a gambler wins a bet, the same part that lights up when a drug addict takes cocaine, and the same part that lights up during orgasm.

In any of these situations, you release a neurotransmitter called dopamine; often referred to as the ‘happy hormone’. Put simply, it makes you feel good, and boy do we like to feel good. Daniel Levitin, in his wonderful book The Organized Mind, notes the addictive nature of this response. He talks about gamers in China and South Korea who were so compelled to keep playing and receive their next dopamine hit, that they died having gamed non-stop for up to three days. He refers to this desire for a quick hit as hyper-immediacy and notes that it is an ever-increasing phenomenon in our technology-driven modern society.

Take your phone for example - the perfect place for quick wins. It lights up, beeps or plays a cheerful little jingle when you receive a text, email or any one of a raft of announcements. You often feel compelled to reply instantly to messages and you’re rewarded with a different sound when you do, the swooshing of that text zapping across cyberspace in an instant. And how do you feel? You feel like you’ve achieved something and so as a reward, your brain provides a nice little shot of dopamine. You get an even bigger rush when your clear your email inbox, you feel like you want to parade around the office holding your laptop aloft and throw an impromptu party.

This why tech can be so addictive. How many times do you check your phone to see if someone has liked or responded to your social media post? It’s the desire to send off that little rush of chemicals and make you feel good. And this desire for quick wins now pervades all aspects of society.

Take the email or text thing; do you get frustrated when someone doesn’t reply immediately? That wouldn’t happen in days gone by as the expectation that it was possible simply wasn’t there. Nobody posted a letter and expected a handwritten reply the very next day, nobody ran out to intercept the postman early in their rounds, wrestled them to the floor and tore open every envelop addressed to them in the desire for the response. They waited patiently; it probably took them a while to write it and get it sent off and so the same speed was often applied to reading the reply once it arrived.

Not today…compose message…send…stare at screen (hoping to see the little dots come up at the bottom to tell you the other person is reading it NOW…get frustrated if those dots disappear and the person hasn’t replied immediately). They may be trying to escape a burning building at the time, wrestle a bear escaped from the local zoo, be in the middle of a work meeting or making dinner for three kids, but that doesn’t matter to your limbic system, it wants that dopamine hit now!

What’s this got to do with your health and fitness?

Health and fitness goals are no different; you’re not daft, you know that what you want will probably take some time, but that’s not exciting for your brain as it doesn’t offer the instant gratification it has come to crave and expect.

So it’s no wonder we continuously fall for ‘9-day detoxes’, ‘lose 2-stone in a week bootcamps’ and ‘6-pack abs in 6 weeks’ articles in magazines. Those things light up your brain in the same way that your over-zealous neighbour lights up the entire street with a Christmas display to rival Blackpool illuminations.

You’re not daft, you’re not really fooled into thinking this is the solution I’ve been craving, but you can’t resist the gratification you’ll get from quick results. And for the PT industry, sometimes we struggle to understand why people continuously choose the path of least resistance. But why wouldn’t you choose quick and easy over the long road? It’s far more pleasurable after all and so when the quick fix falls by the wayside, you think, ‘I won’t do that again’ but then that 21-day detox comes along and your nucleus acumbens just can’t say no.

Don’t think that us PT’s don’t do it too; over the last few years there has been an explosion of fitness business gurus and online courses offering ‘6 easy steps to £100k a year’ or ‘earn what you want in just 8 hours a week’. And guess what, PT’s get lured in as their brain reacts like Charlie when staring through the window of the chocolate shop, tongue out, anticipating the instant pleasure from that Wonka Bar and the chance to get his hands on a golden ticket.

Becoming a ‘Haretoise’

Is there a more balanced approach, one that blends the addictive power of quick wins with something healthy that yields lasting results? I think there is, and here’s what I’d suggest.

Do you remember Aesop’s fable, The Tortoise and the Hare? Well then you know that the tortoise is content to take things slow and steady, aware she’ll get there in the end (in the spirit of modern times, I’ve made the tortoise female as she’s the sensible one who’s good at long-term planning). In the same way, you can use your inner tortoise to good effect. Identify the desire, the long-term or big goal - whatever it might be…losing a stone, dropping two trouser sizes, running a half marathon or lifting 100kg for the first time.

The problem with this of course, is that it’s going to take some time, and your nucleus acumbens isn’t going to stand for that, it wants satisfying much more urgently.

So you break the big desire down into smaller chunks. Why do you think Weight Watcher’s and Slimming world have been so successful? Because there’s a weekly weigh-in, a chance for gratification for your efforts every single week.

But even that’s too log these days, so you need to invoke your inner hare and ensure he’s getting quick wins every single day (yep the hare is a man, short-term thinking for instant gratification required). How can you do that? Here’s where you can use your behaviours to good effect. Most fitness and weight loss regimes focus solely on the outcomes; your brain lights up when it sees the scales tell you you’re lighter or you see your ab’s poking through when just a few weeks before it was more like Play-Doh. You can get the same sense of achievement by setting and achieving daily targets around behaviours, as long as you bring a few tricks into play:

Let’s use cutting down alcohol as an example. You set yourself the challenge of booze-free weekdays and you use the following tools to get that dopamine release you need to stay motivated and keep going towards your long-term desire (the boring health and weight-loss one that the tortoise is slowly plodding towards).

1) Record it visually - it might just be a piece of paper stuck to your fridge or desk that you can tick each day. You get a pleasure hit from the act of ticking it and even more when your family or colleagues see it too and give you praise or the odd high-five

2) Go high-tech - You might prefer to use an app, like the DrinkAware one, that allows you to set goals, track what you’re doing and gives you awards for achieving them. If you’ve ever used a Fitbit, you’ll know how addictive it can be to hit your steps and get the fireworks display on screen or receive a new badge for total distance covered or floors climbed. That’s because the same fireworks are happening inside your brain at that moment

3) Share goals and updates with a family member, friend or colleague - why do you think people post their latest run on social media or Strava became so popular? People like getting recognition; it keeps the hare happy with quick pleasure hits.

4) Check on the progress of your tortoise - much like Weight Watchers (sorry, WW as of recently), the progress check provides you with another source of feedback that can set off your happy chemicals and keep you on the path to success.

If you can strike the balance with the quick wins for the hare, whilst allowing the tortoise to move along gradually towards her big desire, you have a recipe that satisfies your brain and allows you to achieve lasting change.

You have the power

1) Your health, fitness and wellbeing is mostly influenced by your most frequent health behaviours; the things that you do day-in, day-out that affect you for better or worse. You can get a bit fitter and healthier in 7 days, even more so in 21 days and achieve even more in three months, but you also have to keep doing these things to stay that way, and that never changes. It is a lifelong quest, the ‘game’ of life if you like, and you have to learn to play in a way that works for you, one that’s sustainable and allows you to do more of the better things, more often, so that you feel good the majority of the time.

2) You have the absolute power to control these behaviours, and therefore to control your health, fitness and wellbeing. For some of you, there are absolutely things that impact your health and nothing you can do about them. The key is in accepting that some things are beyond your control and focusing on improving and expanding the bits that are. You’ve got to work with what you’ve got.

3) There is no failure, only feedback. Change is not the same for everyone. Sometimes making a change is quick and easy, at others it’s long and complicated. We will not always succeed in our attempts first time, second, or even third. We will however succeed eventually if we keep going. We definitely won’t if we give up. Even staying the same requires persistence; you might have a ‘bad’ week because of a holiday or a celebration, but that’s cool, it’s just about learning from it and as mentioned above, accepting it and moving on.

These are the three tenets of the new balance book and online challenges/games that I’m working on. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to share some of my thoughts around these with you in more depth; coping and behaviour change strategies that I use with clients to help them discover a mindset that makes the changes they want more likely.

Let’s start at a really important place; your ability to control your health, fitness and wellbeing. There’s this thing called Locus of Control; nope not locusts, they’re giant insects! It’s all about whether we feel we have control of something, giving us an ‘internal locus of control’ or if we feel it’s beyond us to manage right now, meaning it has an ‘external locus.

I’ve not lost the skills I developed in A-Level art! Luckily, with practice, I know I can get better so it’s in my control. ;-)

So, for example, health behaviours that have an internal locus of control for you might be:

• I can choose to swap an alcoholic drink in the evenings for a non-alcoholic choice; I know I can as I’ve done it before and it was easy

• I know I can walk or cycle into work as I have all the kit and there are showers and secure bike storage there

• I have an hour spare in the evenings where I could do a workout at home or go for a run.

Whereas things in your external locus of control right now might be:

• I have an ongoing medical condition; it’s genetic and some days it can leave me feeling too tired to do anything

• I have to get the kids to school in the mornings and then get to work so I know there’s no time for me to exercise there

• I don’t buy the food shopping so I can’t control what we have in the cupboards

The aim over time should be to increase the size of our internal locus of control, whilst reducing the external locus. If it helps to remember it, imagine you’re on ‘I’m a Celebrity’, slowly eating one Locust at a time so that you have more and more inside you. And if it doesn’t help, stop that thought right now.

This chap has increased the size of his internal locus of control, shrinking his external locus. No bugs were harmed during the process.

A little question to ask yourself

Get a pen and a piece of paper. Make two columns:

1) Internal Locus - Things that affect my health/fitness/wellbeing (or whatever your specific goal is) that are WITHIN my control.

2) External Locus - Things that affect my health/fitness/wellbeing (or whatever your specific goal is) that I CANNOT control right now.

Study the list…

Is there anything that you said was within your control that you’re not doing to the best of your abilities right now? Could you go back to not drinking in the week or using that free hour to get on your exercise bike whilst you watch TV? If there’s a couple, just pick one to work on for now, the others can come later.

If you’re already nailing your Internal Locus bits, ask yourself,

‘could I do anything to gain more control over something on my External Locus list?’

It can be a very small thing; you may do some of the food shopping yourself, or even just sit with your partner and make the list together so you have more influence on what they bring home. If it seems hard to find something, think about the things you’re already controlling and see if any of the things you do there or the skills you possess that enable you to achieve these could be transferred across.

Control is confidence

You’ve chosen something. How does that feel already? It’s unlikely you’ve done it yet as you only chose it a few seconds ago, but still, you’ll often find it brings a sense of relaxation, a confidence that you can achieve things. This positive mindset also brings with it a sense of resilience, a change in thought-process, which means that even if you try and it doesn’t work first time, it’s not the end of the world, you’ll keep tweaking it and trying again until you get there. We’ll look more at the mindset of persistence very soon; it can be learned and it will help you achieve awesome stuff!

You can repeat this process at regular intervals; weekly is good, each time seeing if you can take charge of one more behaviour, increasing the size of your internal locus of control and bringing you step-by-step closer to better balance.

Stay balanced and enjoy the journey,

Paul

The important stuff - how your values impact your health and wellbeing

In the last few weeks I’ve been working very hard on the upcoming balance book. There’s been a lot of planning, writing, editing, re-writing, researching and tea drinking. The structure is now complete start to finish and I’m busy filling in the bits of content.

I thought I’d share some of these bits with you as I go along, to give you a flavour of what the book is like and to offer you some useful help with your health, fitness and wellbeing. This first piece comes from the very start of the book as it has the potential to impact everything you do from setting goals to making changes. It’s all about your values; I hope you find it helpful.

Values - what’s important to you in life?

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.” 

Brian Tracy

What is important to you in your life? What do you believe in? What guiding principles do you wish to live by? These might seem like strange questions to ask here, but they’re hugely important to the lifestyle changes that you are considering making. Why you might ask? Let’s take a look.

A former client of mine, Emily, wanted to lose a stone. We’d agree targets and actions but when we came to review her progress, she’d never achieve them, saying she just felt that she wasn’t the sort of person who could lose weight. This went on for a while, until in one of our sessions, she mentioned that she had a young daughter who’d suffered with an eating disorder, although she was now much better. 

We discussed how the impact this had on her and she realised that she was worried that her losing weight might set her daughter off on the wrong path again. To Emily, her daughter was the most important thing in the world and she constantly worried about her. She realised that she was so concerned for her daughter that, whenever she was around, she would eat in order to try to encourage her to do the same. 

We talked about how eating too much and being overweight could also be unhealthy, and she said that she would talk to her daughter about her weight-loss goals. As it turned out, her daughter wasn’t worried about it in the slightest and actively encouraged her mom to get fitter and healthier, which she duly achieved over the next few months. Emily’s strong family values had at first hindered her progress because she hadn’t found a way to reconcile them with her other health goals. Once she had, she was in the right place to achieve them.

What I saw with Emily was the she placed the thing most important to her at the top of her list. Her daughter was more important to her than her own health. And it’s the same for everyone; we all have things in our world that are vitally important to us. For some people, it’s family, for others it may be friendships, success, health, wealth, trust, adventure, compassion, or learning. The difficulty comes when we want to do something to improve our health, fitness or wellbeing, but we feel in our heads that this may in some way negatively impact on our values. 

Not everyone places health high up their values list, nor should they. Your values are unique to you; they began forming at a very early age through life experiences and the influence of those close to you and changing them is hard. The great news is, you don’t have to change them, all you need to do if you want to get fitter and healthier is find a way to balance the changes you feel you should make with your values. For example, if relaxation is an important value for you and you currently smoke to help you relax when things are stressful at work, giving up smoking may not work unless you find an alternative way to unwind. Equally if career success to ensure you can look after those dear to you is your most important value, it can be hard to find time to fit exercise and healthy eating into your daily routine. Recognising that being fitter and healthier can help you achieve career success through increased energy, concentration and motivation is an important step, as is making changes that still allow you to work as hard as you feel is needed. 

Interestingly, I know that my own values often cause challenges for me in a different way. I place being fit and healthy at the very top of the tree as I feel it helps me with everything else, but sometimes I’ll prioritise doing a workout over my tax return or getting more sleep over meeting a deadline. The key is to find the right balance.

What are your values?

Step 1: Check out the task in the link below, created by William Miller and colleagues. Miller, along with another colleague called Stephen Rollnick, created a form of coaching known as Motivational Interviewing which has been hugely successful in helping people to change, with a recent review of the scientific studies done on the topic stating that it ‘outperforms traditional advice giving in the treatment of a broad range of behavioural problems.

You can add any values that you feel are missing, or even skip the task and simply make a list of the things you feel are extremely important to you in your life.

Whichever way you do it, you should finish by selecting the FIVE most important values to you overall.

https://www.guilford.com/add/miller2/values.pdf

Step 2: Look at your five most important values. Might they in any way negatively impact your health, fitness and wellbeing?

Step 3: Do they positively impact your health, fitness and wellbeing at all?

Step 4: How might being fitter and healthier help you to live more in line with your values?

You should now have a good idea of what’s important to you and understand how these things might be both problematic and beneficial for your health, fitness and wellbeing. Being able to link any lifestyle changes back to your personal values can be a fantastic tool to motivate you to stick at them and maybe even make more changes in future.

A balanced afternoon

Here's a quick quiz to see how balanced your afternoons are. Score one point for yes, zero for no.

1) Do you eat lunch away from work or stresses in a relaxed environment?

2) Do you get up and move for at least five minutes every hour during the afternoon?

3) Do you get outside for some fresh air for ten minutes or more across the afternoon?

4) Do you stop drinking caffeinated drinks by late afternoon?

5) If eating snacks in the afternoon, do you choose healthy options?

6) Do you feel alert and energised across the afternoon?

7) If you do feel tired, do you give yourself a short break to just sit quietly and relax or use power naps to give you a boost where you can?

8) Do you drink water, squash or herbal tea regularly through the afternoon to stay hydrated?

9) Do you have strategies in place to ensure healthy options should you suffer the common mid-afternoon lull?

10) Do you avoid sitting in the sun during the hottest part of the day, or at least where enough suntan lotion if you do?

Less than 3 points shows there's plenty you can do to improve your balance, 4-7 points means you're on the way to balance and 8 or more means you're well balanced.

Why we ALL have mental health problems...and what we can do about it

Mental wellbeing - more grey than black and white

According to recent statistics, one in four people in the UK experiences mental health problems, or rather, one in four of us gets diagnosed with mental health problems. What if though, WE ALL suffered from mental health issues?

In times gone by, you'd often hear talk of 'mental illness' and the simplified notion was that you were mentally ill or not. In reality, it's just not that simple. In the same way that physical health sits on a sliding scale, with excellent at one end and well, to put it bluntly, at death's door at the other, mental wellbeing can also be imagined on a continuum. It can fluctuate towards better or worse mental health and wellbeing on a weekly, daily and even hourly basis. And it doesn't matter who you are or what you do, where you live or how much money you earn, it does affect you.

There are of course differences between us, with some more at risk of sliding the wrong way along the scale due to genetic influences and uncontrollable life circumstances, but there are also many actions most definitely within your control that affect where you are on the continuum at any one time. It is these behaviours that form the focus of this blog piece and that are the target when I work with individual clients or when helping larger number of people through employee wellbeing initiatives. 

A few principles of mental wellbeing

When you think of mental health challenges, you might often conjure up words like stress, depression and anxiety. You may imagine these to be bad, and they certainly can be, but that's not always the case. Stress can be very good; imagine a lion escapes from the local zoo and appears on your driveway. The stress response that enables you to quickly run inside and shut the door is very helpful! Equally, exercise is a stress on your body; you know the saying 'no pain, no gain' or as I prefer to say, 'no challenge, no change', meaning that you only get fitter when you put your body under stress. Too little stress from exercise and you become unfit and unhealthy, too much and again you can get problems. It's all about finding the right balance for you. Depression and anxiety can have their place too; it's normal to grieve for a lost loved one and part of the healing process, and it's absolutely fine to be anxious about a big exam or interview, in fact science is quite clear that, up to a point it raises performance. 

The problems occur when the stress, anxiety or depression become too much, too severe and also when they go on continuously. Mental wellbeing is present when you have a healthy balance of emotions but if the balance is tipped too far, we can have issues. One of the big difficulties about recognising mental health problems is that for each of us, these issues can be different. This definition of stress by Hans Selye, a scientist famous for his work in this area in the mid-20th century, helps to explain this:

"Stress is the non-specific response of an individual to any demand for change."

What he was saying is that stress could be caused by a multitude of things, basically anything that calls for adaptation from a person. A new form to fill in at work, a house move, changes in job circumstances, a closed road meaning you must drive somewhere unknown or any other number of stressors. 

He was also saying that the way in which we all respond to this stress is unique. There might be a physical response like increased heart rate, sweating or trembling, or a mental response and for some that stress may bring about good changes whilst for others it might cause issues. 

This is what makes mental health problems so hard to recognise and understand. When you get stressed you may lose your appetite, whilst another may comfort eat. One might withdraw from their social circle whilst another might go out and party hard. One person may present with physical symptoms like poor skin or a raised blood pressure, whilst another may suffer psychologically. Always bear these two points in mind when thinking about mental health and wellbeing:

1) What leads to stress, depression or anxiety for one person may not for another.  

The triggers for each individual are unique; it doesn't mean they are weak or 'that's just them', it's a complex interplay of genetics, previous experiences and all of the things that are going on in someone's life at any one time. I've heard a number of times in a work setting, 'How can they be signed off with stress? I do the same job as them and I'm fine.' It simply doesn't work like that.

2) The unique response of each individual to mental health pressures can make them hard to recognise.

It's generally impossible to look at someone and see a mental health problem. Again I've heard lines like 'Well they didn't look/seem ill to me' when referring to colleagues signed off work, but as we've seen above, how the issue shows itself can differ from person to person and over time. Doctors will weigh up all of the signs and symptoms when making a diagnosis; sleep patterns, energy levels, mood, behavioural changes, appetite, thought processes and physical checks of heart rate and blood pressure are just a few of the areas that are factored in.

Load and resilience

Your mental health and wellbeing can be influenced by two major factors; firstly, how much load or stress you are faced with at any one time. In the picture above, this is represented by the jug of water...the more that gets poured in the greater the challenge for you. The second is your ability to cope with these challenges, known as your resilience, represented by the glass. If you reach the point where you've poured more in than your glass can cope with, you overflow and, just like the water leaking over the sides of the glass, it can head in any direction, or in other words, it can represent itself in any number of ways unique to you.

This means there are two things you can do to stay well balanced with our mental wellbeing...

1) Pour less in (decrease the load) 

It's important that you're aware of just how much you have going on and ensure that you're never pouring so many challenges in that you start to overflow. That's easier said than done these days with lives business than they've ever been and the constant bombardment of tasks and information that come out us in all aspects of life. In the 'What can you do?' section below, you'll find a range of suggestions to help you lighten then load.

2) Work on your glass (increase your resilience) 

Alongside pouring less in, you can also work on coping better with what comes your way. This means upgrading your glass from a shot glass to a tumbler or even better still, a pint glass (don't race down the pub just yet)! There are many things you can do to help both your body and mind cope better with the pressures you face. You can also learn ways to tip a little of what's being poured in back out again. This keeps you from overflowing and helps you stay balanced.

What can you do?

Pouring less in - just being aware of the volume of stuff you have going on is a good start. Sometimes you'll find that you only notice you have too much going on when it's already overloaded you and you're struggling mentally or physically as a result. Being consciously aware of how much is going on is a great place to start. Remember too that even things that are enjoyable still count as load. For example, you know how much I love exercise and sometimes I forget that doing a long run or bike ride is still load being poured into my glass. I'll then try to also do loads of work on the garden, catch up on all my emails, write a new chapter of my next book, get my accounts up-to-date and catch up with friends. Then after all that, I'll wonder why I'm feeling exhausted! 

You have to learn some important lessons to get this bit right; how to prioritise some things at the expense of others and also, often, how to say no. You'll know how much you can pour in before you start to feel the effects, so have it in the forefront of your mind when you're planning the days and weeks ahead. This applies both to work and life; here's a little table going you some examples of how you might prevent overload in both situations.

Making your glass bigger and tipping some back out - there are a myriad of tools you can use to do this and for simplicity, I divide them into four categories:

1. Psychological

2. Physical

3. Social

4. Recreational

Psychological tools are any that help to alter your mindset. This might include breathing techniques, meditation, mindfulness, counselling or learning to change your inner dialogue to be more helpful. 

Physical tools include all the things that help your body to cope better and be physically as well as mentally healthier; exercise, better diet, getting more sleep and reducing or quitting smoking and alcohol.

Social tools involve getting help from others. Generally, people are awesome and when it comes to mental health, being sociable is proven to make a difference. How you achieve this can vary from talking about your challenges to joining a club, helping someone else or doing something for a good cause. 

Recreational tools are all the things you can do for enjoyment like your hobbies, listening to music, reading books, playing games, learning and spending time with your pets (I often include this last one in with the social tools because pets are people too right?). All are known to have a positive impact on your mood and send you the right way along the continuum towards better mental health.

Here's a nice little summary of all of them for those of you who prefer pictures to words:

There is without a doubt a crossover between these four areas; for example you might join a Quidditch team...yes you really can do that! That will give you some exercise, time with friends and you get to play a game which all help to distract you from the stresses of daily life and boost your mental wellbeing. The categories are simply meant to guide you towards the many possible tools you already have at your fingertips that can help you find more balance.

All of these tools work through a range of powerful mechanisms, including:

• Altering the levels of feel-good chemicals in your brain that help to make you feel better

• Distracting you from the pressures of daily life

• Enabling you to escape, take a step back and maybe evaluate things in a different way

• Getting help; as the saying goes...'a problem shared is a problem halved'

• Boosting your self-image, self-worth and self-confidence

Key considerations

• There are lots of things you can do to improve your mental wellbeing. You do not have to do them all in one go; just one small change will make a difference and it really doesn't matter what you decide to do. Just pick something that feels right and that you think you'll be able to stick to. No matter if it doesn't work, pick something else and go again.

• Health comes when behaviours are repeated consistently over time. Try to do it just for a day at first, then when you've nailed that, aim for a week, then another week and so on until it's just a normal part of everyday life.

• Managing your mental wellbeing is a constant journey. There is a principle in exercise known as reversibility. This is best described by the phrase 'if you don't use it, you lose it'. You know this well from fitness regimes and diets. If you stop doing your running after that 10k race you lose fitness; if you give up the diet you were following the weight can come back. The same principle applies to mental wellbeing too. If you stop practising the behaviours that help you to manage how you feel, you stop getting the benefits. Life will inevitably throw in challenges that mean some days and weeks aren't as good as others but the great news is, you can always start doing the right things again and get yourself back to balance.

Please do get involved in the conversation below. What do you do that helps you balance your mental health and wellbeing? What tips would you offer others? Anything you'd like to share that helps people to be fitter, healthier and happier.

Thanks, 

Paul

This blog was adapted from a seminar I gave recently for Origin Workspace, an exciting new co-working and start-up support business based in Bristol. You can find out more about them here.

If you'd like to make sure you never miss a new balance blog, you can sign up to our newsletter for automatic updates and much more help to you get fitter, healthier and happier HERE.

Join me for the 'One Step towards a Balanced Diet 7-Day Challenge'

As the theme of this month's newsletter is all about making small changes, I thought we could try a little challenge to see if we can each make a small change of our own to our eating habits.

It's like a very miniature version of the Ten Steps to a Balanced Diet online programme I'm launching in January, so my logical brain told me to call it the 'One Step towards a Balanced Diet Challenge.' 

Here's me making my pledge to change one thing for one week. I'll be sharing it on Facebook in the coming days, and please do join in by telling me what small change you're going to make for the week ahead. You never know, that change may just stick and help you on the way to better health, better fitness, better weight and shape, and better balance. Small changes can lead to big results.

Why Stoptober works...and what you can learn from it

Stoptober is in full flow, with people quitting for 28 days initially.

Recent years have seen a boom in one-month challenges, including Stoptober, the quit smoking for October challenge from the NHS, Dry January or Go Sober for October, Veganuary and the infamous Movember.

So just why are they so successful?

1) It's only a month.

Quitting smoking or alcohol forever seems like a pretty daunting task. Take it down to just a matter of weeks and all of a sudden it appears much more doable. As Stoptober say on their website however, quitting for 28 days makes you 5 times more likely to quit for good.

What can you take from this? When you want to make a change, why not do a trial run of it first, setting yourself a goal of doing it for a short period of time to begin with.

2) In it together.

Knowing that you're part of a group aiming to achieve a shared objective can be highly motivating. You feel like you don't want to let others down or be the one who falls first.

What can you take from this? Find someone you can share your change joinery with, a friend or a family member, or maybe even a group of people. Helping others and getting help when you need it can make a real difference.

3) Taking on and overcoming the challenge

The public nature of these events leads people to tell others they're getting involved, and we all like to feel good when people praise us for achieving things. 

What can you take from this? If you want to change something, maybe making it known to others will spur you on to make it happen, partly through a fear of being seen to fail but also because you'll feel great when others praise you for your efforts.

4) Expert support

Many of the charity challenges have advice and support on how to make the changes from qualified experts. This means you go into them knowing you have help from reliable sources.

What can you take from this? Look for advice on making your change from a source you trust and who can help with your particular challenge.

5) Raising money for good causes

Charity can be a real motivator for change, and when people have sponsored you to do something, you often feel very motivated not to let them down.

What can you take from this? Even if it's not a major charity fund-raising change, maybe you can add some value to it. Make a bet with someone that you'll pay for dinner or drinks if you don't succeed, and they'll pay if you do. Or reward yourself by purchasing something you want (it's best if it's not food as this can lead to a link between food and mood which isn't always helpful) or by putting money into a jar towards a bigger dream purchase if you manage to succeed. For example, you can put any money you would've spent on alcohol or cigarettes into a jar towards a holiday.

Why do you try to do too much and fail, and what can you do about it?

I'm an optimist, always have been. I firmly believe that I can do more in the time I have available than I actually can. I always think it will take less time to get somewhere than it does, that the roads will be traffic-free and a smooth journey awaits. I also believe that I'll be able to get through the list of ten things that I set myself to do each day, and that I'll also fit in two exercise sessions around this, and do the housework, and have time to read my favourite book in the evening.

But I don't.

And I'm not alone. Many of us will take on too many things at once, try to fit a new course in around a busy work schedule, imagine that we'll have time to cook all of our meals for the week ahead on Sunday afternoon, or tell the gym instructor when we join the gym that it'll be no problem to go seven days a week. Stand up if this last one is you. Now sit down again, at least you've got a squat in today even if you haven't quite squeezed in that workout.

Now I'm not saying optimism is a bad thing; we need it to motivate ourselves and research has often found that working towards something positive is more effective than working away from something negative, and that people with a strong belief in themselves are often more likely to achieve. But sometimes we go too far and this can be as problematic as being too negative; what we need instead is to strike a nice balance.

So let's look at why it is in our nature as humans to overload ourselves with things to do and then repeatedly come up short? And after that we'll look at some possibilities to change in future.

Optimism feels good

It takes us to an imaginary place where everything is how we want it to be and that makes us feel good. Because we feel good we decide that's where we'd like to be instead and so we rush to get there, attempting to do everything all in one go. This can lead to a mismatch between our dreams and desires and our current situation and abilities. I'm sure you know it, I call it 'X-Factor Syndrome'. "I want to be the next Mariah Carey." And ok, that's cool, what's sometimes forgotten is how long and hard the journey is to get that far, let's just settle for singing in tune first and go from there; if we still want it, we keep working at it step-by-step, often for a long time to really master it.

Memory is always rose-tinted

If you've ever done something silly like a marathon, or other suitably big challenge, you'll know what I'm talking about here. You finish the race and you say it, you always do...'never again', and you mean it. You feel terrible, exhausted, your whole body hurts and you can't stomach food or drink. But as the days pass these aches and pains become less and you start to think, 'maybe it wasn't that bad?' Within two weeks you're trawling websites looking for future marathons because you're sure you can go faster, and then boom, you've entered! 

The same happens here, we forget that we took on too much and it didn't work, or we push it to the back of our minds or assign the failure to maintain our change as down to chance or something beyond our control. It may well have been; what we often don't do though is to look at why it didn't go as planned. What have I really learned? What needs to be different this time for me to get there? These are deep and painful questions sometimes, and we don't like to recognise 'failures' on our own part, although it is helpful to do so and even to look at them not as failures, simply as learning. 

We prefer it to feeling 'negative'

Even if we've had a go at something and it hasn't worked out, it's better not to be down about it, right? If we start saying things like 'I can't do that' these days, it's easy to be labelled as a pessimist or just being negative. Society puts a lot of pressure on us to be cheerful and upbeat, when sometimes we don't want to be, and actually, it's not always helpful to be. As with most things, it's about striking the right balance, it's not about saying 'that's impossible' or "I can never achieve things', it's about saying 'what's realistic to do right now given what's going on in life/work/at home.' In the long run, this can help us more than blind faith and endless positivity.

Thinking positively is a start...but it's doing that actually makes things happen

One thing I've discovered over the years is that sometimes we just don't feel very positive. Some days I wake up and think 'I can't be arsed to train today' or 'that plan I have for the business is useless.' I've worked with many clients too who turn up for sessions feeling down or tired or lacking belief they can achieve their goals. We work on the mantra of 'let's just do it anyway.' So we do some exercise or we eat well even if we're not feeling it, and lo and behold, our mood improves and we start to feel a bit more positive about things.

If you struggle with positivity, taking the 'just do it anyway' approach might help. It's certainly better than thinking positively but not doing something about it, that's just praying for luck and whilst sometimes it can happen, what you want becomes much more likely with doing.

Optimism prevents us from examining potential problems,  barriers and drawbacks

Being positive and believing things will work out in the end can stop us from examining why we haven't got there already. A reality check allows us to look more deeply at why we've not achieved the goals we set, and most importantly, create an action plan for the future.

So we've established that for many of us, it's in our nature to be overly optimistic and set ourselves up not to achieve. In fact, did you know there are even different types of optimists! Check them out here to see which you are, then come back quickly so we can do something about helping you to achieve lifestyle changes, or whatever else it is you're after.

What can we do about all this?

Firstly, let's state that it really depends on whether you think it's a problem or not. Are you happy as you are and the change you want is just an added bonus, but not that important? Or does it really frustrate you that you can't get to where you want to be? In which case, you must understand the things that bring about change. Change comes when:

1) I am confident that I can do it.

This is our self-belief. If we have high self-belief, sometimes known as self-efficacy (confidence in our ability to do a certain thing) then the likelihood of success increases. As we've been talking about in this article, it's not just about this though. Some X-Factor contestants have very high self-belief, but they lack in the other areas below, namely point 4! 

2) There is a reason or reasons for me to do it.

Seeing the values change brings can help us to change. It may be that we'll gain something important from doing so; energy, health, self-esteem, or we lose something by doing it; embarrassment, anxieties, a feeling of worthlessness, a health issue. 

3) It is important for me to do it.

This is the motivation bit. Knowing that there are benefits is not enough though; many people know that quitting smoking is good for their health, but they still don't do it. That's often because the thing they get from smoking they value more than their health, or at least equally as much. The change you want to make has to fit in with your values as a person for it be important enough to make the effort to change, or you must at least see how it benefits the things you value in a roundabout way. For example, someone may not value their health, but they may highly value their family and feel it's important to spend quality time with them, so they're driven to change because they know their family are worried about them or they wish to be able to continue to provide for them.

4) I have the skills and resources to be able to do it.

The final piece in the jigsaw is about the things you can actually do, your skills. I can believe that I can win the X-Factor all I want, but if I can't sing there's a fair chance it ain't going to happen (I might still make the final 12 in some years though)! It may well be that I need to develop some skills, or at least consider which ones I'll need to use. I need to think about the resources I have to do the job; do I need time, money or support from someone else with the skills I lack?

Bearing all of this in mind, here's your 5 point change checklist. Try it for me now with a lifestyle goal you're looking to work on; grab a pen and paper and follow these steps:

1. Pick a change (remember, less is more, get this one done first and then come back to do the others later)

2. Ask yourself how confident you are that you can achieve it on a scale of 0-10. Write down why you chose this number and not a lower one?

3. Write down all the good things you'll get from this change.

4. Write down why you want to make the change now.

5. List the skills and resources you need to make this change. If you don't have any on your list, write next to them how you can get them or who you'll need to help you, there's nothing wrong with asking for help.

A few other pointers for you too; look back at what's gone wrong in the past when you've tried to do this (or something similar if doing it for the first time). Be honest, or better still, ask someone you know to tell you why they think you didn't succeed. Then come up with some ideas for how you can get over this hurdle this time.

And if you're sat there feeling like you can't achieve your goal, you can always change it you know, or change the answers to any of the questions, or just crack on and do it anyway like we said before, as you get closer so will your belief rise.

I'd love to hear how you get on with your goals in the comments box below, or if you have any questions you'd like to ask.